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Thread: Just help me!

  1. #1
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    Default Just help me!


    Hi there,

    My name is David and I am from India. I am going to marry within in couple of week. Here I would like to ask that how can I make her crazy on our golden night. I have no idea regarding making love. So anyone suggest me something interesting to make my first sex unforgettable.

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Tetris Champion Array Stillness's Avatar
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    My advice is to not worry about it and don't get your expectations too high. You're going to just be getting to know each other in a new way. You'll both be nervous and if it's a first time for either of you, you have to get used to sex.

    If you want to try something special a massage beforehand is always nice. It will slow things down, relax her, and excite you both. I've been married for 13 years and it's still a favorite. My wife still talks about a massage I gave probably 10 years ago (that I don't even remember) and how great it was.

  3. #3
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    Hi,

    Massage! Cool...

    Thanks

  4. #4
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Array DreamP346's Avatar
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    David, just relax and as Stillness said, don't have big expectations. Movies and romance books make you think the first time is wonderful. Well, in reality it can be kind of strange and lack luster. Most men cum within 2 minutes. Most women do not orgasm. If anything, they feel pain. Remember, orgasm should not be your goal this first time. Spending this intimate time together and enjoying being with each other should be the goal. You will do a lot of exploring and trying to figure out what works for you and your wife. If you aren't able to penetrate, you can't maintain your erection because you get too nervous, your wife is unable to enjoy because of pain are all possibilities. Be prepared for them. That is why it is so important to also focus on non-intercourse aspects of sex. Spend lots of time with foreplay and don't rush it. If you cum too soon, its not over yet, you can still do lots of other stuff.

    I usually recommend the book "Guide to Getting it On." Not sure it is available in India, but try reading a book for suggestions.

    I know I have listed a bunch of stuff that sounds pretty terrible, but sex can be wonderful. Just don't go into it with preconceived notions of what it should be.
    Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

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    Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Array jen1447's Avatar
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    I wish all guys would get the idea of 'performing' out of their head. You don't need to go through a series of steps to be a good lover except if you're a porn actor. What you do need to do is establish an emotional and physical connection, and then respond to it and let that dictate the pace and your 'moves.' Over time, letting this approach be your guide, you'll become more effective because you'll learn what your lover needs and be able to provide it spontaneously. There is no "I will now perform cunnilingus, just like you expect me to, and you will have wild pleasure and seven orgasms. Starting in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ...." Lighten up, loosen up, drop the hangups, and just go have fun. Do what your body wants.

    ******** one caveat - don't do only what your body wants. The hottest lovers by far are considerate ones.
    Woman trapped inside a woman's body!

  6. #6
    jns
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    Triple Diamond Member (3,000+ posts & member 3 years+) Array jns's Avatar
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    Spend some time talking. You will find talking different and exciting with someone you can be intimate with.

    Go slow with physical interactions. You are both new to each other. You have plenty of time. It's best to work on a foundation for your relationship that will last.

    Lead some and follow some if you can. Let her find her voice in the relationship.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    Patrick Henry

  7. #7
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array shoshannah's Avatar
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    Speaking as a woman, I advise you to let her set the pace. If she feels pressured/threatened, it'll be bad for both of you. Pay attention to her reactions and her body language--she'll tell you in these ways when she is getting excited and when she wants more. Also, just ask her verbally how's she doing and what she wants from you, and pay attention to what she says.

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