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Thread: Why does my husband masterbate in his sleep?

  1. #31
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    I spoke with my husband and laid out all the cards. He told me that he masterbate all most every day. That is not personal just that he needs to releive himself. His job get to him (he is in law enforcementfor 10yr) see a lot. That it easier to do it in the shower and not to bother me knowing I had a long day. than he says is there a problem when ever I wanted sex or other stuff he was right there for me. But that would mean he would cum two or three time a day. Is that a lot? Thanks you for all the help.

  2. #32
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array hello_pitty's Avatar
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    Maybe have him fall asleep with a condom on so there's no mess?????

    I dunno, but this all seems normal to me, especially if he works a hard job like he does!!
    "I might be a little young, but honey I ain't naive"
    "If it ain't an APBT, it's just a dog"


  3. #33
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    To answer your question, no two or three times a day is not a lot. You can't make such a blanket statement about men any more than you can about women.

    One of the reasons guys masturbate, even if they have a woman in their lives, is that it just feels good to come, then do it again an hour later. The production of sperm / semen will keep up with the demand. It's hard to explain but it just feels better to keep it flowing through the system. The guy would be kind of a pig if he expected you to just "relieve" him that often.

    Some doctors will actually tell a guy to relieve himself frequently because it can help to reduce the risk of prostate gland problems. So, yeah, it can be considered a men's health issue.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Richard S View Post
    To answer your question, no two or three times a day is not a lot. You can't make such a blanket statement about men any more than you can about women.

    One of the reasons guys masturbate, even if they have a woman in their lives, is that it just feels good to come, then do it again an hour later. The production of sperm / semen will keep up with the demand. It's hard to explain but it just feels better to keep it flowing through the system. The guy would be kind of a pig if he expected you to just "relieve" him that often.

    Some doctors will actually tell a guy to relieve himself frequently because it can help to reduce the risk of prostate gland problems. So, yeah, it can be considered a men's health issue.
    With your saying this, then it can also be a woman's problem...We have sex say two to three times a week..Yet in the course of that 7 day span he has to relieve me two more times...He has to...I can do this with the Eroscillator but he hates it...This is when he Finger F's me...Very often he will incooperate this with eating me when he gets too carried away and very often this will lead to full sex. I ejaculate...Actually I am a mess. This is part of who I am after the big happening. I saturate the bed. Each time he does this to me the water runs out of me...Probably from one quarter of a cup or more.. It relieves the pressure high inside me..Touching my g-spot or pleasuring me or eating me will relieve it and let it flow...Stimulating me is the answer.....It is a necessary thing...Maybe like a man needs to be relieved, so do I only more....

    So often I wonder where science has messed up with these glands that allow a woman to let herself go. There is a story behind this as mine let loose slowly...At first it was as if the urine would not come out...Came out in spurts..This went on for weeks and then all the sudden I was able to pee like I used to and the pleasures that let loose have changed all of who I am...

    Interesting how the inner woman works....I guess I am truly happy it did not hit me until this late age in life....I could have been hell on wheels...TC, C

  5. #35
    May 2008 "Poster of the Month" Array anonymouswhitefemale's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChelseaRenee View Post
    It's easy for someone who isn't in her shoes to say "get over it". It's her right to be annoyed or hurt, no matter how dumb anyone thinks her reasoning. And you crossed the line in assuming she sees him as an "asexual "sponser" for her children". She's asking about a specific problem, not your thoughts on her entire relationship and children.
    When I see someone being completely unreasonable, I will tell someone to get over it. Just like if I was being unreasonable I would expect the same. It doesn't do anyone any good to pander to what someone wants to hear. The reason for my other statement is that she has absolutely no understanding, and no drive to understand the sexuality of the man she married. The fact that she's so uptight about this makes me think that she doesn't acknowledge her mans sexual needs, and without a good sex understanding a relationship is just a deal for mutual benefit. Or the benefit of some children, or whatever. As for her not asking about the overall relationship: If someone on a forum asked for advice on how to bury the body of their most recent victim, someone would tell him not to kill someone. That wasn't what he asked for though.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonymouswhitefemale View Post
    When I see someone being completely unreasonable, I will tell someone to get over it. Just like if I was being unreasonable I would expect the same. It doesn't do anyone any good to pander to what someone wants to hear. The reason for my other statement is that she has absolutely no understanding, and no drive to understand the sexuality of the man she married. The fact that she's so uptight about this makes me think that she doesn't acknowledge her mans sexual needs, and without a good sex understanding a relationship is just a deal for mutual benefit. Or the benefit of some children, or whatever. As for her not asking about the overall relationship: If someone on a forum asked for advice on how to bury the body of their most recent victim, someone would tell him not to kill someone. That wasn't what he asked for though.
    I'd venture to guess she has a much better understanding of his sexuality than you would. She had a concern, and brought it here. For advice, not from someone who seems incredibly bitter about women to hurl petty personal insults about her family. You have said at least 20 times since you've been here what a complete lack of understanding we silly women have of you complex men folk. Could we all gain a little something from the perspective of someone on the other side? Sure. But in a productive manner. There are a lot of men on here who give some of the best advice anyone could hope for. Yours seem to be accusatory and completely without understanding for the person asking advice. I KNOW you probably have some great advice to offer. Try doing it in a nicer way. People will be more inclined to listen.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChelseaRenee View Post
    I'd venture to guess she has a much better understanding of his sexuality than you would. She had a concern, and brought it here. For advice, not from someone who seems incredibly bitter about women to hurl petty personal insults about her family. You have said at least 20 times since you've been here what a complete lack of understanding we silly women have of you complex men folk. Could we all gain a little something from the perspective of someone on the other side? Sure. But in a productive manner. There are a lot of men on here who give some of the best advice anyone could hope for. Yours seem to be accusatory and completely without understanding for the person asking advice. I KNOW you probably have some great advice to offer. Try doing it in a nicer way. People will be more inclined to listen.
    Sorry Anon, I have to agree with Chelsea here, but you already know that, I've said it before on another thread.

