Thread: Sex - How Many Times Per Week When Living w/ Partner?

First off I am 21, he is 20. We have our own apartment together. I work 35 hours per week, go to school full time, and am the captain of my school's dance team.

He is 20, goes to school, and has to spend alot of time on eating and training.


We are a very close couple, 6 months together serious but a little over a year together total.


He takes very good care of all of my needs and spends alot of time taking care of me so I can manage my schedule, I take care of him when I have the time to.


We have worked out all of our major problems, relationship goes great, only thing though he is consistently upset with the amount of sex in the relationship. Leads to arguments.

We have sex 2 maybe 3 times a week, is this normal for a couple our age that live together? Do you have any advice? I am afraid our relationship will just turn into being about just sex and him not being with me for what we have.

Originally Posted by _Bladen_

First off I am 21, he is 20. We have our own apartment together. I work 35 hours per week, go to school full time, and am the captain of my school's dance team.

He is 20, goes to school, and has to spend alot of time on eating and training.


We are a very close couple, 6 months together serious but a little over a year together total.


He takes very good care of all of my needs and spends alot of time taking care of me so I can manage my schedule, I take care of him when I have the time to.


We have worked out all of our major problems, relationship goes great, only thing though he is consistently upset with the amount of sex in the relationship. Leads to arguments.

We have sex 2 maybe 3 times a week, is this normal for a couple our age that live together? Do you have any advice? I am afraid our relationship will just turn into being about just sex and him not being with me for what we have.

From various surveys, an "average" couple has sex something like 2-3 times / week. Average is very different from "normal". Some people want sex daily or more, some feel once a month or less is fine. I don't think there is any problem with either - as long as you are compatible.

My wife and I have very different desires for frequency of sex - and it has been a tremendous problem in our marriage.

Something that wasn't clear from your post:

Do you enjoy the sex, and are just worried it is "too much". If so, no need for concern, the 2-3 times /week you mention is not at all unusual, and not a sign of a problem.

But - if you are not enjoying it, or are feeling pressured, or if he is feeling neglected, that is a problem.

There is a thread "mismatched desires" in "Relationships" where people are discussing this issue -mostly from the point of view of people who are feeling neglected. We would welcome input from someone who feels it is too much.

Every couple has a different normal. Some will have it morning and night and some every two days. Your desire's is what counts. I would never worry that he does not think enough about you when he wants you sexually. That is a compliment.... It's when he doesn't want you that much that I would worry. Just make love and find each other and have the time of your life.

I think the more sex a couple has the closer they feel. At least this is my excuse...

2/3 times a week for more, sometimes more, sometimes less.


To be honest, it's less than I'd desire, but I've got used to that.

There's always masturbation :P

Sometimes once a day, sometimes every other day, and every once in a while, twice a day. I think it's completely normal if your relationship is healthy. Soemtiems when my boyfriend and I drift apart a little bit, we have sex less, but when we're really close it happens frequently.

I think 2-3 times is normal for most, I would like to see more myself and in the past dated a gal who wanted it every day sometimes 2 times or more a day and it was to the point I could not perform the way she wanted me to but I feel this was the extreme. Do you feel that you are havingt sex too much or not enough? What does he think?

When I was 20 I could have done it every day (and for a stretch I think I did)...and I lived at home. I can't imagine what I would have done with a live in GF.

Honestly, your BF is at his sexual peak...and he's too young, dumb and horny to understand that your not and it's not your fault.

Maybe have a sex-a-thon once a month - hibernate indoors for a weekend and live on chinese, pizza and trojans. It's something he could look forward to - making it worth the sacrifice (in his mind) of not having sex twice a day.

Also, when I was that age the best thing a girl did for me was the spontaneous blowjob or handjob - like waking up in the middle of the night or in the morning with my penis in her mouth...or in a taxicab, restaurant bathroom, ATM, etc.

My point is, if you can keep him guessing, he won't worry about how much he is getting (well, he might - but not as much)...he will be too busy wondering what you will do next.

Originally Posted by _Bladen_

First off I am 21, he is 20. We have our own apartment together. I work 35 hours per week, go to school full time, and am the captain of my school's dance team.

He is 20, goes to school, and has to spend alot of time on eating and training.


We are a very close couple, 6 months together serious but a little over a year together total.


He takes very good care of all of my needs and spends alot of time taking care of me so I can manage my schedule, I take care of him when I have the time to.


We have worked out all of our major problems, relationship goes great, only thing though he is consistently upset with the amount of sex in the relationship. Leads to arguments.

We have sex 2 maybe 3 times a week, is this normal for a couple our age that live together? Do you have any advice? I am afraid our relationship will just turn into being about just sex and him not being with me for what we have.

o hai Bladen, wut are u doing posing as a girl? aren't you just a cutie!

Every couple is different, as people have been saying.

My boyfriend and I have lived together for about 6 months and been together about a year. Depending on our work schedules, we have sex about 5 or 6 times a week. We are both very exhausted after work and the gym and what not, but we make it essential to make time for us. A quickie before bed is always an option if you don't have the time/energy for a whole night of sex.

I've also had those nights where I am just WAY to tired, and he well.. isn't. I've always made it up to him with a surprise visit in his morning shower.

Holy moley, so im guessing it was right to get rid of my 3 year partner if we were only have sex once every 3 months?? (believe me, not my idea.. )

i think youre realtionship is healthy. youre working long hours. i agree with metboogie...spice things up every month and have a sex-a-thon.