Thread: help with 3somes

l have a boyfriend and we have been together for year and half and lwe have family.He has just told me that he would like to have a 3some with me and my best friend.He has been in a 3some twice before l was in the pic.
l am worried that it could come between us and l just feel like l could not see him having sex with someone other then me. What should l do?

Originally Posted by swee2886

l have a boyfriend and we have been together for year and half and lwe have family.He has just told me that he would like to have a 3some with me and my best friend.He has been in a 3some twice before l was in the pic.
l am worried that it could come between us and l just feel like l could not see him having sex with someone other then me. What should l do?

It is a major mine field. You might be badly bothered by it. What would happen to your relationship with your best friend? Is she up for it - and what about her SO (if any)?

Are you and your friend partially bisexual? My personal belief is that this is important for a 3some. If you and she are excited by each other, and by your man, great -but if not how will you feel about intimite contact with here?

I'm all for experimentation - but with 3 people involved this could become a real problem. I know that sometimes 3somes can work, but I've also heard of disasters.

Bottom line: I think it is OK for him to ask, but if you are not comfortable you should say no, and he should be happy with that.

I am a man. If my wife was interested in a 3some with another woman, I would be happy to try - but it is certainly not something I expect in a relationship, or something I would ask for. If my wife wanted a thressome with anouther man, I think I would politely decline.

Originally Posted by swee2886

l have a boyfriend and we have been together for year and half and lwe have family.He has just told me that he would like to have a 3some with me and my best friend.He has been in a 3some twice before l was in the pic.
l am worried that it could come between us and l just feel like l could not see him having sex with someone other then me. What should l do?

Honey, the fact that you could not bear to see him making love to another woman answers your own question. It would kill me to see my husband loving another woman like he makes love to me........And yes, it could come between you and your friend and even the two of you if he does not change. Do what your heart tells you to do.....Much luck....

He had two other 3somes when l wasn't in the pic. l am worried that with him thinking about some like that would he love me less.Or is this something l should rethink about our relationship? l don't have any feeling about doing something like that with my best friend.Or with any women or man.I'm l being to harsh about it help me.

My husband and I decided to have a threesome with my best friend and if it hadden't of been for the strong relationship that her and I shared, I would have lost her as my friend for good. It was hard seeing the two people that I cared about engaged in a sexual act. We had a threesome before with a girl I knew who was just a friend, but that was easier because I barely ever saw her. After it happened with my bestfriend it was really akward to see her and not get that mental picture of her and my husband together. It did help that I was the one who got to decide on who the other female was. Be very cautious.You could loose the both of them...

I would love to have a 3 some but I know my marriage would never be the same. So I would never ask my wife to do something so out of her character. Even if she was doing it just for me. You really should go with your gut feeling and honor that. Your feelings and relationship will change towards him. He's done this before and he's not with that women, "what does that tell you". Let it go and just say " no".

Some things are better left to fantasy. Does it bother you that:

1. Your husband wants to have sex with your best friend, or
2. That she'd agree to it...

I'd forever after be worried about them being in the same room together. I would always think since they both wanted it, they'd been attracted to each other for a while.

I'm also pretty jealous when it comes to my husband wanting to have sex with anyone other than me, and he's pretty jealous too!

When you say you don't have any feeling about doing something like that with your best friend, do you mean it doesn't bother you one way or the other, or you don't want to do something like that with your best friend?

Originally Posted by LadyLane

Some things are better left to fantasy. Does it bother you that:

1. Your husband wants to have sex with your best friend, or
2. That she'd agree to it...

I'd forever after be worried about them being in the same room together. I would always think since they both wanted it, they'd been attracted to each other for a while.

I'm also pretty jealous when it comes to my husband wanting to have sex with anyone other than me, and he's pretty jealous too!

When you say you don't have any feeling about doing something like that with your best friend, do you mean it doesn't bother you one way or the other, or you don't want to do something like that with your best friend?

I'm not sure either 1 or 2 are particularly bad. Many men would like to have sex with other women - if their spouses were involved. It is such a common fantasy that I can't criticize it. I think it is only a problem if he pressures you to do it, or if you think he would sleep with her without your agreement .

I really wouldn't like to see it with someone l know very well me and my best friend have been friends since l was 12 years old and the fact of see my boyfriend with ANYONE sharing what we do in bed together would really upset me.She didn't say she would go throw with it. It just shock me that he would just say he would and to do it with her.It just felt so blunt.

Ouch. Well, maybe he thought you might warm to the idea better if it was someone you knew, rather than a stranger. If it was someone "safe."

rcoreyus - if my husband let me know that he wanted a threesome with my best friend and me, the first thing out of my mouth would be, "Really? So how long have you wanted to f*** her?" Because once that's on the table, there's no getting around it. He's obviously thought of the best friend in a sexual way, and asking for a threesome is asking permission to boink your best friend while you're there. Yeah, maybe he wants to see the ladies together sexually, but again, if my husband is fantasizing about my best friend, we're fighting. Period.

I'm just saying that there's a reason its a "big" fantasy. I know a couple who pretends other people are watching them or that they're having sex with other people... they go crazy on each other when they talk about it - it's all role play and imagination. And to me, that's where it is better left, for sake of the relationship.