Thread: HELP~Confident but GOES LIMP?!?!

I've been dating this guy for a little over a month. We are comfortable together, he is extremely affectionate, and seems really confident. We both been holding back from having sex, Me, partly because I didn't want to rush anything and everyone knows sex changes everything. He has wanted to, but agreed that it was probably a good thing and with his feelings and all towards me, he wanted it to really be right. So Finally the other night we decided to have sex....right in the beginning, for about a minute or so, it was Fine but then he started to go limp!!! I have never had that happened to me, and he wanted to keep going but there really wasn't much to keep going with so I stopped. He got embarrassed and then started getting a little frustrated with me, because I didn't know what to think or say. He tells me that this always happens to him right at first(and the reason he NEVER has had a one night stand) and just to give him a little time and it will go away! He is the one who seemed to want it so bad, and then we do and this is how it ends up!?! I'm just used to confident guys, especially in the bedroom, and I'm pretty confident as well to. I don't want to end it or anything but does this mean we are going to have a bad sex life if we stayed together, and what if this happens to him all the time and not just in the beginning??? THANKS anyone for any kind of advice!!!

The only way you can find out if this is what will happen continually ... is if you try continually.
Just think, what if he was too big and harming you during sex, and you needed time to get used to him? Wouldn't you want that sort of time and consideration?
He could have a condition, maybe ED or just an anxiety problem where even though it seems irrational, he's got anxiety about "performing" and "pleasing" you.
If you've waited to make sure that you've got strong feelings for him, shouldn't those strong feelings be able to wait out a little problem, so long as it is just as he says, something only in the beginning?
Good luck.

This happened to me the 3rd night I dated my wife. It was weird, don't know what happened but for 20 years there has been no lack limp action but she has lost most interest and it is killing our situation and I think she knows it.

It happens to all guys one time or another, and he recognizes that its an issue for him, so it was probably really really nerve-wracking for him to even try. I think he's got guts! You know, maybe it happened to him one time and he concentrated on it so much that its always happened after - kind of a mind-over-matter thing.

Give it another try. If you really like him and are attracted to him, the sparks will eventually start a fire instead of fizzling out.

Its okay that you both got frustrated also... its a big deal, you want it to go right, etc., and then no lift-off. It is awkward, no matter what anyone says, you're both feeling sorry for yourselves and each other.

Make light of it, initiate the next round, and let us know how it goes.

Soooo YAY! Its been so much better, and the limp part hasn't happened again. Hopefully, we're both in the clear! ~thanks you all

Yay for good sex!! So happy for you both!! Go get it on, girl!!