Painful sex

abby1986 · 01-23-2008, 09:04 PM

My ex-boyfriend was extremely rough, forceful, and I guess sexually abusive with me as he would have sex with me when I was unwilling and would not stop even if I was crying and pushing him away. It seemed that it turned him on even more so if I was in pain. Anyway I am now with a great guy and he knows of my past, but not in detail. Even though it has been a year or so since I had sex with my ex I still from time to time experience pain when having sex with my current boyfriend. It was so painful the other day it made me cry! Is this normal? Do people usually experience pain during sex every now and again? This may seem like a silly question but these are the only two peole I have had sex with. I'd appreciate any answers and help!! Thanx...

octobersunset · 01-23-2008, 10:00 PM

My guess is maybe sex does bring back bad memories, therefore maybe on an unconcious level you relate sex to pain?

Also you may be really nervous about having sex with a new person, that you may be clenching your vaginal walls, making it even more painful too. Definitely try to feel more relaxed, and get some lubrication to help as well.

Sometimes around my period, I feel a bit of pain if I'm not wet enough, but I think that's something different all together!

**rcoreyus** · 01-24-2008, 09:36 AM

Let your new BF know when he unintentionally hurts you. Expressions and sounds of pain and pleasure can look very similar - and he probably doesn't know. When it hurts, stop, and do something else for him.

jazzygal72 · 01-24-2008, 09:13 PM

Try some lube, and ask him to be gentle. I hope it helps. I'm sorry for what you went through.

**sweetie27** · 01-25-2008, 04:37 AM

try different positions too. You may just be sensitive in certain positions.

abby1986 · 01-25-2008, 08:30 PM

Thanx for all your help and suggestions!

J3nnyuk · 01-28-2008, 11:59 AM

hi every1 i just want to ask i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and he has a large penis and sometimes when we have sex it hurts me just below my stomach i was wondering is this bad? or is it because he is big plz help thx

**Little** · 01-28-2008, 05:06 PM

Jenny: Try positions that don't let him penetrate as deep ... like your basic missionary (legs on bed, not held up) or doggy ... or just try riding him and don't take the whole thing.
See if this alleviates your pain ... if it doesn't, you do need to see a doc, but as you're describing it, I think he's just ramming you a little too hard and deep.
Good luck.

J3nnyuk · 01-29-2008, 01:11 PM

thx 4 advice little really appreciate it

Mylut · 03-03-2008, 04:05 AM

I know what you mean. I had painful sex and I thought that sex is awful thing. I had to take the course of Sentia pills to have normal sex without pain.

01-23-2008, 09:04 PM	#1
abby1986 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 4	Painful sex My ex-boyfriend was extremely rough, forceful, and I guess sexually abusive with me as he would have sex with me when I was unwilling and would not stop even if I was crying and pushing him away. It seemed that it turned him on even more so if I was in pain. Anyway I am now with a great guy and he knows of my past, but not in detail. Even though it has been a year or so since I had sex with my ex I still from time to time experience pain when having sex with my current boyfriend. It was so painful the other day it made me cry! Is this normal? Do people usually experience pain during sex every now and again? This may seem like a silly question but these are the only two peole I have had sex with. I'd appreciate any answers and help!! Thanx...

01-28-2008, 11:59 AM	#7
J3nnyuk Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: stockport Posts: 13	painful sex hi every1 i just want to ask i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and he has a large penis and sometimes when we have sex it hurts me just below my stomach i was wondering is this bad? or is it because he is big plz help thx __________________ J3nny

01-29-2008, 01:11 PM	#9
J3nnyuk Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: stockport Posts: 13	painful sex thx 4 advice little really appreciate it __________________ J3nny

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01-23-2008, 10:00 PM	#2
octobersunset Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 5	My guess is maybe sex does bring back bad memories, therefore maybe on an unconcious level you relate sex to pain? Also you may be really nervous about having sex with a new person, that you may be clenching your vaginal walls, making it even more painful too. Definitely try to feel more relaxed, and get some lubrication to help as well. Sometimes around my period, I feel a bit of pain if I'm not wet enough, but I think that's something different all together!

01-24-2008, 09:36 AM	#3
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SF bay area Posts: 1,334	Let your new BF know when he unintentionally hurts you. Expressions and sounds of pain and pleasure can look very similar - and he probably doesn't know. When it hurts, stop, and do something else for him.

01-24-2008, 09:13 PM	#4
jazzygal72 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Washington Posts: 23	Try some lube, and ask him to be gentle. I hope it helps. I'm sorry for what you went through.

01-25-2008, 04:37 AM	#5
sweetie27 VIP Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Mass Posts: 88	try different positions too. You may just be sensitive in certain positions.

01-25-2008, 08:30 PM	#6
abby1986 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 4	Thanx for all your help and suggestions!

01-28-2008, 05:06 PM	#8
Little WH Junior Administrator Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: whjuniorad[at]hotmail[dot]com Posts: 1,559 Blog Entries: 4	Jenny: Try positions that don't let him penetrate as deep ... like your basic missionary (legs on bed, not held up) or doggy ... or just try riding him and don't take the whole thing. See if this alleviates your pain ... if it doesn't, you do need to see a doc, but as you're describing it, I think he's just ramming you a little too hard and deep. Good luck.

03-03-2008, 04:05 AM	#10
Mylut Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 3	I know what you mean. I had painful sex and I thought that sex is awful thing. I had to take the course of Sentia pills to have normal sex without pain.