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Thread: question about vaginal lubrication

  1. #1
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    Default question about vaginal lubrication


    For those men who have average sized or slightly below average sized penises...can we get away with penetrating with relatively less lubrication? Or does it not really matter on the size and you ladies wish to be pretty wet down there before anything really begins?

    Just want to know for future reference.

    Also, how long does it take for you to get wet enough to where you are ready for penetration to occur?

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    It's not so much about lubrication for me as it is physical arousal. Blood flow to all levels of the vulva and vagina, and it's usually a gradual process (outer parts are ready before inner, natch.) Depending on where I am in my cycle, physical arousal could look like dripping or just slightly damp. I guess a smaller guy could "get it in" completely faster than a larger one, just because he wouldn't need the arousal to go as deep.

    Caveat, it's probably physically possible to get in there, arousal and lubrication or not, but it would hurt me, probably to the point where the sex would have to stop and begin at the beginning again ... later. Which I don't think you're going for in your future situations.
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    APRIL 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array ItsASecret's Avatar
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    Women are raped without arousal so to put it bluntly yes it could fit. It will rip and tear her apart but it can fit in there without being aroused.

    However if you are a decent man you would not do what I just said lol. Getting wet is one thing it is another to actually have the muscles relaxed enough to have him slide in. It is not simply slap a bunch of lube from a bottle on there and go at it, he may need to use his finger(s) at first inside her to loosen up the muscles. It is the muscles loosening up that is important in not hurting her not necessarily how slippery things are down there. Not saying he must use his fingers but for some women they need that little bit of work at first just so that the vaginal muscles are loosened and relaxed making penetration much easier. If you are hoping for little to no work on getting her aroused for sex then I would suggest you hold off on sex altogether until you know what you may want to try, a guy just pounding away for his pleasure while disregarding her state of arousal is not fun.

    As for time for arousal if you ask 10 women you are going to get 10 different answers. We do not have a magic switch or button that automatically puts us in arousal mood or wet with lubrication so avoid that common thought error that many men have. Some women all they need is a brush of the arm to know he wants sex and she may get instantly aroused by it, other women may need to be wooed hours before with sweet mentions, knowing she has no stress around the house (maybe feed the kids or send them to school so she does not have to type things), maybe she likes a romantic dinner before hand to get her in the mood. Certain women need to have a lot of lube going and his fingers being used for 10 minutes or more just to get her vaginal muscles to relax before sex. It is always different for each woman so never assume that the way one woman reacts is how another will.
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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array shoshannah's Avatar
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    My boyfriend has entered me a few times before I was quite wet enough and it was unpleasant for both of us. I don' think size has anything to do with it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ItsASecret View Post

    However if you are a decent man you would not do what I just said lol. Getting wet is one thing it is another to actually have the muscles relaxed enough to have him slide in. It is not simply slap a bunch of lube from a bottle on there and go at it, he may need to use his finger(s) at first inside her to loosen up the muscles. It is the muscles loosening up that is important in not hurting her not necessarily how slippery things are down there. Not saying he must use his fingers but for some women they need that little bit of work at first just so that the vaginal muscles are loosened and relaxed making penetration much easier. If you are hoping for little to no work on getting her aroused for sex then I would suggest you hold off on sex altogether until you know what you may want to try, a guy just pounding away for his pleasure while disregarding her state of arousal is not fun.
    Huh...did not know that. I had assumed lubrication and muscle relaxation went hand in hand. Boy, that really makes a man's arousal seem so much simpler, easier, and quicker. Good thing too, otherwise what guy has the time to wait 15 mins just to get a hard on to jerk off with, lol? This must explain why men masturbate so much more than women.

    As for time for arousal if you ask 10 women you are going to get 10 different answers. We do not have a magic switch or button that automatically puts us in arousal mood or wet with lubrication so avoid that common thought error that many men have. Some women all they need is a brush of the arm to know he wants sex and she may get instantly aroused by it, other women may need to be wooed hours before with sweet mentions, knowing she has no stress around the house (maybe feed the kids or send them to school so she does not have to type things), maybe she likes a romantic dinner before hand to get her in the mood. Certain women need to have a lot of lube going and his fingers being used for 10 minutes or more just to get her vaginal muscles to relax before sex. It is always different for each woman so never assume that the way one woman reacts is how another will.
    So some men really have to work for it! Also good to know.

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    APRIL 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array ItsASecret's Avatar
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    I had assumed lubrication and muscle relaxation went hand in hand. Boy, that really makes a man's arousal seem so much simpler, easier, and quicker. Good thing too, otherwise what guy has the time to wait 15 mins just to get a hard on to jerk off with, lol? This must explain why men masturbate so much more than women
    Yeah and that is the common male assumption. It is completely false though. Lubrication does not mean muscle relaxation. For some women who are more toned down there from doing kegals they can already have muscles that are ready to accommodate a penis without any "work" to strethc out but for others who do not have muscles that immediately respond to touch in a relaxation manner it can take awhile to loosen up. Biologically a man is supposed to be immediately aroused as in the animal kingdom he has to try and do as many females as he can as quick as he can lol. That is the general basis for instant male arousal.


    So some men really have to work for it! Also good to know.
    The ones that do work for it are showing that they care. There are men who do not care and think that woman are like them, instant arousal and if they are not instantly aroused something is wrong or they keep pumping away with no care for her pleasure. Those men are misinformed, impatient, and selfish. But again all women are different and each time you have sex it will come with different likes and dislikes so it is always key to ask your partner what works for them or ask if things feel good and so forth to show you care about their pleasure as well.
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