Thread: let's talk orgasms (explict)

just joined today, and i have had a question that i've been dying to ask women for so long...only cause i'm curious to know what else might work, ideas, tips and tricks when it comes to orgasms.

we are all aware that our bodies are different, some of us orgasm from penetration, clitoral stimualation, specific positions..solo and with partners

i don't have much to complain about when it comes to orgasms. i've always been able to achieve mutiples, the first being the strongest and then weakening more and more after that.

i think the meds (effexor 150mg) i'm on are affecting the abilitiy to achieve which is a bummer, but with a little bit of patience and usually through masterbation i am able to achieve, then my husband (whos been waiting patiently but eagerly) will join and i am able to orgasm through penetration.

when i was in my twenties, i could only orgasm through deep penetration, usually only with my fingers as i wiggled my cervix, had my legs straight down and flexed, sort of pulling my hand deeper inside but feeling as though i was forcing an orgasm out....strange..

i can still only orgasm in ONE POSTION...missionary..and thats basically what i want to know...
do other women find they are able to orgasm in one position or several..?
do orgasms just "happen" or do other women feel they have to force them out, bear down, push...whatever..?

now, almost 30 i can orgasm through penetration and direct stimulation on my clitoris. they are pretty intense, but wish i could even have MORE intense ones...
i'm pretty goal oriented, but enjoy and am fine with satisfiying my husband sexually even if i don't orgasm...sometimes its just too much work and can be frustrating because i could get "there" faster in the past.

i hope people find the time to post, cause i am curious, but perhaps have been to shy to get "this" explict with my friends..
i like the anominimity (sp) of the internet.

eli

Some people are truly blessed in this area and others are cursed. I know that there are women out there that will tell you every possibillity you could think of. Some women can only have an orgasm in one position, some in many, and some can't have them at all. Some need the clitoral stimulation and some penetration. Some women can even mentally cause themselves to have an orgasm without penetration. Now those are the lucky ones! Hahaha!

It's always been somewhat difficult for me. Certain positions just don't do anything at all for me and I am more likely to have an orgasm in missionary then anything else. Overall, I think the biggest factor for me has been my mental preparation. If I am not really into it, then it's a struggle. I have also found that trying new things really helps. Change things up a bit and experiment. Repetative sex habits (same things over and over) will cause a decrease in orgasms AND the desire for sex.

I can only achieve orgasm when I'm on top of him or lying face down on the bed, with him doing it from behind. I think that's because in both position there's something rubbing against my clit. But strangely enough, these two positions are not my favorite ones.

The only ways that I have ever had an orgasm was either through masterbation or oral sex. It takes me longer to orgasm through oral sex versus masterbation, no matter how good it is feeling. I have yet to experience an orgasm through penetration so consider yourself lucky.

Now that I think about it, I have almost had an orgasm through penetration but it was while having sex from behind and his finger was in my behind. It's something to consider.

I ALWAYS have an orgasm thru masturbation and clit stimulation.I sometimes have orgasms with penetration from my man,but not all the time and only if it is from behind,as in doggy style (not anal).However I always orgasm with penetration from my vibe,but thats because it is so powerful!! ^_^ Personally I prefer clit stimulation though,those are always the best orgasms in my opnion!!

The most important element of the perfect orgasm is its intensity. Through clitoral stimulation the possibilites for maximum pleasure are endless simply because you are in control of how much stimulation and exactly wear it is applied and for however long as neccessary. Those nights that I awaken and can't fall back to sleep, intense orgasm through clitoral stimulation can really put me back into a deep restful sleep. Try it and I'm sure you will feel the same. There's nothing like a good night sleep for all of us hard working women.
Another way to reach those perfect orgasms is to let your partner in on the fun so that he or she can stimulate other areas for you while you are masturbating. This is really exciting as well.

The Facts

Approximately 70% of women never once, during their entire lifetimes, reach orgasm from the stimulation of intercourse alone. Even among the other 30%, climaxing with each and every sexual act isn't a given.

