Thread: Need the lady's input - Lack of desire from wife ...

Originally Posted by oldnotdead

To the O.P.
>
>You could be my husband, I could be your wife. Your post mirrors my life. Why did I not want sex? After 2 children I was fat, ashamed of my body, tired, felt sex was "dirty' now that I had become a mother and sleep was a godsend I never got enough of . I also had severe PPD which went undiagnosed untill I started crying 24/7 and went down to 114lbs (I am 5'11") Things got worse, he cheated, (with a friend of mine) and now I go through every day with regret and trying to figure out how to end it all without my kids knowing I committed suicide.
>
>It had nothing to do with my husband. He is very handsome, and until the children came we had a super sex life.
>
>If your wife won't see a doctor or therapist , please, I beg you, file for divorce, don't cheat.
>
>I am dead on the inside because of it. I would have rather he left me.
>
>I hope the two of you can work your problems out. Show her this thread if you can't talk to her in person.

Honey, find yourself again. Don't let this ruin your life. Go back to yesterday with your husband. Your story is the story of so many marriages. Regret. We have no training on how to be a sexual woman. It is something that we are just supposed to know.

My husband has been sought after by many women but I just found it out about 6 months ago. I know that he never met the one that was waiting for him naked in a big hotel in town. She was a big business woman from two States that wanted him. Until I found this out I was not able to open my eyes to the pain that women go through. But like your husband, mine is hot. Stud, jock, great looking and a pensonality that would make a woman drop her clothes just like that. I know I do it all the time. So forget that other woman. Get her out of your bed. Find that hot sexual woman that you want to be inside. Sex is the most undirty and erotic thing in the world. Become his Porn Queen. Show that other woman what a hot babe you are. Kick her out of your house and just find that man and drive him wild......Do it and find yourself again....I wrote of my near affair and I may find it and bring it forward together with the blog I wrote trying to get past it. It was rough. I know he never went and f*cked her but what if he did? I sure would not give him up. I would still love him to death.....Now love yourself and love him....

When a woman has a baby she feels VERY unattractive!!!!! Her boobs hurt. Her body is flabby, she's sleep deprived and if she's breast feeding her body is not hers. Her body has not been her body for the 9 months that she was pregnant and now another year if she breast feeds. Imagine if you had no control over your body for almost 2 years and your hormones were throwing you off whack. Imagine that your body was not what you had before and your body is at beckon call all day. And at night when you can finally relax your husband wants a "piece" of it too. It's hard for a woman to gain weight and get stretch marks and know that your body will never be the same after you have a baby.. ( I love my kids and I think it's all worth it - but it's still very hard. ) especially when you know men are very visual. I am 5'7" blonde, green eyes and attractive. I know it's also hard for the man. I think some men feel jealous of the time the wife spends with the baby and he needs attention too. If she is giving you a sympathetic F*** I would accept that until the meantime when she will slowly feel attractive and sexy again.. It might take another year. Good luck! Sounds like you are doing a good job with helping her out. It just takes time and it should get better.

Oldnotdead: Your children need you more than ever! My father had an affair and left my mom with the four kids. My mom held prescription drugs in her hand ready to take her life and would cry constantly. Thank god she never took her life - she lived for us and she lived for her. If she committed suicide my brother, sisters, and I would have been orphaned. Your kids will be angry with their father cheating on you but they will get passed it. They will never get passed living a life without their mom.