Thread: ok in need of real help

Originally Posted by gyrator53

I agree with metboogie - the doctor is the first place to start to get help. There may well be nothing physically wrong with either of you but the uncertainty can work on you psychologically and cause you to have a problem anyway. As for the ED thing there is one sure fire way to have 'equipment failure' and that is worrying about it - if you think it will happen then it will happen!

I think it would be good for you to treat it as a joint problem rather than a problem for one partner only - get checked out yourself even if you don't think there is a physical problem with you as this will keep the blame thing out of the picture (very important!)

If all is OK physically with you both I guess you need to work on improving your combined sexual technique/repertoire. When you are young you can end up having lots of not very good sex - a bit fast and fumbly and always in the same position etc. and its possible to get bored. As you get older the equipment may not be as highly tuned but you make up for that with technique and it actually becomes more pleasurable, not less. There are a lot of sources of advice on technique out there so no need for boredom!

thank you too every one!!1 i couldn't believe ED but i will get myself checked out then bring it up to him in a VERY loving fashion and try not to make him feel like he has failed. but i try to get him to try thinks and i am a very LOVING person wink wink** i feel bad if he doesn't end up happy in the end and it makes me more upset about him not enjoying it then myself but i know he will get better but he doesn't seem to want to try anymore.......and now he has mono and I'm fine??? this is very scary to me because I am fine and he is on his death bed?? should i be worried?? and can i spice up my sex life before we both hate it?? i don't want us to become bore with each other?? i love him physically but he tells me that its a lie because he's not a jock and etc what can i do? to make him feel better about himself and build him Up^

Let me share something with you I wish I knew at your age.

You can't make someone else happy - only they can make themself happy. Sounds crazy, especially given all that we do to please other people, but it's true.

Your BF seems to be going through some things (especially Mono) - he obviously has self esteem issues (possibly as a result of his sexual dysfunction, or as the cause of it) and is basically immature for a 29 year old - except he's 18. He's allowed to be.

And that brings me to my final point - not that you can't find love at 18 and have it last forever, but at that age if the relationship seems to be too much trouble, than move on to the next one.

And believe me, there are PLENTY more where he came from...

i know this. i didn't ever say that we were going to be together forever, but are only real problem is that the sex inst great but i don't know much due too we were both virgins before this* now i feel like i can't give him what he wants but its ok...i just want a little advice and thank you very much!!1


i'm sure the sex will get better, no one is great from the start!1

Originally Posted by miss_maid

ok i'm not to new sex but its not what it should be i haven't gotten anything out of anything....not oral, physical, or anything and i feel so bad because i told my lover and he hasen't been able to get much out of sex either and know i feel worst about it i didn't mind it was just getting hard to fake it, so if you could help a girl out!!! and no i have only had sex with him so its not he's not enough. though some times i can't feel him inside of me O.o which is weird i hear

Some times the size of the penis could be an issue, if you are not feeling him inside.

In addition, do you do kegel muscle exercises? This is an extremely effective vaginal muscle exercise for regaining elasticity and tightness.

Also have you tried stimulating yourself, while he is inside you. This could aid you in building some sought of sexual sensation.

If all else fails, perhaps you have an unresolved issue that you refuse to acknowledge so its affecting your sex drive.

Originally Posted by miss_maid

i wish i knew what to do to help him, some times he isn't hard all the way and dies on us a lot i feel like i have failed as a girlfriend and now i can't even turn him on and i use to be able to without doing much i feel like its all old hat for him

I'm a guy. Is there a parents issue here? Are you guys in home territory and you think, or your BF does, that you would die if your parents were to find out? I don't need an answer, but I think that can be an incredible pressure for young folk still at home. Guilt could be a huge turnoff, I think, even at horny 18.

I was a rebel, so thoughts of the parents disapproval was a turn-on for sex :^) Maybe I should have been ashamed. (Nahhh...)

lol ok i don't think i need to much exercise but i'll try anything....and yeah its in his home but i only bring it up* when hes up** so if he didn't feel like doing it i'd never push him too...and he doesn't always have this problem...so i don't know what i can do but i'm try to let it build it up