Thread: ok in need of real help

ok i'm not to new sex but its not what it should be i haven't gotten anything out of anything....not oral, physical, or anything and i feel so bad because i told my lover and he hasen't been able to get much out of sex either and know i feel worst about it i didn't mind it was just getting hard to fake it, so if you could help a girl out!!! and no i have only had sex with him so its not he's not enough. though some times i can't feel him inside of me O.o which is weird i hear

i wish i knew what to do to help him, some times he isn't hard all the way and dies on us a lot i feel like i have failed as a girlfriend and now i can't even turn him on and i use to be able to without doing much i feel like its all old hat for him

not that I want all the intimate details of your sex life, but I'm having trouble getting an idea of what is going wrong...

Is it that he has ED (erectile dysfunction)? Your 1st post made it seem like you two were just having bad sex.

If it is ED, he should see a doctor. If it is bad sex, well - that's a different topic.

Originally Posted by miss_maid

lol i think we maybe too young for that. we are only 18, can you have those kind of problems at our age?? but i think you maybe right!!1

It is possible that if he is anxious/worried about his "performance" and pleasing you that it could have type of affect on him.

he has said that but he told me that he isn't always hard with himself. when im not around. and lately i feel like im not wanted in that way and its not that i'm ugly he as always said that i'm sexy and those kind of thing but i feel like i have failed in some way.

I have to say, the 1st (and only) time I wasn't able to get an erection I was 21...and it was definitely the pressure of the situation.

But it seems like your BF has a bigger problem...and he should see a urologist. At 18 I could just say the word "erection" and BOING!...stiff as a rod.

There are 2 really important things to remember:
1 - This has nothing to do with you. He either has an emotional, physical or mental problem that is causing this...having a GF that wants to have sex with you all the time (at 18) is NOT a problem.

2 - He HAS to see a doctor...and there is only 1 way for you to bring it up...it has to be in the most loving, sensitive manner on earth...you have to be building him up the entire time - because the conversation topic alone will tear him down. But ED at his age is not normal, and could be the sign of a serious problem.

One last question (just to be sure) - does he take drugs (or medication) or drink? Is he involved in any physical work or sports? Any recent traumatic events?

Those could be factors...

I agree with metboogie - the doctor is the first place to start to get help. There may well be nothing physically wrong with either of you but the uncertainty can work on you psychologically and cause you to have a problem anyway. As for the ED thing there is one sure fire way to have 'equipment failure' and that is worrying about it - if you think it will happen then it will happen!

I think it would be good for you to treat it as a joint problem rather than a problem for one partner only - get checked out yourself even if you don't think there is a physical problem with you as this will keep the blame thing out of the picture (very important!)

If all is OK physically with you both I guess you need to work on improving your combined sexual technique/repertoire. When you are young you can end up having lots of not very good sex - a bit fast and fumbly and always in the same position etc. and its possible to get bored. As you get older the equipment may not be as highly tuned but you make up for that with technique and it actually becomes more pleasurable, not less. There are a lot of sources of advice on technique out there so no need for boredom!

Originally Posted by gyrator53

I think it would be good for you to treat it as a joint problem rather than a problem for one partner only - get checked out yourself even if you don't think there is a physical problem with you as this will keep the blame thing out of the picture (very important!)

GREAT IDEA!!!

Originally Posted by metboogie

I have to say, the 1st (and only) time I wasn't able to get an erection I was 21...and it was definitely the pressure of the situation.

But it seems like your BF has a bigger problem...and he should see a urologist. At 18 I could just say the word "erection" and BOING!...stiff as a rod.

There are 2 really important things to remember:
1 - This has nothing to do with you. He either has an emotional, physical or mental problem that is causing this...having a GF that wants to have sex with you all the time (at 18) is NOT a problem.

2 - He HAS to see a doctor...and there is only 1 way for you to bring it up...it has to be in the most loving, sensitive manner on earth...you have to be building him up the entire time - because the conversation topic alone will tear him down. But ED at his age is not normal, and could be the sign of a serious problem.

One last question (just to be sure) - does he take drugs (or medication) or drink? Is he involved in any physical work or sports? Any recent traumatic events?

Those could be factors...

no i don't think so he is not on a team he doesn't drink or take drug any kind of drugs! he's just a normal ****** boy he plays games doesn't really get much physical exercise.