Thread: can't orgasm anymore

Hi ladies. This is my first post here. I'm 38, never been married and am a virgin. I've always been very alive sexually and looked forward tremendously to having a husband and sex etc. Last year, in an attempt to enlarge my nipples (i've always been trying desperately to enlarge my breasts etc, because I feared my lack of ability to find a husband was related to this inadequacy), I suctioned my nipples and it had the effect of lactation-my breasts have sagged a bit and are no longer perky as they used to be. As a terrible result, I can no longer orgasm. I used to have orgasms frequently during the nights and without fail in the morning. They were tremendous and highly satisfying. I believe the reason I no longer orgasm is because my breasts no longer swell as they used to during arousal-this sensation was almost akin to having two erections on my chest and created the best orgasms imaginable. But now that is no more. It has been a very difficult year adjusting. I am devastated that i have lost this ability to orgasm before i managed to find a partner. It has negatively affected my overall health. I have been seeing a sex therapist all this time, but he doesn't understand and I am getting very disturbed. Has anyone else who has breastfed experienced this? any advice from anyone? I am very scared I will never be able to orgasm again. Thanks so much.

I think for the most part not being able to orgasm is in your mind because you no longer feel that ur breast are sexy. Maybe you should look at your body in a postive way first and focus on other parts while becoming aroused and then gradualy move back to ur breast. Also I breast feed and there was no side effects and i luv nipple stimulation, which aslo makes me think u do too, so it might be in your mind why u cant orgasm.

Thanks Jen, for you kind response. As a whole, I am happy with my body and realize my breasts were perfect before i messed them up. I have tried to tell myself it is in my mind, but it doesn't seem to be so because the morning after I did this to myself, I remember awakening and wondering what was wrong for I wasn't orgasming as I usually had every morning for years. It couldn't have been in my mind for I wasn't expecting this result-and it has remained this way since. Also, I can no longer get lubricated since this happened-I am always bone dry. This is really worrisome. Also- I used to have tremendous sensation in my nipples-but now almost none. I wonder if I didn't damage some nerves in the process.

I dont think damaging any of ur nerves in ur breast would affect ur vagina, do you use toys or watch porn, also how long ago did this happen with ur breast?

This occured a year and one month ago. I try watching porn and various other sources of erotica, but nothing is the same anymore. It used to be that i felt electric currents of warmth and life energy flowing all over my body during these nightly and early morning orgasms, flowing between my breasts down to my genitals and I knew I was orgasming for I was flushed all over every morning and felt well, primed to have sex, and ready to take on the world. Now in the mornings I feel only dull and headachy. Every night I tell myself it is all my imagination;in the morning I will be my old self again. Alas, in vain. Since I was able to orgasm so frequently, it made me feel very sexy and I had a high libido, but now my interest in sex has almost disappeared. It's a shock to me, because I couldn't wait to be able to share this gift I had with a precious person-and I've had a terribly, agonizingly long wait.

I think prat of the problem is that you are putting so much importance on your routine. Women's body's and hormones are very complicated and assuming that you can have an orgasm every single evening and morning for life is a lot of pressure to put on yourself. Our body's are constantly changing and adapting to our lives, our diet, stress levels...all kinds of things.

I think it would help if you just let it go and didn't worry about getting off twice a day. The more you worry about why you can't the harder it is going to be to get it back.

Just my opinion, but I think you need to relax.

I agree with sourpuss, also once you find that person and have sex more then likely you will experience more satisfaction and pleasure having another person there to explore your body with you for the first time will be more than a reward for you that person. Maybe you should just relax and not focus on being sexual for a while to see how you feel. Go out with friends or date with no strings attach just to see how ur body responds to a male presence.

Thanks Jenflem and Sourpuss, for your thoughtful input. I guess there is nothing for it but to try to relax and let go of all the fears and worries. Best wishes to you!