Thread: An Uninterested Fiance

Originally Posted by metboogie

Is it possible that you 2 aren't as compatible as you thought?

Also, it is VERY possible that his studies are causing elevated stress levels which can DEFINITELY impact his sex drive.

The reality is you 2 have invested 5 years of your life in this relationship - so it's not a tossaway situation.

How long until his doctorate is completed? Can you wait it out until than, and than seek counseling after?

Since you have decided to wait until marriage, I am guessing you are religious...in which case I would tell you to stop worrying about sex and worry about your prayer life...

If not, maybe you should seek God...

Either way, I would back off a little bit. Schedule a time with him to sit down and talk (in a neutral place where you are both comfortable) and explain what you are feeling, why you are feeling that way and what you expect to happen. DO NOT expect him to be as forthcoming as you - but do expect him to be compassionate and sympathetic. Let him know if he's not ready to fully express himself, you can schedule another time.

Remember, you waited all this time with the intent of having sex for the 1st time on your wedding night...what has changed? And do you think anal sex, oral sex, etc is keeping to that vow?

I could not have said any of that better.

I do know however, a 16 month wait for loving sex...... And the anticipation of that, knowing that there is not long to go as you have a partner and it will happen. You know the date, the time, the place. You know exactly what he is going to do, what you are going to do, want and desire, lust after and you dream about it over and over again.

You become a "jack in the box" squirming around, circling in circles.

Perhaps, your excitement of holding on for so long and wanting so badly for December to approach is in the back of your mind, it's actually not that far away and is playing totally with your hormones and you are going from sensuality, to sexy to just plain horny.