Thread: Orgasims!? psh...

Ok, so I'm relativly new at this whole... sex thing. Me and my Boyfriend both lost our virginity to eachother, so I'd say... we're both somewhat lost. I'd say it really doesn't matter, except that he finishes so quickly. I never even have a chance. Only when I'm on top, is his pleasure... prolonged. And even then... I havn't orgasimed. I came Very close! But lost it.

What can I do? Is it me??? or him? I feel bad, but when he asks I just lie and say I'm finished. I just don't really know what to do.

Help would be great!
Thanx

First - please don't tell him you finished if you didn't. He will never learn what you like, and will probably feel hurt if he finds out.

There are several things you can try. Not everything works for everyone -but some ideas:

Have him do oral on you until you are almost finished, then ride him.

Let him finish quickly,

Sorry, accidently hit the post button, can't edit. Lets try again.

First - please don't tell him you finished if you didn't. He will never learn what you like, and will probably feel hurt if he finds out.

There are several things you can try. Not everything works for everyone -but some ideas:

Have him do oral on you until you are almost finished, then ride him.

Let him finish quickly,
then after a few minutes get him aroused again (oral?). Men are usually slower the next time. Repeat as necessary. The "recovery" time for men varies from almost nothing to maybe a half hour.

Stimulate yourself while riding him - you know what you like. Fingers or vibrator.

Don't rely on intercourse for orgasm. Let him use oral, fingers, whatever you like to get you off, then take care of him.

After he has finished, let him continue to stimulate you with a toy.

A lot of young men (which I assume he is) are too quick. It will change with time.


What I would not recommend:

Lying to him about having an orgasm.
Blaming him if you don't - make it a fun game, not a chore to get you off.


Good luck and have fun

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

First - please don't tell him you finished if you didn't. He will never learn what you like, and will probably feel hurt if he finds out.

Rcoreyus is absolutely right here! It doesn't do you any good nor does it do him any good if you aren't truthful about it.

Lying is bad: One, he'll think he's doing a great job, when he isn't, and two, you'll never get him to please you properly if he thinks he already is!

I'm guessing you've had them before since you know for sure you aren't having them now. Rcoreyus gave great ideas and all things I would suggest. The best one is to let him finish fast, then go again after about fifteen, twenty minutes.

Show him and tell him what you like, and encourage him to do the same with you. Don't take it so seriously and you can have lots of fun, and lots of great sex at the same time!

Here are a few tips:

1 - Have a all about him night, than have an all about you night. And don't fake it.

2 - Here's a trip from a personal experience: When I was young and dumb and dating a more experienced girl, she did something amazing. I walked into her bedroom and she blindfolded me, told me to lay down and enjoy the ride. She stripped me naked, put the condom on me with her mouth (always a turn on) and got on top reverse cowboy style (so I peeked). Since I was young and inexperienced it took about 4 minutes before I was ready to cum. She knew my "I'm about to cum signals" and slid back, thrusting her vagina in my face, ripping off the condom and bringing me to orgasm with oral sex. She took it all in her mouth (swallowing) but kept me erect using her mouth, hands, tongue, breasts, breath and hair. All the while I was giving her oral (69 position) and keeping her stimulated. When my erection was to her liking, she threw on another condom that she had handy (because re-using one is gross) and slid back on. To my surprise my erection was even harder than before and she was able to ride to multiple orgasms - after which I turned the tables and got on top (doggystyle) for my 2nd orgasm. To this day this was a memorable sexual experience because of everything it entailed - she planned it out, did amazing things to me that I had never experienced before and I was able to satisfy her better than ever. Try it - you won't be disappointed.

4 - Be open and talk to him. It'd be a shame to waste an amazing opportunity to learn and grow together because you are afraid of hurting his feelings.

Let me know if any of this works.