Thread: Advise/ideas on dirty talk

Guys and gals I need some tips/advice on how to be a dirty talker. My s/o and I were recently in a conversation about what we would like to have added or try in our bedroom activities and he said that he would like for me to maybe add some dirty talk to our activities. I've never been on to speak at all during sex however you do know when I'm satisfied by the moans. Really I wouldn't know what to say and I think I would feel silly. Where do I begin?

First of all, sex to some degree is supposed to be silly!! Dirty talk isn't something that comes natural if you haven't done it yet. My hubby and I are big-time dirty talkers, but we built up to it. As a matter of fact, I never knew I liked it until we had been having sex for a little while! I don't remember how it started, but too bad for all my old boyfriends!

I understand you're nervous about starting it. At first you must be thinking, what do I say? When do I say it? Do I say it now? Now? Now?

What you can do is, start off asking questions to him. Like, you can give him oral, and when he starts to respond - a moan, or a move in position, you can ask, "Do you like that?" But not wimpy, as in "is that alright", but a little sexy, as in, "oh yea, you like that, dontcha?" in your tone. See how he responds. Then what you say next can be based on what he says. If he only says, "yes", that's okay - you can say "Tell me how much," or stop what you're doing and say, "Do you want more?" and take it from there. If he says "yes" again, you can say to him, "Then say please." Something to that effect. If you start talking to each other by using words that aren't sexually explicit, it will get the dialogue rolling, so that each time you both feel a little more free to say what you want. For example, when you're having sex, you were mentioning that you moan. So the next time something feels really good, instead of moaning - or while you're moaning, say, "More." Then you can play off of each other. You don't want to say, "Yea, stick that big c--k in my wet p---y, you nasty m-f." Well, maybe you do... LOL! And that's fine also, as long as that's what you both want.

I say start with little things because if it doesn't come organically, it won't sound right. And you don't want to say things that make each other uncomfortable. There's an episode of Sex in the City where Charlotte is dating a man who yells, "You dirty w--re, you f-----g b--ch" when he comes. She's mortified, and he doesn't realize he's saying it, and feels terrible when he realizes it. The thing is, if you both dig it, its not a bad thing to say. You just have to find that ground, and it comes gradually.

Good luck and have fun!!

I am use to it, but most of the time it's just telling eachother what to do. The guy asks, "Do you want me?" and teases and pretends he's going in or maybe not. So we play with it. But sometimes it's all about just ordering the other, I guess it's more submission on my part, and domination on the guys part. They get to be in charge and I just physically do what they want if I want and know I'll enjoy that particular position they are ordering me to, or I pretend that the request didn't compute and wait for the next order! I also dirty talk online with a web cam BF these days and we are so much more blatent about "complimenting" one anothers bodies when we see them on our cameras, we're both kind of scared of being too close/committed right now. But it can be as simple as "You're so hot!" or "I want you-NOW" to start with.

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I wonder if all of us women in deep passion think about talking "dirty". Now thinking back on this I wonder why they are called "dirty". They are body words, sexual words yet some crude words that men have decided to use in describing our and their body parts and added one special one for the hottest and most sensual act possible. Ah, I love that one! But the other two are hot too. The odd two are there for special occasions. I have an inner self. My bad girl. The one that was in deep passion for so many years and was screaming out when he was fingering me or licking me and pleading with my own mouth to tell him to suck my p***y deeper. Come on baby, put your tongue deep inside me and make the waters of love flow out of me...Turn me over my love and spread me for doggie and before you do finger me deeply and when I am so hot that I am pleading for penetration then honey put that big c**k inside me and f**k me with no mercy.....Watch my movements my love. Put that gorgeous p***k deep inside me and go so deeply that you make the hottest part of me scream out with pleasure. My love when you touch my c**t you have made that special part of me alive that no words have been invented to speak of this pleasure it brings me. It is the part of me that is only brought alive because of you. It is part of our journey of love. I found the true me as a woman about two and a half years ago. Before that I only knew missionary. I never used a vibrator. Never knew of porn on the Internet yet we were sexually great. I truly believe I was living on the far side of the moon. Yet saying this I became his hot lover and we held tight for years. But these words would struggle in my mind as I wanted to say them and knew he would never because of his respect for me. But as the new me broke free, I found that I did not want to be respected. I wanted to be as wild as I felt inside with him. All the years of struggling in my fantasy world and not talking during sex but playing this game in my mind was screaming to break loose. I wanted to use those hot words that would unleash the passion inside me. I felt that this is how this woman should be. I was not born to be silent during sex. Let the tiger break free....And I did. And I do. And I always will. Lord, do we have a blast. What they have done to my life as a woman has put a twinkle in my eye that just never goes away. I can only speak of who we are. Yesterday he was in the family room and called me on the intercom. That wonderful man knew how to melt my heart and said to me "baby, you want to f**k?" Needless to say, I was waiting for him at the head of the stairs when he came up.......Now if he would have called me and asked me if I wanted to have sexual intercourse, I am sorry to say that would not have done the trick.....Same goes for "honey, please lick my vagina" or baby, play with my p***y. Or you big stud, you stand there with your penis out or please honey, let me suck your c**k. I am trying to give you an example of how I use dirty words. I am not trying to be crude on this subject....I love using them. I love to say them in heat and passion and I adore watching my husband in deep passion when I use them. I am not trying to give a description of our love life but instead trying to put pieces in a puzzle to show the ease that these erotic words can be used. It can bring back youth and hot heat and turn a man into a sexually wonderful beast. As for a woman, you name it...Wild as the wind but you still are a lady.........

Thanks so much for your replies!

Ladylane, I think "testing the waters" like you suggested with suttle talk will be a good place for me to start since this would be new to me. Start out slow and just see where it leads.

