Thread: BF addicted to porn

Originally Posted by whilhelm

can i ask - without meaning to cause you any additional pain - how did he respond after it was over? was he defensive? apologetic? did you confront him right then? when he was sober?

Hey Wilhelm-
WOW! This cursor has been blinking at me for a minute now. Any additional pain I might feel would still be at the door step of the one, my rapist, whom without his original act this would not even be an issue. To answer your question, he was very angry, it seemed to be directed at me, which I was baffled by. He got up and got dressed and left without a word. No, I did not confront him then as I was strangely very lathargic, I felt outside of myself, dazed, but I was still crying. I remember how my tears seemed to cut a path down my face and drip like hot rain drops on my chest. I knew I was bleeding because I could feel this wet warmth and a glance at the sheets confirmed it. I remember getting in the tub but not so much drawing the bath water. I remember a stinging sensation as I lowered myself in the water and then watching this these traces of red swirls in the water as I sat there. The swirls quickly became more red with just traces of water, then just red. It hurt to sit. I let the water out and I took a shower and I could not wash it/him off of me. I tried, I tried until the water ran cold. I stayed in the next day. I also confronted him via the telephone and to my knowledge he was sober at that time. I told him he had torn me BAD (in more ways than one)! His attitude was beligerent/angry. Then I head on stated his lack of remorse at which time he said, "I SAID I WAS SORRY!" in a nasty tone. But he had not said he was sorry until he offered up that less than sincere outburst. Some sporadic calls with atempts to act as if we were still copesetic and as if it never happened came for a few days, at first it was just awkward dead silence especially on my end, I quickly resorted to screening all my calls. One day I just answered the phone and told him my silence and avoidance of you should speak volumes take the cue, leave me alone, move on. To which he replied that he had already deleted me from his phone. I asked, "Then why are you calling me?" and hung up. I did not hear from him again until Wednesday last week. He showed up unannounced and uninvited. I was expecting it to be perhaps one of my girlfriends or my brother. My son still does not know what happened so he had no clue to give me a warning or turn him away. So I instructed my son send whoever it was to the master suite where I was just finishing putting away the laundry. I sat down on the side of my bed and when I looked up and saw him standing there at the foot of my bed. Words can not desribe it. The balls of this man. His sorry a*s said some **/% - up ****** sh*t. I asked if that was all he had to say, he said yes. I called for my son and when he came I instructed my son to escort him to the door. He said, "Okay then" and left. I felt empowered and in control on many levels for the frist time in quite a while. Please forgive my language, but it is what it is, and it's what I felt and thought.

Originally Posted by anonymouswhitefemale

That is a truly awful and uncondonable violation.

He is a piece of ****.




However I believe it is too far to claim that pornography was the reason. Would you blame a murder on a computer game or film? People are responsible for their own actions, and he was in control of his own actions. This is something that was in him before he watched porn, and if the porn did have any effect at all, it was just to bring his... issue... to the surface.

You have my deepest sympathies. If I were you I'd pay a couple of big guys to catch him in a back alley and ram a massive dildo up his arse...

anonymouswhitefemale-
I thank you for your deepest sympathies. However, I laid no such claims that either pornography and/or alcohol was the reason. As adults we are all responsible for our own actions. I know and it can not be denied that those things were contributing factors in his behavior. Education aside my empirical experience and knowledge can not be denied, not for me. I know what I know and it is what it is. Pornography or any visual and/or auditory stimulus can effect anyone. Not everyone reacts the same way to everything. Even the same emotion evoked may have a different level of intensity. It can be a very dangerous thing to relegate an entire group of people into a caterglory. No one person can speak for his/her entire sex, race, or culture. Just because something may or may not affect you does not mean that's how every person on this planet is subject to respond, the way you do, or feel the way you feel. I'm not really that comfortable exchanging with you and that's my issue I'm sure. But to hear this from a man, no less, right now just is not what I care to experience. I don't have it in me nor do I have the desire to debate this issue with you. If you don't agree graciously agree to disagree and LET IT GO! At least with me. Thanks.