New to sex

**Christianmusicroo** · 12-13-2007 05:00 AM

Hey guys been awhile since I have been on here and I need a little help, I am new to sex just recently started and the guy I am with kind of wants me in control me on top and what not and I am not sure on what to do and to be honest a little scared. One thing that makes me scared is pain, we've had sex a couple times and when he inserts not matter how gentle and slow and such he goes well it hurts at first and guess that keeps me from trying to me more control and being on top and such like he wants.... Any advice for a new comer?

**Little** · 12-13-2007 06:38 AM

Well, one thing that helped me was knowing that you can't go too slow if it's hurting.
If he wants you on top, he's going to have to help you learn how to handle it. It really makes penetration better because even if he's thrusting, you're more in control of how your body is taking it. Have him thrust with you on top first, so that you can figure out what to do with your body (I know it's confusing! Or at least it is/was for me ...)
Good luck

**metboogie** · 12-13-2007 05:39 PM

Are u lubricating?

**Christianmusicroo** · 12-13-2007 08:34 PM

Thanks little yeah a little confusing but I'll figure it out lol

There's stuff on the condoms metboogie is that what you refering too? I know this sounds dumb but I know of things like this never be taught, like I think I know what you are talking about but no we are not using that

I also get pain when get exams to when they first insert, I was told that will happen until my body gets use to that and sex is that true?

Also how can I keep myself from being nervous I trust him a lot, but at the same time I am nervous

and I also wondering if maybe I hurt a little because I was raped once?

**metboogie** · 12-13-2007 09:45 PM

This is the part where I say you should talk to a professional...the trauma from rape is serious and can cause untold mental, physical and emotional repurcussions for the victim.

Please, please, PLEASE - before you do anything else talk to a professional...

LADIES - Anybody know a good place to refer her to?

**haillei** · 12-14-2007 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by Christianmusicroo

Hey guys been awhile since I have been on here and I need a little help, I am new to sex just recently started and the guy I am with kind of wants me in control me on top and what not and I am not sure on what to do and to be honest a little scared. One thing that makes me scared is pain, we've had sex a couple times and when he inserts not matter how gentle and slow and such he goes well it hurts at first and guess that keeps me from trying to me more control and being on top and such like he wants.... Any advice for a new comer?

Before I suggest anything, I would like to suggest that you relax. From reading your post, it sounds like you are putting a lot of mental pressure on yourself for something that should make you feel sensational and relaxed, elated in fact; not tense.

If you've told your guy you are new to sex, believe me, he won't mind or run away screaming in disgust.

Don't be afraid to experiment. If he wants you in control, then you have no worries. If going on top hurts, go to the side, try it from behind. But what you should not do is tense up in anticipation of pain every time you get ready to be penetrated. It could only make matters worse.

Remember, just relax and experiment in order to discover what is pleasurable for both of you.

**Christianmusicroo** · 12-17-2007 11:20 AM

I have talked to someone don't worry

I think what Haillei said probably just hit the nail I probably just need to relax and what not

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