Thread: Is my boyfriend bi or gay? help

She's not saying she's homophobic; she's saying she doesn't want her man having sex with another guy. I think Caroline meant it in the context of what was asked: Swee2886 is in a relationship, boyfriend said he'd like to try anal with another guy.

In the context of that relationship, thinking he might want to, but only saying the words and never doing it makes him "curious" or "bi-curious" or however it is termed. Also in the context of the relationship, acting on what he wants to do is, for Caroline, cheating, as well as probably being gay. So for her, that is the relationship line in the sand.

Swee2886, if you're okay with him doing it, and you're there, he's fulfilling a fantasy; but I'm not sure if that fantasy is truly involving you, or if he just wants you there to justify that he wants to do it, you know? If my husband copped to wanting that, I'd be worried. I think if a man wants to have sex with another man, he's either bi or gay. I personally don't believe that men go through that college-experimentation-bisexual phase that women do. I'm just saying, what if he ends up enjoying what he's doing more with the guy than what he does with you? A taste of honey is worse than none at all, as the old song goes. I second that emotion.

Originally Posted by LadyLane

She's not saying she's homophobic; she's saying she doesn't want her man having sex with another guy. I think Caroline meant it in the context of what was asked: Swee2886 is in a relationship, boyfriend said he'd like to try anal with another guy.

In the context of that relationship, thinking he might want to, but only saying the words and never doing it makes him "curious" or "bi-curious" or however it is termed. Also in the context of the relationship, acting on what he wants to do is, for Caroline, cheating, as well as probably being gay. So for her, that is the relationship line in the sand.

Swee2886, if you're okay with him doing it, and you're there, he's fulfilling a fantasy; but I'm not sure if that fantasy is truly involving you, or if he just wants you there to justify that he wants to do it, you know? If my husband copped to wanting that, I'd be worried. I think if a man wants to have sex with another man, he's either bi or gay. I personally don't believe that men go through that college-experimentation-bisexual phase that women do. I'm just saying, what if he ends up enjoying what he's doing more with the guy than what he does with you? A taste of honey is worse than none at all, as the old song goes. I second that emotion.

Thank you. That is exactly what I was saying. As far as there being such a great age difference in my way of thinking and Anon, that is ridiculous. I never knew drugs, but I am about as high on life as anyone can be. No drug could be better than how I feel. In my high school graduating class, four of the five homosexual men died of HIV-AIDS virus so homosexuality was very prevalent. Anon has no idea on how up on life I am. Absolutely no idea.

There defiantly is a line. I believe once you are in a relationship or married unless both agree, that this line should not be crossed. You are asking for tr ouble. A women can cross the line with another woman and have sex and love it. But chances are she will always go back to man because he has the one thing that gratifies her. His c*ck. That erotic piece of manhood that fills her and she loves to play with it. There is nothing as sexual as sucking a man's ****. Unless it is inserting it inside her but it is a close tie... This cannot be done by another woman.

A man, however, has another option. Another man can perform anal on him and the feeling inside of that wonderful piece of meat will bring him to a place that a woman can never fulfill. A finger or a dildo against 12 inches of hot man. (I am getting horny writing this) He can take that same man and stick his object of love in his mouth and he will blow him while he still is able to enjoy all his sexual fantasies being fulfilled. He can be all the lover to another man that a woman can be. I feel that a woman cannot be a challenge to a man that truly wants the man on man relationship. What I have between my legs would not hold a candle to another man's c*ck going into a man that wants to try this. That is the line. Once he tries it, he may never be satisfied with a woman again. That is just a fact of life.

This would be my fear as a woman if my man wanted to have sex with another man. Let sleeping dogs lie. Think about it in your mind but don't wake it up and fulfill your dream. It could turn into a nighmare...

It is very much said what lady Jane has said.
He has asked me if l would have a 3some with a girl not long ago.
I think it is a fantasy that he would like to try with me.
l know he like this 3some thing.
And he wonders what it would be like with another guy and he would like me to be to included.
so is this just some fantasy he is going throw??
I really don't want to do this 3some thing it has gone from a girl to a guy.
And now l am trying to avoid the whole subject.
I have told him no.
And now it has got me thinking if he is bi?

Originally Posted by LadyLane

She's not saying she's homophobic; she's saying she doesn't want her man having sex with another guy.

I did ask her if she meant generally or in the confines of this relationship, but she only answered with "we're different" so I guessed she meant all cases... [/quote]

Originally Posted by CarolineWH

Thank you. That is exactly what I was saying. As far as there being such a great age difference in my way of thinking and Anon, that is ridiculous...Anon has no idea on how up on life I am. Absolutely no idea.

You might very well be up on life, it's just that you gave a pretty good impression of homophobia just then - apparently we're not supposed to think of gays as AIDS bearers...

It's interesting though that you both think sex with men would be better.... It's a shame men are ugly though. If men could procreate then women may be a bit stuffed - more sex, easier to understand, less dependant etc...

Well, you shouldn't call people names without being sure. Because I get a misogynistic feel from some of your posts sometimes, but I would never call you that.

You might very well be up on life, it's just that you gave a pretty good impression of homophobia just then - apparently we're not supposed to think of gays as AIDS bearers... [/quote]

She said they died of it; she didn't ever call them "bearers."

Swee2886 - If you are not comfortable having a threesome, do not do it. And tell him you won't do it. And I would be honest - you could say the fact that he wants to try a threesome with a guy, even with you there, makes you wonder if he's bi. It may be good to get a dialogue going; maybe a friend of his had a threesome and he really wants to try it, or he got the idea from porn. Find out where the curiousity came from, and let him know your concerns of bringing someone else into your sexual relationship.

Originally Posted by LadyLane

Well, you shouldn't call people names without being sure. Because I get a misogynistic feel from some of your posts sometimes, but I would never call you that.

You just did - but I don't mind . I don't sugarcoat my opinions to anyone, so a lot of people probably think I hate them. As for me responding like that to CarolineWH, she really made it quite obvious how she feels on the subject - and I did ask her the clarifying question needed, she just chose to ignore it.

Originally Posted by LadyLane

She said they died of it; she didn't ever call them "bearers."

I don't see your distinction.

Back to the original question at hand: is your boyfriend gay or bi...I think he would be bi-curious. Its different if he wanted to feel that sensation from a woman (using a dildo, anal beads, or something like that) because he wants to feel the orgasmic feeling that comes with it. But to me, once he has the desire to feel that connection from a man....he's bi-curious. Would be the same with a woman...if she has the desire to have another woman perform oral on her, kiss on her and other things, then she at that point, is bi-curious.

Originally Posted by swee2886

[SIZE=3][FONT=Arial Black]
So l asked him has he ever wanted to do it for real with a guy.
He said that he would but it would be a once off thing just something to try different and only if l was there.

Originally Posted by swee2886

[SIZE=3][FONT=Arial Black]
He has asked me if l would have a 3some with a girl not long ago.
I think it is a fantasy that he would like to try with me.
.................................................. .........................................
l know he like this 3some thing.
And he wonders what it would be like with another guy and he would like me to be to included.
.................................................. .........................................
I really don't want to do this 3some thing it has gone from a girl to a guy.

To give my very modest opinion, as a man, I think what your BF may be interested in is actually a "gang bang", Not a threesome. I would seriously talk with your BF if its fantasy to have you worked by two guys at once with no interaction between the men, or an actual all-out threeway with oral sex and/or intercourse between the men. Very different activities.