HandJob (Masturbating for Him)

**HDResidentE** · 02-02-2012 01:37 PM

Okay, so I have a question; but let me start off by saying I'm very new to this "hand job" idea. I've had previous boyfriends before, but I was never comfortable with any of them enough to give them one, but I'm extremely comfortable sexual wise with the one I'm currently with. I have no idea why I am more comfortable with him, but I am. I guess that's a good sign.

Anyways, just to let you all know I'm 18 years old, incase you were wondering.

Okay, one night, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty intimate (no sex) and we were down to our underwear...but neither of us are ready for the actual sex itself yet. So we are taking things slow and going around it. Anyway, we were making out and I had suddenly realized that my hand was resting on his penis (outside his boxers) and he began thrusting a little bit. That made me automatically begin to stroke him and eventually I made my way inside the boxers. But here is where the problem occured...like I said I am very new to this and hadn't ever done it before...so once I was stroking him, he began thrusting into my hand pretty quickly and I couldn't keep up. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be the one moving or if I was to just hold onto his penis and let him thrust into my hand. But once I stopped moving to let him do it, he'd slow down and eventually stop. So once I started stroking again, he began thrusting again. Our rythms were totally off and eventually my arm began to cramp up from trying to keep up with him.

So here is my question...was I doing something wrong? How can I go about this better? I would love to know so whenever we do it again, I'll be better at it.

Thanks,
HD

**lizzardb63** · 02-02-2012 03:28 PM

You didn't do anything wrong. What I would suggest is talking to him about it. Tell him you've never done that before and that he should tell you what feels good and when it feels good. That's the only way to learn. Usually with a hand job, you hold it in your hand and move it back and forth...if he is thrusting so much that you go off rhythm, that might be HIM making it awkward... maybe it just felt really good. Best advice...communicate with him. Talk to him about it, find out what he likes.

**jns** · 02-02-2012 08:20 PM

Instead of trying to do most of the work by stroking him so much, slow down so he does the most of it with his thrusting. You could use your other hand to stroke his testicles, even it he still has his pants on: simply do it from the outside. Good luck.

**LanaBear** · 02-02-2012 09:34 PM

Like the others said, talk to him about it and find out what is feeling good to him. Neither of you are mind readers. Like JNS said, play with his balls a little, if he is okay with that. Just enjoy each other and experiment. After all, practice makes perfect!

**ItsASecret** · 02-04-2012 12:40 AM

For starters I would suggest you let him know that you just want to explore around and see what makes him feel good. If you are just laying there essentially fiddling around just let him know that you just want to explore and just keep talking to him. Mention you want to make it feel good for him and be honest say that you want to learn whatever it is that makes him feel good so you need him to help you with that. The thing to keep in mind is just to go slow at the start, you can tell him you just want to take it easy and see what type of movements work for him. Start slow though and do a buildup. My bf likes the gentle fingers across the top and playing around with his balls at the start, then he likes long slow strokes of his penis. After a bit try moving your hand in that slow motion but add a corkscrew motion but stop just before the tip because it can be too sensitive. Just that full contact of a long stroke is what my bf says feels good because it is gentle enough to add the buildup, in which case you can speed up the motion to appease whatever speed he may like. But the long corkscrew motion tends to work quite well.

**kiwi guy** · 02-04-2012 07:12 PM

I've tried numerous times trying to show my wife how to stroke me so I achieve an orgasm, but she only does it for a short time & never seems keen on having her hand there long enough thou - I presume it's just incase I cum on her hand? 'Occassionally her hand manages to stay the full distance!
Have others of you had the same issue?

**Texasred** · 02-07-2012 08:27 PM

I would add to what others have suggested: talk to him, find out what he likes, and then tell and show him what YOU would like him to do to YOU - since the odds are he doesn't have much of a clue about that either.
Have fun!