Thread: Normal to not feel anything during sex?

I've been suffering from pleasure-less sex for the past couple of years. i don't see how this is normal or okay. it's frustrating and it causes problems in relationships.

your post seems rather ambiguous to me..do you mean you get no pleasure from touching, being touched,penetration, or oral sex..do you get any pleasure mentally from turning on your partner..no it is not normal or ok..do you have strong feeling for your partner or are they one night stands..this forum is anonymous, give is a few more details..there are many amazing women in this site who can help you from a female perspective, and a few men who have the male point of view..open up and WELCOME..

Originally Posted by dr.mansview

your post seems rather ambiguous to me..do you mean you get no pleasure from touching, being touched,penetration, or oral sex..do you get any pleasure mentally from turning on your partner..no it is not normal or ok..do you have strong feeling for your partner or are they one night stands..this forum is anonymous, give is a few more details..there are many amazing women in this site who can help you from a female perspective, and a few men who have the male point of view..open up and WELCOME..

i don't feel any pleasure from penetration.

i enjoy oral sex both giving and receiving. i have been aroused and lubricated from foreplay (oral) but when it came to being penetrated it didn't feel good at all. i just feel a penis going in and out.

i don't think it matters at all how connected i am with my partner. women can enjoy sex and not have to have this huge emotional bond with a guy. we like to get off too. i don't think every sexual encounter has to be this spiritual union. i just want to do what it takes for it to feel right

i also experiment with sex toys, and i still have trouble finding what i like because i am not feeling any sort of sensation from thrusting. i don't understand what is wrong with me

Have you tried using a vibrator at the same time as intercourse? (you enjoy oral, but oral at the same time is intercourse would require rather impresive flexibility ).

Have you tried different positions - for instance you on top so you can adjsut the angle to see what feels good?

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

Have you tried using a vibrator at the same time as intercourse? (you enjoy oral, but oral at the same time is intercourse would require rather impresive flexibility ).

Have you tried different positions - for instance you on top so you can adjsut the angle to see what feels good?

Yes, I have been on top and cannot really find any spot that gives me pleasure.

As of now, I am experimenting with dildos and vibrators, not with a partner.

so is it normal to not feel anything during sex or what? this issue doesn't seem to be fairly addressed in the same regards as to women who enjoy sex but cannot orgasm..i wish there were more topics dedicated to this. if you ask me not being able to feel pleasure from sex is a lot more distressing than a woman who can enjoy it but can't orgasm

Natasha123, you shouldn't be attacking other women in your posts; that's against the rules. I can understand that you are frustrated, but just because you are going through something that you perceive as "worse," it doesn't make other womens' problems less. There are some women who have posted not being able to have sex because it hurts too much. Does that belittle your own issue? It shouldn't.
It's a common question on this board, not being able to orgasm, so it's easy to answer: relax, keep trying, it might take years but it can happen, and try new things.
Well, the same things ought to work for you.
You said you didn't believe that sex needed to be with an emotional connection in order to feel good, but have you ever had sex with an emotional connection? You could be mentally disjointing yourself from intercourse and not even know it. You could have a psychological problem concerning sex that makes you "turn off" when penetration happens.
I have only had 2 partners; I'm no expert on sex, but I've certainly seen the spectrum; with partner number 1, if it didn't hurt like crazy, I was generally numb; didn't feel anything other than thrusting. Maybe once in 20 minutes, he would hit a good spot, but that's all. Since he was my first, I was scared silly that I'd never enjoy sex.
With my current partner (with whom I have a very close connection,) I am always satisfied. I took a month of birth control and the pain came back to sex, but because we love each other we had the patience to work through it. That emotional connection can really make the difference in sex; make the difference in how much patience you'll have, how your mental blocks spring up or disappear, or just how you're feeling towards the act itself. Your undercurrent of emotions can do a LOT to change your physical reactions.
So good luck with your personal experimentation.

I have been experimenting with sex toys--dildos, so I don't know how I can develop a emotional connection with a toy. My intentions was to get to know my body and figure out what feels good, unfortunately I have no luck. I've been playing around with this toy in all kind of spots and have yet to find any hot spots or anything that remotely feels good.

Fingering doesn't feel good to me either.

I don't know what's wrong with me

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. For me, it took a real emotional connection with a person to enjoy sex. It's great that you want to explore in a safe way. You shouldn't feel at all that there's something wrong with you; pleasure will come with time and the right situation.

Originally Posted by Natasha123

I have been experimenting with sex toys--dildos, so I don't know how I can develop a emotional connection with a toy. My intentions was to get to know my body and figure out what feels good, unfortunately I have no luck. I've been playing around with this toy in all kind of spots and have yet to find any hot spots or anything that remotely feels good.

Fingering doesn't feel good to me either.

I don't know what's wrong with me

Absolutely nothing is wrong with you. But society says something is wrong with you if you do not find all these things. When the right person and the right time hit together the bells will ring. Play with your toys and stop worrying. If you get horny do your thing. When he comes along you will know it. Your internal organs will shout with want.

When I was young I married for love and passion. Only after marriage when I was able to grow enough to feel this hunger of a woman and mature enough to take it for what it was, plus grow emotionally from it, did I begin to truly become a woman. So many people say so many things about this wonderful out of their mind and heart stopping sex. Most of them may feel it sometime but a great deal like to see their words in front of them to read....If you are just having sex with a partner and not in love with or have strong sexual feelings for, how do you think this can make you tingle? You must go to him with heat. Feel juicy just looking at him. Can't wait until he touches you. This is the feeling all women should have to receive their partner. Wihtout it, they fake it or are just in for the small thrill of an arousal...Casual sex is just that, casual sex. A partner can be that unless he turns you on sexually to be with him...I am the old fashioned type that thinks that some love has to be in there too to make my chimes ring......and they do..