Thread: Wifes lack of sexual interest????

Let me start out with the stats, She is 40, i am 37. We have been married for 15 years and have a GREAT marriage. I have a physically demanding job and she has a job as an office manager for a small company. We have 2 WONDERFUL children, 7 & 11 yrs old. She is a BEAUTIFUL woman and i let her know that but she thinks she needs to loose a few pounds around her belly. All of this said we have sex maybe 2-3X month and it almost always is a pity **** anymore although once in a great while she REALLY gets off big time. I am very talented orally and last quite a while and i ALWAYS make sure she gets off first if i can get her in the mood but most of the time its "hurry up and get it over with, i'm tired" I help around the house and do what I'm asked. I do homework and entertain the kids, run errands, clean Etc. I encourage her to go out after work for dinner with some of her friends. Usually after a girls night out (in by 9pm) she can be convinced to give sex a try and she will get off. She gets up at 6am to work out and usually goes to bed by 9pm so i am not buying the tired excuse to much. We have a great mattress she really like so i think she is getting good sleep but the excuse 75% of the time is "I'm tire" and the rest of the time is "i'm under to much stress" I have stress EVERY DAY but i use sex as a stress reliever and it works well. She says it don't for her but i call BS on that because after a night that is not a pity ****, a night where she enjoys sex and gets off, she is almost ALWAYS in a lot better mood and happier with herself. The thing is i am tired of always having to instigate sex!!!! About a year ago she woke me up at 3am for sex and it was TOTALLY AWESOME and a great change of pace!!! It just rarely happens!!! I have had many opportunities to cheat but i love her and the kids to much to do it!!!!!! Please give me some ideas! It's been over a month now and i am on the verge of having a fling!!!

hello unlucky,
okay first off please hold out on the fling thing!!!!! if you do really truly love your wife and kids then just wait a bit. this ones kind of a tuffy. let me start out by maybe suggesting if you haven't already done so talk to her sit her down and stand your ground about this be blunt, straight forward and tell her your true feelings and thoughts about this and also remind her you do have needs as a man and her husband. really try to get down to the root of the problem ask her to be totally honest with you even if it might hurt your feelings. you do deserve that much. tell her that the tired thing isn't working any more and you want some answers. maybe another thing to try is spice up things in the bedroom. role play, whipped cream or suprise her with a nice dinner maybe get a sitter for the night and just romance her all night long. be spontaneous. i know i like it when my hubby cooks for me even if i didn't like the meal he prepared i still think it's a sweet notion and he thought of me enough to try it. or get a bubble bath going with lots of candles and maybe some rose petals in the bath water then have a romantic bath. just a few suggestions for you. well i hope things work out for you........

wow unlucky,
gosh what is she so uptight about? sounds like to me she is trying to push you away. i'm 38 and i haven't lost the urge to have sex with my hubby. and yes i can be exausted from the kids we have 4 boys ages 7,14,16,18. but at the end of the night no matter what i still desire to have my husband sexually. sounds like she is just shutting you out little by little and i don't think it is fair for you that you have to TALK her into having sex. it has got to be hurtful to you when she just tells you go out and find someone else if you don't like it!!!! well she better be careful she might just get what she wished for. you sound like a really nice guy and you don't deserve to be treated by someone like it especially your wife. well i hope things get better for you......

who knows maybe your little tactic might work. maybe drive a little longer than around the block though. maybe for 20 or 30 minutes. get her thinking. because you sometimes take things for granted and not realize what you have until it's really gone. well keep us posted here and good luck!!!!!!!

UL,

I hear you loud and clear. I think a lot of women and some men to have close to no libido at all. My wife bless her soul has rarely ever wanted sex in her whole life (She's 35). We had a fight about it one night last fall and she told me alot that I didn't know. I ran across another board with a group of women taking fish oil with great sucess. During a second fight about sex, I mentioned the fish oil diet. I sold it hard also mentioning the multitude of health benefits of fish oil. She agreed and the rest is history. We were in Vegas this week with 2 other couples, she starting taking the fish oil and vitiamin after diner and my SIL asked what she was taking. She told them the whole story beaming eye to eye, quote " I used to do it for him, now I do it for both of us" "The O is stronger and longer"

This diet has helped my wife at least one coworker and one friend of mine. I will be glad to answer any questions you have. This has made me a very happy guy.

Regards!