Thread: Have you (women) had an orgasm in your life ?

[quote=Nightelf;19117]So this leads us to door number three. Absolutely mind blowing, earth shattering sex. This is only why I think it is like this for me, personally, but we have an incredible bond, I am very deeply madly in love and after nearly two years the sex is getting better and better.]



I have searched the internet high and low for an explanation on what you have describe in your message and today I came across what you wrote. I have been married for almost 7yrs. My wife and I have a wonderful relationship and our sex life is great. But great is not good enough for me. I want to please my wife in the way she deserves. Basically I am looking for a trigger. My wife is not easiest woman in the world to bring to a climactic state of an orgasm. I do very well at getting her to one but it is the 2 or 3 that I have only once been able to accomplish. She recently told me that her only desire it that mind blow sex that has her going 2 or 3 times. Understand that the mouth is a powerful tool and with it anything is possible but we want to share the experience together from within. I am a firm believer that sex for women is just as much physical as it is emotional. I believe that I have done everything I can do physically but it is more on the emotional that I was hoping you could help me understand. I guess I am asking is personally, what you are thinking about before and during sex, which heightens your arousal so far that can bring you to the state of multiple orgasms?

Thats a hard question to answer.

I think the women has to let go, any kind of negative thought is enough to block it.

I use my hands to caress a womens body for a long time, no cunnilingus just caressing for a long time, the caressing I do is very gentle, imagine your hangs are like the wings of butterfly, that will give you an idea of how gentle you need to be.

Lights out - women are inhibited to a certain extent, you know, too fat, too thin, fat ***, strech marks, they worry about things like that and while they are doing that they are not relaxed.

So basically you have to understand their mind, because that is the key to unlock a womens ability to have an orgasm.

I don't think there really is such a thing as multi orgasmic, its just a continuation of the same orgasm.

If you can learn to kiss a women ever so gently, and caress them the same way, and never think about your own needs - only their needs.

Also wait until a women ovulates, thats usually when they are horniest.

Never have sex when you are tired (physically or mentally).

You can try too hard, trying too hard negates the likly hood that she will have an orgasm.

Things that I think effect whether a women will have an orgasm or not.

turn the light out.

time of the month.

girlfriends that had an orgasm mostly had a body that they were happy with.

maybe a little wine not sure ??

some women are not so anxious they can just let go.

I think if a women can have an orgasm by masturbation probably they have a higher chance of having an orgasm.

If a women has been raped, interfered with or some how brainwashed by religion or ... you may never be able to achieve it, I could be wrong and I hope I am.

I think the relationship with the parents and also the parents attitude to sex could also be a factor.

I hope this helps.

Inlovagin, I wish I could pin point what it is that has made this incredible sex possible for me. We havent even started exploring many positions or places or toys yet because I am just so completely and totally satisfied. I remember being the girl in tears at the gynae because I didnt know what was wrong with me, the sex was just so horrific.
I pride myself on being "in touch" with myself and what I like. And I try to be very good about communicating that to my SO. It is very hard to tell someone something your dont know yourself, however. And the more we have great sex, the easier it becomes.
When I am not with him I try to think about things that he does for me that I really enjoy. That helps get me in the mood. At home we are very open with each other, very affectionate and most of the time the affection is not sexual but I have had to understand that often it is. Not that he wants to have sex immediately but it is the build up to am encounter that could happen tomorrow. So there is a constant desire level maintained. As I have said before, we dont have kids and we really spend a lot of time together so it is easier to keep playing off each other.
When we first started having sex it is good but not mind blowing like it is now, so it is something that we have worked towards.

Originally Posted by Nightelf

Inlovagin, I wish I could pin point what it is that has made this incredible sex possible for me. We havent even started exploring many positions or places or toys yet because I am just so completely and totally satisfied. I remember being the girl in tears at the gynae because I didnt know what was wrong with me, the sex was just so horrific.
I pride myself on being "in touch" with myself and what I like. And I try to be very good about communicating that to my SO. It is very hard to tell someone something your dont know yourself, however. And the more we have great sex, the easier it becomes.
When I am not with him I try to think about things that he does for me that I really enjoy. That helps get me in the mood. At home we are very open with each other, very affectionate and most of the time the affection is not sexual but I have had to understand that often it is. Not that he wants to have sex immediately but it is the build up to am encounter that could happen tomorrow. So there is a constant desire level maintained. As I have said before, we dont have kids and we really spend a lot of time together so it is easier to keep playing off each other.
When we first started having sex it is good but not mind blowing like it is now, so it is something that we have worked towards.

I'm curious to know what exactly it is that turns a women on, how long does one need to achieve orgasm, and what is blocking orgasm for most women ?

I think it is poor body image, this seems to be the psychological reason why women have a hard time getting to those elevated heights.

Please any women tell me how long it took for you to achieve orgasm.

In my partners case it was around 9+ hours, probably less than that but I don't know exactly when she orgasmed and how long the orgasm lasted for or exactly what time we started.

With oral sex, it can take me a long time. Well, I consider 30-45 minutes a long time to be down there licking!
With vaginal sex (before the big, bad birth control pill came in and stole my lubrication and all my fun,) it doesn't take long at all. Ten minutes, tops.
But I've only ever achieved orgasm with my boyfriend. The kind of orgasm you're raving about, anyways. I don't really achieve orgasm through masturbation, but I also don't finger myself during masturbation.
My boyfriend and I are so in tune; I think he's attractive all over and I am comfortable with myself around him. Lights absolutely on; I want to see his handsome face and body. He's willing to do anything I want; he's willing to stop when I want or just wait a minute or just cuddle whenever I say. He tells me he loves me before, during, after sex, and always has his actions match his words.
All the things you talked about, GentileBen, he does, though perhaps I'm not as difficult to rev up as the woman you described (I'm still young, I guess.) So you've got the right idea in my book Good luck!

Originally Posted by Little

With oral sex, it can take me a long time. Well, I consider 30-45 minutes a long time to be down there licking!
With vaginal sex (before the big, bad birth control pill came in and stole my lubrication and all my fun,) it doesn't take long at all. Ten minutes, tops.
But I've only ever achieved orgasm with my boyfriend. The kind of orgasm you're raving about, anyways. I don't really achieve orgasm through masturbation, but I also don't finger myself during masturbation.
My boyfriend and I are so in tune; I think he's attractive all over and I am comfortable with myself around him. Lights absolutely on; I want to see his handsome face and body. He's willing to do anything I want; he's willing to stop when I want or just wait a minute or just cuddle whenever I say. He tells me he loves me before, during, after sex, and always has his actions match his words.
All the things you talked about, GentileBen, he does, though perhaps I'm not as difficult to rev up as the woman you described (I'm still young, I guess.) So you've got the right idea in my book Good luck!

Wow, he licks your vulva for 30 ~45 minutes does his tongue get tired ?

Are you saying you can have a very intense orgasm in ten minutes ?

I have this theory that the longer you can prolong the foreplay the better the orgasm.

That I think is what causes the orgasm to be so intense, I could be wrong though, because it has only ever happend to one partner its difficult to know.

When you are young you are less inhibited, but of course that depends on the individual.

So in that situation maybe you can have the light on, and not feel vulnerable.

And maybe it doesn't affect your ability to orgasm.

I think you are fortunate if you can find a guy that cares enough about you, I'm sure they are rare.

Well its sounds like you don't have any real issues regarding sex, It would be a relief to meet someone that could just let go.

I would like to experience an orgasm with a women again of the same intensity that I once experienced when I was younger and not have the worry about my partner experiencing orgasmic cephalgia.

I'm not one that believes in luck !