While enjoying yourself to the fullest during sex is every woman's goal, pressuring yourself to have an orgasm each time you have sex or intercourse can steer you away from pleasure and straight toward distressing encounters that, for some couples, lead to arguments.

The Anatomy

Most women aren't orgasmic from intercourse alone because the nerve endings on the inner two-thirds of the vagina are fairly insensitive. (Women who have given birth vaginally are grateful for this fact.)

The most sensitive part of the vagina is the outer third. This anatomical fact means that penises don't need to be particularly long to create pleasurable sensations for most women who enjoy insertion. But it also means a man could probably stimulate a woman more by concentrating on the outer part of her vagina with his hands and mouth.

Most women who are orgasmic from intercourse alone require plenty of stimulation (or the right type of stimulation for them) to get there. That's because intercourse provides only indirect stimulation to the clitoris, much like rhythmically massaging a man's scrotum would provide indirect stimulation to his penis. With the exception of some men who ejaculate without direct stimulation, the majority prefers moderately direct stimulation to their penis and a fair amount of it. It's logical to assume the same goes for women and stimulation to their clitoris -- whether orgasmic by sexual intercourse or not.

Him & Her

If a woman does tend to be orgasmic with intercourse, but finds she can't get there regularly, or with a particular partner, there are a few things she can think about:

Relating to Him

Your partner could be going too fast: touching you in a hurried fashion or ejaculating before you might like him to. There are several important issues to clarify. Find out if:

Your partner is ejaculating before he wants to
Whether he knows the stimulation ends before you're ready for it to end
He could prolong the time before his ejaculation
Relating to Her

Then, there are some issues that pertain to you. How close do you get to orgasm during intercourse? Would it help if your partner used additional types of stimulation (besides intercourse) to arouse you as part of building toward orgasm? What effect would incorporating stimulating mental images have for your arousal? Would you be willing to ask your partner to continue stimulating you if he stops before you'd like?

So much of sex is psychological, and men and women can have a profound effect on their own responses. Instead of trying to meet expectations, fit into norms, or worry about numbers, people would do well to stop pressuring themselves to reach particular goals and learn how best to create sexual excitement specific to themselves and their partner.

Anti depressant medications can cause the lack of ability to reach an orgasm which is one of the side affects. This can be depressing in itself.
Going through the early stages of menapause, along with other symptoms, can cause the anxiety factor as a result of low estrogen. Not being able to reach a fulfilling orgasm can make one feel somewhat less of a woman because they feel as if their ability to perform is not what it should.

I have problems having an orgasm during intercourse, sometimes I do but not very often. I have a better chance of having an orgasm during oral sex. I also find that it is easier to orgasm if my legs are close together and almost like I have to push for it. My other problem is ever since the birth of my second child, my sex drive has not been the same. As you can imagine this has caused a very big strain in my marriage. I have tried reassuring my husband that it is not his fault and that it is not him but he won't believe me. Is there anything I can do to get my sex drive back? I am sure if there is anything I can do to get my sex drive back, that the other problem with be fixed along with the lack of desire for sex. I was worried that there was something really wrong with me but now I see this tends to be a very common problem with women and it seems to happen after having kids. I really want to be the way I used to be. I want to just jump on my husband when he comes through the door and everything be back to normal again.

Hi
Ok desperately in need of help! I have a very attentative partner who has had vast sexual experiences and I to say the least have had only a few. Since meeting him I have found that I am highly sexed (big shock to me) but eventhough we do every postion, location etc I cant reach orgasm. I get nothing from attempted masturbation as to my brain "its still a finger".
He spend hours on foreplay and its driving me mad. All his other partners had orgasms at some stage and Ive even resorted to getting a vibrator to see if that can do it but no, my brain knows its just a piece of rubber.
He has wined and dined me, massaged me, played guitar to me, told me everything a woman would like to hear, talked dirty to me, role played, blindfolded me as he heard it hightens your other senses. Still nothing. Should I give up? Or has someone out there got the answer, or even some other ideas?