Caroline, wow, how I love to read your posts. I have that same tiger you've spoken of hidden within me .... just got to learn how to let it come out.

Originally Posted by Fallen1

Thanks so much for your replies!

Ladylane, I think "testing the waters" like you suggested with suttle talk will be a good place for me to start since this would be new to me. Start out slow and just see where it leads.

Caroline, wow, how I love to read your posts. I have that same tiger you've spoken of hidden within me .... just got to learn how to let it come out.

Letting that tiger loose is the hardest thing any woman can do in her life. We are taught to be modest and womanlike but inside we scream out to be ravished and taken and be as lusty as the woman inside us secretly wants to be. So instead during sex we stay silent. Never tell him what to touch or lick next or that this feels so good and do it some more. Instead we hunger for so often at the end of this encounter we are unfulfilled and must fake it. And then the men wonder why we say "not tonight dear".

With that dirty talking that I finally did, came this new bold woman. Shave every two days and drive him wild. The confidence I have in being a sexual woman comes out in every part of me. Believe me I am a classy woman but do not look my age. But being so confident in my sexuality and the way he makes me feel affects every part of me. I know that my eyes twinkle because I am a well loved woman and believe me this does make a difference. I have been told this so many times that it is a joke. Actually I love it.

Last year in the midst of my reincarnation a man of about 15 years younger hit on me in a grocery store. Nice looking and nicely dressed. Followed me around the store. He smiled and I did too. Not to entice him but just being friendly back. On the third meeting in the soup aisle he bumped my cart head on. I looked at him and smiled and asked him if he was following me. He said yes he wanted to get to know me. I laughed both to myself and life. I told him I am sorry but I am married as I showed him my ring. He said that he was too but still wanted to know me. Dam good looking too, but I did not notice. I smiled at him and said as I looked back and walked away, "honey I told you I was married". He like puckered up and that is where I left him.

I think that episode took 15 years off of my life alone. To have this happen at this age in life and have a great looking guy hit on you can put a new gear in your body that says go.......After all, I had to remind myself, I had been married 49 years to the love of my life.....my sailor...

I believe a special part of me was released with the dirty talking. I now have no inhibitions. I now am capable of being anything and everything to him without any embarrassment. In finding myself as a woman I changed and became young and took him along with me...And I love it.....

Thank you for liking my posts. I write from my heart and try and show my feelings. They have been kept under wraps far too long......xox

Well, I gave it a try for the first time last night. Kind of felt odd to me "breaking the silence". I didn't really have a plan so to speak, I just opened my mouth and spoke. What prompted me to it was as we were in the act I started thinking how is he to know what feels good/what I want if I don't tell him. So I hesitantly opened my mouth and said (excuse the graphicness) deeper. And then the word harder came out of my mouth. After a minute or two I had the urge to say another - slower, but I kind of felt guilty because I didn't want him to feel like I was trying to run him through a triathlon, so I didn't say it.

I may not have spoken the words in a tone or manner that was sexy, or that even excited him. I just said them. But at least I broke the ice and maybe next time it won't feel so awkward to me.

Originally Posted by Fallen1

Well, I gave it a try for the first time last night. Kind of felt odd to me "breaking the silence". I didn't really have a plan so to speak, I just opened my mouth and spoke. What prompted me to it was as we were in the act I started thinking how is he to know what feels good/what I want if I don't tell him. So I hesitantly opened my mouth and said (excuse the graphicness) deeper. And then the word harder came out of my mouth. After a minute or two I had the urge to say another - slower, but I kind of felt guilty because I didn't want him to feel like I was trying to run him through a triathlon, so I didn't say it.

I may not have spoken the words in a tone or manner that was sexy, or that even excited him. I just said them. But at least I broke the ice and maybe next time it won't feel so awkward to me.

Why feel guilty? These are our and his body parts and we referring to the hottest recreation possible. By letting him know how it feels and to do it deeper we are not only turning him on but ourselves at the same time. Sometimes I could kick myself for all those years wasted but so goes life.

When a women is feeling sensual and erotic that tiger breaks loose. You feel that yearning deep inside that wants to be filled and even grinding helps stimulate you. Then you work your magic....In the last two years I have finally gotten to the point that if we are just laying down on the bed resting for a few minutes and holding each other, that I will ask him to eat me. He has NEVER refused. 90% of the time this leads to a full meal.....Of course, sometimes I casually have taken off my bra to start just tempting him.....Embarrassed I asked him during one of the first times if I was bold to ask that. He said he loved it. ...(he said other words too but a bit too hot.....)

I have found that my man does not always know when I am sexually stirred inside...I let him know now. Either for fingering or full sex. When the vaginal walls of our inner love canal are crying out for fingering or licking this is the best time to act on it to make us more alive for all the next times. Frequent sex makes us women want more frequent sex.. So to sexually say "honey would you eat my p***y or will you finger me, can start the thunder rolling.....If I am sexually sick then I don't want a cure....Take care, Caroline

Caroline, you are a national treasure and inspiration to us all! You should seriously write a book! Bravo!

Originally Posted by NightDragon_81

Caroline, you are a national treasure and inspiration to us all! You should seriously write a book! Bravo!

It's funny what you said about writing a book as I have heard this more than a few times. The funniest part of it is that I never wrote until after Orlando. But yes, I could write a book. A book about the many changes in life that happen with a woman. Women are not told of what they will be. So many quit being sexual so young in their life as they get ready for menopause. They think it will end there and it has only just begun.

Someday I will tell of the letters from men. The sadness that are in so many marriages and the women who write who are so sorry that they did not do what they should have done and now they have lost him. There are no books that tell the truth nor no doctors that know the truth...And that is the truth.....C