WAy too tight to have sex, need help

**echoskybound** · 07-20-2007, 10:23 PM

I'm 18 and started trying to use tampons a couple years ago. I had a terrible incident where it got stuck inside me because I didn't realize that I have a THICK septate shaped hymen that had to be surgically removed. Even after the surgery though, I'm still extremely tight and I've been trying for a YEAR to have sex but it starts bleeding and causing extreme pain. My boyfriend and I are to the point where we just try to force it in (and he's an average size, not terribly big or anything) but it even causes him a lot of pain, we've tried a hundred times and it will just not go in. I havn't stretched and it STILL hurts every time, and bleeds frequently. My cervix is extremely narrow, the only thing I can fit is a small beginners tampon. I really need to know how to stretch it out.. any suggestions?

(also.. yes, I get EXTREMELY wet, and I'm not tense at all because I'm very comfortable with my boyfriend, and we've tried every position)

doreennkatha · 07-22-2007, 04:40 AM

Hey, i really empathyse with you and i can imagine yr worry,I personally think that you should consult a doctor or a gyno,,

**Irelandlover** · 07-22-2007, 09:45 AM

First of all - Thinking you are relaxed is different to being completely relaxed. If it hurt, how relaxed can you be not as relaxed as you would be if there was no pain.

Secondly all women are shaped differently have you tried different angles, have you tried pressing your bottom in the bed - this creates a different angle which is quite common for women.

Then have you tried a small vibrator? Something which is not as big as his penis but bigger than an tampon - such as the pocket ones, this will help you feel and be more relaxed, and he may find it fun too.

truelove · 02-27-2009, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irelandlover

First of all - Thinking you are relaxed is different to being completely relaxed. If it hurt, how relaxed can you be not as relaxed as you would be if there was no pain.

Secondly all women are shaped differently have you tried different angles, have you tried pressing your bottom in the bed - this creates a different angle which is quite common for women.

Then have you tried a small vibrator? Something which is not as big as his penis but bigger than an tampon - such as the pocket ones, this will help you feel and be more relaxed, and he may find it fun too.

question, anyone no why i get tighter after everytime we have sex email me at cherylhaslam_22hotmail.com

**WildChild** · 02-28-2009, 12:04 AM

Maybe you need to start with some education and anatomy. He's not entering your cervix - not happening. The cervix is the opening to the uterus, sometimes during intercourse it might get bumped or pushed against, but it's closed pretty tight and a penis of any size isn't going in there. What he is trying to enter is your vagina, at the entrance to which are your labia, above that the mons and your clitoris. There are other parts as well, the more you know the easier this all is.

Two good books to start with would be, Whats Happening to My Body For Girls and The Orgasm Loop. I think if you got these two and read them you would have a much easier time with this. The first explains all the parts and how things work and the second teaches you how to get pleasure out of all that, both on your own and with a partner. You've certainly been persistant and patient. It must be very frustrating for both of you. Get these books and see what happens

ritengo · 02-28-2009, 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doreennkatha

Hey, i really empathyse with you and i can imagine yr worry,I personally think that you should consult a doctor or a gyno,,

I agree.

**Iseulda** · 02-28-2009, 03:01 AM

I'm also for seeing a Gyno - sounds to me like you have vaginismus.

Quote:

Vaginismus (the Latin equivalent of the word Vaginism) is a condition which affects a woman's ability to engage in any form of vaginal penetration, including sexual penetration, insertion of tampons, and the penetration involved in gynecological examinations. This is the result of a conditioned reflex of the pubococcygeus muscle, which is sometimes referred to as the "PC muscle". The reflex causes the muscles in the vagina to tense suddenly, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration—including sexual penetration—either painful or impossible.

From the wiki - if you do a search you will find many resources.

07-20-2007, 10:23 PM	#1
echoskybound VIP Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Baltimore Posts: 90	WAy too tight to have sex, need help I'm 18 and started trying to use tampons a couple years ago. I had a terrible incident where it got stuck inside me because I didn't realize that I have a THICK septate shaped hymen that had to be surgically removed. Even after the surgery though, I'm still extremely tight and I've been trying for a YEAR to have sex but it starts bleeding and causing extreme pain. My boyfriend and I are to the point where we just try to force it in (and he's an average size, not terribly big or anything) but it even causes him a lot of pain, we've tried a hundred times and it will just not go in. I havn't stretched and it STILL hurts every time, and bleeds frequently. My cervix is extremely narrow, the only thing I can fit is a small beginners tampon. I really need to know how to stretch it out.. any suggestions? (also.. yes, I get EXTREMELY wet, and I'm not tense at all because I'm very comfortable with my boyfriend, and we've tried every position) Last edited by echoskybound; 07-20-2007 at 10:57 PM.

07-22-2007, 04:40 AM	#2
doreennkatha Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1	Sorry Gal Hey, i really empathyse with you and i can imagine yr worry,I personally think that you should consult a doctor or a gyno,,

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07-22-2007, 09:45 AM	#3
Irelandlover Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 109	First of all - Thinking you are relaxed is different to being completely relaxed. If it hurt, how relaxed can you be not as relaxed as you would be if there was no pain. Secondly all women are shaped differently have you tried different angles, have you tried pressing your bottom in the bed - this creates a different angle which is quite common for women. Then have you tried a small vibrator? Something which is not as big as his penis but bigger than an tampon - such as the pocket ones, this will help you feel and be more relaxed, and he may find it fun too.

02-28-2009, 12:04 AM	#5
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,233 Blog Entries: 5	Maybe you need to start with some education and anatomy. He's not entering your cervix - not happening. The cervix is the opening to the uterus, sometimes during intercourse it might get bumped or pushed against, but it's closed pretty tight and a penis of any size isn't going in there. What he is trying to enter is your vagina, at the entrance to which are your labia, above that the mons and your clitoris. There are other parts as well, the more you know the easier this all is. Two good books to start with would be, Whats Happening to My Body For Girls and The Orgasm Loop. I think if you got these two and read them you would have a much easier time with this. The first explains all the parts and how things work and the second teaches you how to get pleasure out of all that, both on your own and with a partner. You've certainly been persistant and patient. It must be very frustrating for both of you. Get these books and see what happens