Overweight and on top...help?

katydid · 02-06-2008, 12:58 PM

Here is the problem. My husband and I have been together many years. I am overweight, like 50 lbs. overweight. He is always begging me to get on top. I am embarassed to, even though I want to really bad, because of my weight and I am not really sure how to do it this way. I think it would be a huge turn on for us both because he loves me for me. I just don't want to be horrible at it. Any suggestions on techniques being a larger woman?

**AfterChildren** · 02-06-2008, 07:38 PM

To be honest, there really isn't any diffrence... I am 70 lbs. overweight and I have no problems being on top. You may need to hold yourself up with your arms beside his head or shoulders, but that's about it. You could also try turning around so you are facing his feet. Since you have been together for so long, you ahould be comfortable with him, so all you can do is try.... Good luck

C · 02-07-2008, 05:21 PM

I think the best way to ride him is facing the front. When I first tried this I had a few extra pounds on me too and I am far from a bean pole now.....but happy....I have heard something once about reverse cowgirl and being careful of the fracture of the penis. Something about stretching it back too far..

I get on top of him and lean forward. That way I can make love to him. I am the one that can lean down and lick his lips and kiss him. I love bringing my breast's to him and dragging a nipple across his mouth. It keeps him hard by stimulating him this way. Talking dirty to a man in this postition can drive him wild. You can feel the hardness occurring as you talk. The movement inside you is awesome and if you feel you can bend back and put your hands on his legs and leave your breast's exposed it is one trip.....

I have found that leaning forward while doing this stimulates my clit and sure can get me off.....Just so many wonderful sexual things you can do and really weight does not mean a thing.........Have fun...Sex can be wild and magic

**Little** · 02-07-2008, 06:37 PM

I've got my fair share of fat, and the "on top" position has been confusing for me ... it's something my boyfriend has had to be patient with as I "learned how" to do it. [It's a long distance relationship, so we don't get to have a lot of sex.]
I do feel a little self-conscious about my tummy, but otherwise it's just something I have had to "feel out" ... what feels good to me, what feels good to him ... like Caroline said, clitoris stimulation is a great plus to this position!
If you lift your hips up a bit, he can thrust with you on top, too, and I don't know if it's the angle on me or what, but that's one of my favourite positions

**rcoreyus** · 02-08-2008, 12:09 AM

You might want to put a pillow under his knees. Mine bend backwards a bit when my wife rides me. Then get sore a couple of days later. Took me the longest time to find the connection - was getting near having knee surgery. (really).

**SinisterUrge** · 02-10-2008, 02:59 PM

There will likely be no physical barrier for your spouse. A man's hips can support a tremendous amount of weight when he is on his back (hundreds upon hundreds of pounds).

But regardless of weight DO NOT start bouncing up and down like its a pogo stick! That may look fun and flashy in pornography movies where all the men are hung like moose (or is that mooses...moosi?) but for those of us with more mainstream proportions (men like women who know flattering euphemisms for "average" even if they dont know it

) this could lead to some very painful moments! I suggest letting him do most of the thrust function while you operate in a side-to-side or circular motion.

**Little** · 02-10-2008, 03:35 PM

Thank you, SinisterUrge! I didn't know that you weren't supposed to bounce ... I was wondering why I didn't feel anything when I did that ... oy with the porn movies teaching incorrect form.

**rcoreyus** · 02-12-2008, 12:33 AM

Bouncing can work too. Basically do whatever feels nice to you, that will probably feel nice to him as well. Just like sex with him on top, sometimes slow is nice sometimes fast.

Drakes · 09-02-2008, 02:09 AM

I remember when I was a bit younger. I was never skinny, but I didn't have a problem going on top.
Now its been so long I forgot how to do it

)
I met my boyfriend after I broke my leg. Its been almost 2 years since then, and not only did I gain massive weight, but I have been in pain and limping since.
I lost a lot of confidence in myself since I had to stop going to the gym, and after spending 4 months in a wheel chair.
The thing these days is missionary, with not much variation, since I had not been able to bend my leg or ankle. And yet, even though I KNOW he would like me to be on top, he's never asked, or said anything about the fact that I won't.

Last week I realized one night that I couldn't feel my leg.... meaning I was NOT in pain anymore. I am not limping anymore either!!!
I would love to try going on top as much for him as for myself, but honestly, I forgot.

That is how I found this board

)

After reading what you guys had to say, I had to join this site and stay around. Thank you for helping to give me a bit of confidence back

) You have no idea how valuable that has been for me after all I've been through.

THANK YOU

)

**Richard S** · 09-02-2008, 11:47 AM

One bit of advice. Be careful about where you do it. Me and my wife don't really like our bed. I mean, it's fine for sleeping but we have better sex on a Futon, or just the floor with some blankets spread out. Something about how the bed absorbs energy, it's much easier to get leverage in certain positions when you're on a firmer surface.

02-06-2008, 12:58 PM	#1
katydid Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 5	Overweight and on top...help? Here is the problem. My husband and I have been together many years. I am overweight, like 50 lbs. overweight. He is always begging me to get on top. I am embarassed to, even though I want to really bad, because of my weight and I am not really sure how to do it this way. I think it would be a huge turn on for us both because he loves me for me. I just don't want to be horrible at it. Any suggestions on techniques being a larger woman?

