Open Marriages

**Troop** · 02-11-2012 06:20 AM

This has nothing to do with my own marriage, but I was on another board and there were 4-5 women there that stated that they are in an open marriage, where they go out and have sex with other men and their husbands are free to have sex with other women.

I absolutely CANNOT wrap my head around this! WHY?!? What's the point of getting married if you're just going to go have sex with other people. Is this what marriage is now? Saying "Well, I REALLY like you, but.....you're just not enough."

What, is it for tax purposes? Can anyone here explain this to me? I tried on that board and I couldn't get a clear answer.

**Little** · 02-11-2012 09:38 AM

These ladies probably want to live with the person they love, but still have the freedom to have sex with the people they want. So long as they've agreed on it and their spouses know what's going on, what is your issue with consensual sex? This isn't what marriage is "now," this is actually pretty fair when you consider that for many centuries, it was okay for men to have as many mistresses as they could afford while women were expected to be chaste.

This kind of arrangement is definitely not for me, but I don't think other people are bad for doing it.

**JustJux2** · 02-11-2012 09:42 AM

I agree with the woman above. Who are YOU to judge? if the couples involved in an open marriage are happy that's all that matters. Happiness within a relationship is more important than what anyone else may have to say, point blank.

**JustJux2** · 02-11-2012 09:43 AM

I agree with the woman above. Who are YOU to judge? if the couples involved in an open marriage are happy that's all that matters. Happiness within a relationship is more important than what anyone else may have to say, point blank. thats just imho

**Troop** · 02-11-2012 09:57 AM

I'm just saying I don't understand the point of getting MARRIED as opposed to just living together.

**Little** · 02-11-2012 10:16 AM

That's a question for every married couple, not just those in open marriages.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-11-2012 01:17 PM

Troop what is the difference in whether they have a piece of paper that states they are married, or if they live together as one... Both situations are, two people choosing to be together and living together.

I understand that marriage is supposed to be for life right? You choose a partner and that's it, till the day you die, you say your vows and you mean them. I think in today's world, things are alot different, people Divorce and re-marry right? Which goes against that "life commitment made previously", I for one am one of those people. And, I would walk before ever sleeping with someone else, I am a committed person with morals. But, the main think, key, is about two people living together for the rest of their lives yes? So, if they choose to do so, in an open relationship/marriage and they get to die together, in love, happy, then they achieved that "living together for the rest of their life"....

Sometimes rules are broken, sometimes people are different and sometimes things work better, when two people know who they are, what they like or don't like and agree on that...

You can not see everything in black and white..

Whilst you would never sleep with someone else, and nor would your wife, that is choose. How you two choose to live and make the marriage work, that bond of two that becomes one. Everyone has a right to choose, we have one life and one life only as who we are, and so we should live it.

If you believe in the Bible, then maybe there is a problem with sleeping around, but maybe not... As nothing is done behind anyones back and that's the main thing.. It's open... So therefore, no lies, honesty... And, I imagine happiness.

It's choice.

**sp346** · 02-11-2012 02:38 PM

Marriage is a subjective term that is defined by the partners involved, society, law, religion and many other factors. There are many definitions across cultures, religions and countries. Right now in the US, there is a battle going on defining marriage and whether sex/gender needs to be defined within that definition. Each person defines it differently and makes it work (or somethings doesn't). It appears your definition of marriage includes monogomy. That may not be the case for everybody. The level of interactions a married person has with somebody of the opposite sex is also individually defined. There are societies/cutlures where a married woman cannot talk to a man that is not related to them. Even in the US, many married women will not have friendship with a single man because it may seem inappropriate. There are various levels that people are comfortable in interacting with other people. Couples can determine what those limits are.

Sex in the marriage can be sex only with each other, only with each other and masturbation, with each other and inclusion of toys or open marriages. Some find masturbation a type of infidelity. Of course, that definition does apply to everybody. In the same way, open marriages is what those couples have chosen to define their relationship. They enjoy sex with each other but also enjoy the feeling of knowing that your partner is getting something they really enjoy from other people as well.

**Hopeless Dork** · 02-11-2012 03:57 PM

Look at how many married people cheat... its outstanding. And for many of the ppl that don't its a matter of lack of opportunity and many would indulge under the right circumstances (or wrong circumstances) rather, if an opportunity threw itself upon them.

Do I believe in fidelity and monogomy? Yes. Do I think its possible to achieve? Yes. But I don't think its 'marriage' that is the pre-requisite for monogomy. Many ppl living together do not have sex with others, wouldn't dream of it. Many not living together and just in a committed relationship, have no desire to cheat. I just think the idea that they are being open about it makes it less of an issue of cheating, and more of a lifestyle choice.

People can commit their hearts and still believe its okay to share their bodies. I am not one of those people, but whatever floats ppls boats. I just think for people to think marriages are some how less open to other people than non married relationships is reaching.