Thread: Why I resent sex

I don't think there's a "but" about it when you have needs. She needs to compromise OR you'll divorce, not she needs to compromise OR you'll cheat. Either your marriage is worth continuing working on, or it's not ... don't give a woman a reason to take you to the cleaners in family court. Divorce on decent terms before you hit the pay-by-the-hour motel.

Again, it's very plain and simple to me. Effort or no effort, if YOU are not getting what you NEED in a marriage in order to be happy and there is no budging, you should divorce. Thinking to yourself "well I don't want to divorce and end my marriage", you are doing JUST that by cheating. AND you're involving another human being in your drama (whomever you cheat with). To me....and sorry if this offends, but the mentality of "well if you aren't going to give me what I want, I'll sneak and get it elsewhere" is very juvenile. As adults, we have the freedom to DO what we want, to GET what we want, we don't have to cheat and lie to do so. It is a horrible choice to have to make "wife vs sex" or vice versa, but if you are TRULY not getting what you need and you are not willing to budge and she's not willing to budge, there is only one solution. It's that simple.

Back to Page One, where to OP said..

My son will be 15 in a few days. The shower is right next to his bedroom. We did do this once, but my son was right in the bedroom and I know he can hear everything. I explained that I didn't want to do that again and felt uncomfortable that my son was right there and was definitely old enough to figure out what was going on.

There are several things to help with this situation.. You can get a Radio or CD Player and put on some Music to Cover the Sounds.. Unless you are a Headboard Banger and Screamer, the music will offset any "Love Making Sounds".
They have the Hanging Waterproof Radios for Showers too .

Your son is old enough to be learning about Sex in school and probably knows way more than you think, from the Internet, TV, Movies and Peers. It may be time for that " Talk " about how Adults do need some Private Time and in order to respect his senses, there are times you may listen to music in your bedroom.

You may also add, that that does not always mean you are Making Love, sometimes it just may be an Adult Talk time,to discuss Personal things, Bills or such that you both feel is a bit Sensitive to one as young as he is.

Being in the Military or a family member thereof, yes it's hard to make new Friends for your son.
But I do know there are " Teen Centers" for Activities, there are after school and Summer/ Sports clubs available on most Bases..

If not living on Base, there are after School and Boys and Girls clubs, YMCA/YWCW. Showing him there are other Activities that he can join and become involved in is Good for him in the long run. It also can be a time that you & Hubby Can have your " Play Time ".

On This ..

It's about once a week. And for a while there, the once of week involved the whole dress up, heels, lingerie, the whole dirty sex thing.

The Whole Dress up, Makes him a Very Lucky Man, that you are willing to do this for him..

What concerns me is you call it the " Dirty Sex Thing ". Have you thought about why it's " Dirty " to you ? Do you ever think of it as your " Sexy " Thing, the Thing... You know just turns him On and in turn Turns you on ?

I think a lot of the resentment came in from him was when I had to get up at 4:30am to go to work, but he stayed up to 1:00 am and expected to come to bed and have sex. I always knew when he came to bed early that was why he was coming. I started to get upset because he would stay up playing video games until late, but he could find the time to come to be with me when he wanted it

Being in the Military, whether you or he or both, There are Schedules that have to be kept, like it or not and you/he have to adjust. He/ you know that if you have an early Call, you are to be Available, refreshed and wide awake and at your best. Because that is your JOB, you/he are best able to Protect Our Country when you are not Sleep Deprived.

Therefore he should know and respect and encourage your sleep and rest, when you have to be up at 4:30 Am to work ( military or civilian job ). It is time that you take charge of Yourself and your Son and your Ability to function properly and in a Healthy manner.

Tell Hubby, My bedtime is ( fill in ) If you wish to come to bed now and maybe talk or cuddle or even just sleep or listen to some " Music '".

Not to mention too hard, But your 15 year old son should be in bed By 9-10 pm anyway. He should be ready to get up refreshed and alert for his school day.

If you wish to stay up and play your Game, Please do not disturb me as I need my Sleep. We will find another time that we both can get frisky. Or we can make some time, maybe we can go Dancing or have a good night out and return home after ( name son) is asleep and put on some Sexy Clothes and Some Music " ?

Last Ditch effort, put those Sexy things up on a Craigs List or Barter/Trade Site , and renew your Wardrobe and other Military wives might get some "Sexy Action" with New Heels .. Put some of the Money to Good Use, you know, a Nice Romantic Dinner & Movie, or even sending the Son to a Movie on Base or another function.

Beautiful Disaster -i am trying to encourage her, i'm sure her HUSBAND loves her and thats why he wants to be intimate with her, if she doesn't ever give him anything i'm sure he will resent her and then look elsewhere because some love he had for her will die since she isn't trying to make him happy.