  8. #38
    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    You are opening up "Pandora's Box" truly.

    Your initial question was about him masturbating whilst asleep and that you continually woke him up so he wouldn't cum on the sheets, i read another statement where you said that you asked him what he was dreaming of and he stated that he doesn't remember who? Just that he cums, and then i read that he stated when you want something i'm there, i just like to masterbate.

    I think he is telling you quite clearly, stop being paranoid, it's natural, i satisfy you.

    But is he saying you satisfy him?

    Your working yourself up for no sex at all soon i think.

    1. First, when he masterbates in his sleep, why not add your bit, then he will 1) feel you and 2) cum on you instead of the sheets.

    2. Understand the normality of a man masturbating, the amount of times is an individual thing. Perhaps purchase a book and start reading as you need to understand your partner.

    3. Believe him. He has said that he just likes to do it, he works hard and it's a release, don't question it.

    4. Perhaps start to join in more often with him orally, when he doesn't expect it, as it seems he doesn't want to worry you and goes of and does it on his own, why is that perhaps? He may be looking at his wife for a more involved sexual partner people change sexually as they get older and if he works so hard in a Police environment, there is a lot of bad things he sees every day, masturbation may help him by putting him on a high so to speak, where he feels good.

    Hate to tell you this, but i live a very stressful life and masturbating relieves me and makes me feel mellow, so i forget the stress, of course i visualise my guy in front of me but that's not the cause, or effect it's a relief of sexual tention as well as tention in general.

    I can only say you do need to understand more and perhaps be there more you may be shocked and suprised of that little inner child you bring out of yourself as a result and he may not have the need as much as he does now if you play as well.

    That's true marriage in my books, love him in every fashion to death, not just keeping the house and cooking his meals and he will back, 10 fold....

    Just my opinion.


  9. #39
    Junior Member Array nikki22's Avatar
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    This thread has gone on WAY to long. I'm sorry to be so harsh honey, but your husband masturbates because he is a human being. Simple as that. The more often he does it, the LESS sex he is getting.

    We are sexual human beings with needs that need to be taken care of. You are lucky he is using his hand and not another person.

    Calm down and quit over reacting. He doesn't do this cause he doesn't love you, or isn't turned on by you. Next time he starts, take over.. I'm sure he would MUCH rather prefer you involved.

  10. #40
    May 2008 "Poster of the Month" Array anonymouswhitefemale's Avatar
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    Chelsea and fallen:

    I know that often what I say could be construed offensively. I don't really mind that. I didn't come here to make friends. You girls do know that most of the time you get advice from men they're just telling you what you want to hear so they have a better chance of getting in your pants?

    People come here because they need impartial advice, but all too often it's just a lot of women supporting each other in things which are wrong. Yes, I understand people have feelings, but feelings are not more important than what is right and what is wrong. Also, I think that if a guy tells a woman that from man's point of view she's being ludicrous, she might try to reevaluate herself a bit better than if someone said "you know, I can see where you're coming from, and your right to feel the way you do, although perhaps it may just help a little bit to possibly think about it a bit more?"

    Also, didn't you notice a few women telling her to get over herself?


    Anyway, I'm nice to people if I have a reason to be, otherwise I do my best to get my point across. Given how limiting textual communication can be I think I'm entitled to that freedom.


    So people get insulted from time to time - you can't get through life without getting your pride knocked, and I think we should have a bit more respect for people in that they can handle it a bit better than you think!



    And in case any of you were wondering, im not a complete mysogenist, I talk the same to men as to women.

    Peace.

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