Thread: Guys, please clue me in

Is it a FACT that all men enjoy to masturbate (even when they have someone to have sex with) and all men will continue to masturbate until the day they die. Do men understand that a woman sometimes feels like, "I think he likes his hand more than me" or is offended that he'll use porn to get off than her?

Originally Posted by bellasmom

Is it a FACT that all men enjoy to masturbate (even when they have someone to have sex with) and all men will continue to masturbate until the day they die. Do men understand that a woman sometimes feels like, "I think he likes his hand more than me" or is offended that he'll use porn to get off than her?

I'm a guy, and thus qualified to give an answer that represents the opinions of 1 guy out of 3 billiion guys.

I would not masturbate if my partner was available for sex at that time. I might though, if she were not available then, but only later. For me, masturbation is a less appealing alternative to sex. Men who do not get as much sex as they want will probably masturbate to make up the difference.

Not all men use porn to masturbate. Men are visually stimulated (more so than women on average), so porn is exciting to many men. Most would consider porn to be a poor alternative to their partners. Some enjoy watching porn with their partners - some women are excited by porn, and both men and women can get some ideas.

I think few men prefer their hands to their partners. It isn't an either / or situation.


One final note - some women are not very skilled at stimulating their partners. They could read about techniques, watch porn, or much better, if their partner is willing, watch when they masturbate. Same goes for men watching women. The anatomy is different (!), and different things are simulating. This is completely separate from love - just technique - but it can make a big difference.

I'm a guy.


All of the reasons stated above.

Yeah, most will carry on. If it really upsets you that much, involve yourself more with him. If he's having great sex every day he won't be that likely to carry on much.


If you don't go near him for a week, you have no right to complain :P

Just trying to get a clue on the male psyche! I understand that men are unique, but the excuse I have always heard from men regarding masturbation is <"All men do it. Just live with it"

Doesn't it take the meaning out of loving, soul-scratching intimacy to get to the same end by a different means?

What you need to understand is that for men sexual desire is like hunger. When you are hungry, really really hungry, sometimes you just want to satisfy your hunger and get on with your day.

Think of the best meal you've ever had, one that lasts an hour or two. Probably with friends and family, lots of home cooked food and great conversation. A full tummy after a fabulous dessert, and a feeling of rightness and contentment. That is like making love to your soulmate.

Now imagine being hungry but in a hurry to get to a meeting. Do you want the best meal of your life, or do you want to just grab a burger and satisfy your hunger? Fast food is what masturbation is for men. When a man is horny, sometimes he just wants his desire to be satisfied. It has nothing to do with love or connecting with anyone. It's about making the aching horniness go away.

That being said, I also would like to add that masturbation can also be a very exciting, personal experience. I cherish the times when I can be alone and pleasure myself. It's a part of my life that is fun and all my own.

Admittedly, I would do it less if my wife wanted sex more often than a couple of times a year, but that is something we're working on together.

- MiniVanMan

Originally Posted by MiniVanMan

Think of the best meal you've ever had, one that lasts an hour or two. Probably with friends and family, lots of home cooked food and great conversation. A full tummy after a fabulous dessert, and a feeling of rightness and contentment. That is like making love to your soulmate.

Now imagine being hungry but in a hurry to get to a meeting. Do you want the best meal of your life, or do you want to just grab a burger and satisfy your hunger? Fast food is what masturbation is for men. When a man is horny, sometimes he just wants his desire to be satisfied. It has nothing to do with love or connecting with anyone. It's about making the aching horniness go away.

Makes sense.

Not trying to stir the pot, but it seems to me that if it was available and you could squeeze it in wouldn't you rather have the "best meal"? That seems to be a recurring question.

I am constantly interested in these threads! Always provide interesting reads. My boyfriend did masturbate about 2 or 3 times a week because we have a long distance relationship (well, 45 min. away). We only see each other once a week, usually. But recently, he made the decision to stop masturbating. And ohhh my goddd, was it a good one! I have never seen him so interested and horny in all my life. Sex has become just that much better. The slightest touch can get him going- to make him even more horny, we fool around for hours before i'll get him off. He says he's never had a stronger orgasm in his life. Do i think this'll last forever? Who knows. But i do know we both love it.

Just another perspective.

If I may play devil's advocate for a moment I would like to lob a few ideas into the discussion.

According to UK statistics 2 million vibrators were sold into the UK market during the year 2000. That is about one vibrator for every 10 women of an age to use one. While I have no data on the typical lifespan of a vibrator it is fair to assume that at least half of all UK women have one and that their use is not confined to solo use by women without a partner and partner play for couples. Shouldn't we have some men here complaining about what is clearly a lot of female self satisfaction going on?

Secondly, testosterone is significant in controlling sexual desire in both sexes (sprays containing it as a 'cure' for lack of sexual desire in women are likely to be marketed in the near future). Since men are stuffed full of the stuff its fair to assume that their sex drive is in a different league to that of women (I understand that in experiments where women were given levels of testosterone comparable to that of men became extremely randy ). To what extent are you ladies allowing for this?

Finally, given this difference in sex drive do you always rely on your partner to instigate sex or do you sometimes grab him by the genitals as he walks through the door, drag him to the bed, and bonk him senseless? If you don't then have you considered the effect this has on his self-esteem? It is certainly not going to do anything for his self-image if you never demonstrate his desirability by taking the initiative but always rely on his initiative. Perhaps he masturbates to reduce the frequency of sex between you so that you take more initiative in your lovemaking and indirectly makes him feel better about himself?

BTW to answer the obvious question - my wife and I have sex from a very nicely varied menu about 5 or 6 times a week (and we are in our 50's) so I simply don't have the physique to indulge in any solo activity