02-06-2008, 07:38 PM	#2
AfterChildren VIP Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: In South Carolina Posts: 39	To be honest, there really isn't any diffrence... I am 70 lbs. overweight and I have no problems being on top. You may need to hold yourself up with your arms beside his head or shoulders, but that's about it. You could also try turning around so you are facing his feet. Since you have been together for so long, you ahould be comfortable with him, so all you can do is try.... Good luck __________________ If you want me to remember it, tattoo it backwards on my forhead... I might see it someday...

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02-07-2008, 05:21 PM	#3
C Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,002	I think the best way to ride him is facing the front. When I first tried this I had a few extra pounds on me too and I am far from a bean pole now.....but happy....I have heard something once about reverse cowgirl and being careful of the fracture of the penis. Something about stretching it back too far.. I get on top of him and lean forward. That way I can make love to him. I am the one that can lean down and lick his lips and kiss him. I love bringing my breast's to him and dragging a nipple across his mouth. It keeps him hard by stimulating him this way. Talking dirty to a man in this postition can drive him wild. You can feel the hardness occurring as you talk. The movement inside you is awesome and if you feel you can bend back and put your hands on his legs and leave your breast's exposed it is one trip..... I have found that leaning forward while doing this stimulates my clit and sure can get me off.....Just so many wonderful sexual things you can do and really weight does not mean a thing.........Have fun...Sex can be wild and magic

02-07-2008, 06:37 PM	#4
Little WH Junior Administrator Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: whjuniorad[at]hotmail[dot]com Posts: 1,559 Blog Entries: 4	I've got my fair share of fat, and the "on top" position has been confusing for me ... it's something my boyfriend has had to be patient with as I "learned how" to do it. [It's a long distance relationship, so we don't get to have a lot of sex.] I do feel a little self-conscious about my tummy, but otherwise it's just something I have had to "feel out" ... what feels good to me, what feels good to him ... like Caroline said, clitoris stimulation is a great plus to this position! If you lift your hips up a bit, he can thrust with you on top, too, and I don't know if it's the angle on me or what, but that's one of my favourite positions

02-08-2008, 12:09 AM	#5
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SF bay area Posts: 1,334	You might want to put a pillow under his knees. Mine bend backwards a bit when my wife rides me. Then get sore a couple of days later. Took me the longest time to find the connection - was getting near having knee surgery. (really).

02-10-2008, 02:59 PM	#6
SinisterUrge Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 423	There will likely be no physical barrier for your spouse. A man's hips can support a tremendous amount of weight when he is on his back (hundreds upon hundreds of pounds). But regardless of weight DO NOT start bouncing up and down like its a pogo stick! That may look fun and flashy in pornography movies where all the men are hung like moose (or is that mooses...moosi?) but for those of us with more mainstream proportions (men like women who know flattering euphemisms for "average" even if they dont know it ) this could lead to some very painful moments! I suggest letting him do most of the thrust function while you operate in a side-to-side or circular motion.

02-10-2008, 03:35 PM	#7
Little WH Junior Administrator Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: whjuniorad[at]hotmail[dot]com Posts: 1,559 Blog Entries: 4	Thank you, SinisterUrge! I didn't know that you weren't supposed to bounce ... I was wondering why I didn't feel anything when I did that ... oy with the porn movies teaching incorrect form.

02-12-2008, 12:33 AM	#8
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SF bay area Posts: 1,334	Bouncing can work too. Basically do whatever feels nice to you, that will probably feel nice to him as well. Just like sex with him on top, sometimes slow is nice sometimes fast.

09-02-2008, 02:09 AM	#9
Drakes Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Posts: 2	I remember when I was a bit younger. I was never skinny, but I didn't have a problem going on top. Now its been so long I forgot how to do it ) I met my boyfriend after I broke my leg. Its been almost 2 years since then, and not only did I gain massive weight, but I have been in pain and limping since. I lost a lot of confidence in myself since I had to stop going to the gym, and after spending 4 months in a wheel chair. The thing these days is missionary, with not much variation, since I had not been able to bend my leg or ankle. And yet, even though I KNOW he would like me to be on top, he's never asked, or said anything about the fact that I won't. Last week I realized one night that I couldn't feel my leg.... meaning I was NOT in pain anymore. I am not limping anymore either!!! I would love to try going on top as much for him as for myself, but honestly, I forgot. That is how I found this board ) After reading what you guys had to say, I had to join this site and stay around. Thank you for helping to give me a bit of confidence back ) You have no idea how valuable that has been for me after all I've been through. THANK YOU )

09-02-2008, 11:47 AM	#10
Richard S Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: USA / California Posts: 246	One bit of advice. Be careful about where you do it. Me and my wife don't really like our bed. I mean, it's fine for sleeping but we have better sex on a Futon, or just the floor with some blankets spread out. Something about how the bed absorbs energy, it's much easier to get leverage in certain positions when you're on a firmer surface.