help, first time

**Firsttimer** · 02-02-2012 06:38 PM

Hi, I am 18 and my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and we have decided are both ready for sex. It is both of our first time and I'm really excited to get to share that moment with someone I love so much but I guess I am just a little nervous because I don't really know what to expect. We are pretty big on foreplay even though we have never actually had sex, so I know that in the moment I will be totally ready for it, but right now I just don't really know what to do I guess? I think I am just making myself a little nervous by having to wait for awhile until we see each other again. I am already planning on going out to buy condoms for us. One question that I have for sure is, is it going to hurt? I think I am pretty... "tight." and how long would it hurt? And what do I do if he wants me on top? LOL I'm sorry if this is so like, basic, I'm just very new to all of this and I don't know what to expect.

**jns** · 02-02-2012 07:58 PM

Whether it hurts or not and if it does, how much, depends on the people involved and their physical and psychological attributes. Relaxing on your part is a good thing to keep any hurting to a minimum. He or you working on you having an orgasm before sex, if possible, will also help your body relax and be more accommodating. Using plenty of lubricant (store bought) will also help. He being slow and patient will help. He being properly concerned will also help.

**Firsttimer** · 02-02-2012 08:40 PM

Okay I will buy lubricant with the condoms. Is there any particular type to get or avoid? Yes he has already agreed to go slow for me and I told him that he might have to talk to me or something to make sure im staying relaxed.

**jns** · 02-02-2012 08:47 PM

If it is sex lubricant, it will be compatible with condoms. Sometime people use other things for lubricants (lotions or baby oil for instance) that are not compatible with the condoms. Get the right sized condoms.

**brunettebabe** · 02-02-2012 09:02 PM

when i lost my virginity it hurt only a little bit. for some people it hurts bad because they have problems down there.

**Firsttimer** · 02-02-2012 09:18 PM

Okay thanks jns! Yeah he has already told me what size condoms he will need.

Oh okay, I wasn't sure if it would hurt for everyone. Hopefully it wont hurt too bad then

I know whenever he would finger me it would be uncomfortable for just like a second for just the first time he would insert his finger completely. And that would happen each time he added another finger but then it was fine.

**LanaBear** · 02-02-2012 09:39 PM

Actually brunettebabe, it's not because they have problems down there that it hurts. It is an individual situation and everybody has a different experience, whether or not they have problems is often times irrelevant.

Firsttimer, make sure you are aroused and wet enough. The lube suggestion from JNS was an excellent one. Try to relax because the more nervous you are, the more tense you will be in that area, it will make it more difficult for him to try to penetrate. Breathe and if it becomes too much than stop. Also, try different positions. Some people would suggest you on top because you can control the penetration more that way. Others say the best position is regular missionary. So, experiment with different positions and find out what is right for you.

**Firsttimer** · 02-03-2012 01:41 AM

Thanks LanaBear! So much good information that I'm getting here

So I actually do get pretty wet, would I still need lubricant? Or could I just buy lubricated condoms? I will definitely do my best to stay as relaxed as possible, and we may try a couple positions if it all goes well

**sp346** · 02-03-2012 12:32 PM

Communication with your partner is a must. Talk with him before hand and let him know that you may have to stop if you find it painful. Just knowing that you have that control will help you relax.

**jns** · 02-03-2012 05:50 PM

firsttimer, you don't want to run out of lubrication part way through having sex. Have the lubricant on standby and be sure to use it if necessary. I doubt that, with your description of being tight, you will have too much lubrication for the first time even if you use lubricated condoms and some bought lubricant. As for the guy, he will be so excited from this being the first time, he won't notice the loss of sensation if you two use too much lubrication.