Thread: Why do men have to look at porn? Do they all do it?

I have a serious problem with porn due to my past. I think porn is disgusting and that woman who can show themselves to the world need help. I feel like I am not good enough for my boyfriend because he looks at it. I feel that those girls are perfect because most are pretty, have perfect bodies, etc. Why do men need to look at porn if they have somebody in their life to satisfy them sexually? He tells me I shouldnt feel that way because he doesnt compare me to any of them. I ask him what is so great about it and he cant answer that. He says he needs to look at it so that he doesnt go looking for sex from somebody else. He told me that he wouldnt bring it around me and I accepted that. Well, I went in the bathroom tonight and saw that he had bought a magazine. Now I feel like he doesnt respect me as far as that goes. I was so angry that I tore the magazine to shreds and threw it away. I am young and I dont understand as I have only been through a few relationships. Do all men look at porn? I am so frustrated! I dont get it.

I am so sick of all this porn stuff. T_T Please read all porn thingies we have on the site.

well people have feelings and sometimes they get hurt or bothered! If you are bothered by it then dont look at the threads that have something to do with porn. if you put a thread up because you want advice or something you are going to look for the advice instead of having somebody tell you that there are other threads about porn and that they are annoyed.....

...That was my waying of telling you that your question could have been answered if you just looked around the forum first. I'm not bothered by the porn threads. I just think they're all blown out and overused.

Plus, this topic is in the wrong subforum anyway. Again, check out the other porn threads.

no iam not shocked or in awh. ive ben married 17 years .early in my mariage it use to bug me alot.now it dont bother me quite as much.relation ships are give and take.the way i see it is ,you love your boy friend and it hutrs your feelings wen he looks at porn,you want to give him what the girls in the mags are givung him.that is a natural feeling i do understand.a possable concusion could be he loves you and likes to make love to you and not just have sex.also at some point men tend to get distant to protect thier feelings.love can be scary.they alos can have overwelming sex drive.this realy can be fustating not only to you but to them as well.they need relief so to speek. iam imprest that he told you the truth about the porn.he sounds like an honest man that is good.now as far as distroying the magasine perfectly understuid.but that will just distance you both.dig deep and try to aceppt his porn the best you can.some times we are realy upset because we cant acept our partner for who they are. i would rather thare be no porn in the world but ist out thare thats life have to deal with it.id pick love over porn any day

Originally Posted by ohpuppynuggets

dig deep and try to aceppt his porn the best you can.some times we are realy upset because we cant acept our partner for who they are.

only dig deep to accept his porn if you feel that porn is good for him. there is a line between accepting someone for who they are & ignoring destructive habits that threaten to harm them.

Ambi, this is a post I just wrote for another site, since I have issues with it too. I hope it helps you.


I think that men don't realize that porn is like a drug. Unlike buying shoes, make up, and clothes-which are all OBJECTS! Buying porn is pretty simple, when I look at this issue I think-wow! Women are objects too? When you read the studies and research made about this "problem" it gives you a good insight about the man's priorities. >>
I don't agree with the cop out saying that it's because men have a higher sex drive, women do too, me included-but I don't need to watch or buy things to satisfy my urges, if people buy it because of the fantasy idea-then get a journal and write about the things that turn you on or something, and if fantasy is the goal-let your partner in on that and fantasize together. Intimacy, anyone? I feel that no woman should put up with something so unreal. If I ever have children, I wouldn't want my daughter to feel that she's not enough to have a respectful and healthy relationship with a man. Porn is a lie, about women, human relationships and dynamics. It is degrading to everybody involved because it doesn't teach anything and it addresses issues of power and submission. It dehumanizes the other person, the relationship, and ANY intimacy. >>
I hope this helps some of the women who posted that they don't know what to do because their boyfriends are into it. And I am glad that not all men are that way-and there are some real ones out there somewhere, and I still hope to find him. Recently, my sister's boyfriend opposed to going to his brother's bachelors party. She and I were upset because we felt that he needed to be there for his brother. When we got to his apartment and saw him changing the water on his fish tank and asked him what he thought he was doing, not going to be there for his brother he responded, "They were going to a strip club, and once men go to one, that's all they want to do for the rest of the night. I didn't want any part on it, I don't want to watch women for hours and hours doing whatever they are doing, I rather spend the night by your side." Beautiful, isn't? I realized then, that I would want the same type of respect towards me from a man. That I deserve to have that too, because I have never needed to watch someone else to find satisfaction when in a relationship, instead I would fantasize about my boyfriend and the naughty things we could do to each other and together.

Not all men look at porn, some are even against it. My boyfriend doesn't look at it, but he's not a very horny person either.

If he did look at porn I would be offended. I don't like porn because it makes women out to be objects to look at, for sex. I have reason to believe this because of a boy I used to know - he used to be my boyfriends best friend, and when he started going out with me, this 'friend' would try touching me and taking pictures of my body. He now surrounds himself with girls. He doesn't even treat us normally - he talks to us like we're 5 year olds!

I personally don't understand the point in porn, what's wrong with just looking at your wife or girlfriend? What's wrong with waiting until you've got a girlfriend who wants to share her body with you?

I don't know... this whole thing just confuses me...

Originally Posted by Mari

Ambi, this is a post I just wrote for another site, since I have issues with it too. I hope it helps you.


I think that men don't realize that porn is like a drug. Unlike buying shoes, make up, and clothes-which are all OBJECTS! Buying porn is pretty simple, when I look at this issue I think-wow! Women are objects too? When you read the studies and research made about this "problem" it gives you a good insight about the man's priorities. >>
I don't agree with the cop out saying that it's because men have a higher sex drive, women do too, me included-but I don't need to watch or buy things to satisfy my urges, if people buy it because of the fantasy idea-then get a journal and write about the things that turn you on or something, and if fantasy is the goal-let your partner in on that and fantasize together. Intimacy, anyone? I feel that no woman should put up with something so unreal. If I ever have children, I wouldn't want my daughter to feel that she's not enough to have a respectful and healthy relationship with a man. Porn is a lie, about women, human relationships and dynamics. It is degrading to everybody involved because it doesn't teach anything and it addresses issues of power and submission. It dehumanizes the other person, the relationship, and ANY intimacy. >>
I hope this helps some of the women who posted that they don't know what to do because their boyfriends are into it. And I am glad that not all men are that way-and there are some real ones out there somewhere, and I still hope to find him. Recently, my sister's boyfriend opposed to going to his brother's bachelors party. She and I were upset because we felt that he needed to be there for his brother. When we got to his apartment and saw him changing the water on his fish tank and asked him what he thought he was doing, not going to be there for his brother he responded, "They were going to a strip club, and once men go to one, that's all they want to do for the rest of the night. I didn't want any part on it, I don't want to watch women for hours and hours doing whatever they are doing, I rather spend the night by your side." Beautiful, isn't? I realized then, that I would want the same type of respect towards me from a man. That I deserve to have that too, because I have never needed to watch someone else to find satisfaction when in a relationship, instead I would fantasize about my boyfriend and the naughty things we could do to each other and together.

Oh my gosh! You are perfectly right! Yes, that's how I see it, but I couldn't really explain it myself. Thank you for posting this comment!