What's wrong with us?!?

**whitney182** · 02-09-2012 08:25 PM

My husband and I are 24 years old and have been together six years now, married 3. In the last year or so our sex drive has dropped dramatically, both of us. We sometimes go 2 months without having sex. I feel like there's something wrong here and I worry that it will eventually split us up, I seem to be less interested in sex then him, but it's just been the past year, can anyone give me any advice??

**jns** · 02-09-2012 08:41 PM

What are the other circumstances of your relationship and your lives? Stress? Never seeing one another? Children? Fighting? Etc?

**Aeryn Sun** · 02-09-2012 08:42 PM

What has caused the decrease?
Stress?
Workload?
Family life?
Children?
loss of a job
Lack of intimacy?

A combination of the above?

I would think of things not sex related to be a reason in the decrease, before sex related issues being the culprit.
Think back to how life was back when you were happy with your frequency of sex.
Do you need to cut back on personal hobbies? Kick up the spark and suggest the washing machine or kitchen table?

Either way, you should ask him what HE thinks is a good amount of sex per month, and talk to him about what you want and find a middle ground.
Sometimes that means scheduling it (even if he doesn't know you are penciling it in).

**whitney182** · 02-09-2012 09:26 PM

Well we recently made a big change in our lives by moving away after my husband was laid off, we have a lot more stress in our lives lately, I just never realized that could affect our sex life. I'll work on spicing it up a bit and make more time for one another. Thank you!

**Seeker_Advice** · 02-10-2012 05:12 AM

Work on reducing the stress first then work on improving your sex life.

Stress impacts the heart, lungs and brain directly, while impacting many other areas of your life and parts of your body indirectly.

So together, go for a walk everyday, hold hands, talk to each other and not just at each other. Get a massage, mani, pedi...one of the above, two or all three. If money is tight, find a beauty college and get your nails done there. Massage schools may offer massages too.

Fresh air does wonders for the mind, body and spirit. Change of scenery can too. A drive in the country. A walk through the mall. Volunteering...senior center, your place of worship, soup kitchen, rescue mission, homeless shelter, domestic shelter, at a local school.

What are some of the simplest things that put a smile on your face? Do them.

There are so many little things you can do at home, at work, throughout your daily lives to help reduce the stress in your lives.

Less stress = equals more sex...and who doesn't want more sex? Yippee!

**sp346** · 02-10-2012 08:40 AM

Sex is a great stress reliever and during these times of economic difficulty, its free

(besides the cost of protection).

sometimes we just get used to each other and stop trying so hard. I believe that it helps to schedule sex. Spontaneity is nice, but something life gets in the way. I know couples who have a specific day of the week for sex night. They get all excited and ready for that day. Others just mentally take note to make sexual advances to their partner at least every 7 days. It may sound mechanical, but it helps and next thing you know, you will be doing it automatically.