impatient beginner in the art of love making!

**shweedart** · 03-02-2008, 02:44 PM

I lost my virginity about...3 weeks ago (i was on holiday without him for 2 of those weeks) and we've had sex 20+ times or so but im still getting nothing out of it

I know im still new at it and all that but...god surely something should be happening soon? Dont get me wrong I enjoy having sex with my boyfriend but not because it feels nice, it doesnt feel bad either! but...in all honesty I dont feel much at all

we've tried missionary, or with me on top most of the time (lazy git) then we tried it Doggy which felt much different in a good way but still not exactly pleasurable. Now whenever we have sex he seems puzzled as to why im not really responding in the ways he'd like so i have to fake it! Dug myself into a hole there cos now he expects a repeat performance

But i'll just take it shag by shag and assume its because im young and adapting to it?

eep! Help

**Celeste** · 03-02-2008, 06:04 PM

It takes a little while, different speeds for different girls, for their bodies to kind of "mature" to the right feelings during sex. It took me awhile, I can't remember exactly, but I would guess perhaps a few months of steady sex with my then boyfriend for it to really start feeling super good. Like you said, it didn't feel BAD, just not GOOD. Kind of nuetral. I am 22 now, and trust me, it's worth the wait. Just keep on keepin on with it, it will come I promise. You're doing good, your not complaining about pain or anything. So just stick with it!

Also, there are some things he could be doing for YOU, to help you body get accustomed to sex feeling good. He should do plenty of clitoris foreplay, does he? If you aren't wet yet, he can lick his fingers and then use them on the clitoris, because that is the quickest way for most to get more aroused and therefore have sex feel better. Tell him about it, be open, TALK a lot to him, and Don't FAKE IT! It's natural, just explain to him that sex is fun, but it will take a little while for it to feel as good for you that it does for him.

**SinisterUrge** · 03-02-2008, 06:22 PM

A large percentage of women can't climax through vaginal intercourse alone, so it may not be a question of "what you're doing wrong" so much as "what isn't he also doing?"

A few popular options.

1. Use his fingers on the G-spot: Lay on your back and tell him to insert 1 or 2 fingers 'straight up'. Then tell him to start making a "come hither" finger curling movement. Then instruct him to start moving from "twelve o'clock" counterclockwise until he hits the G-spot. You can't feel it on every woman, but if he does it will feel like a slightly more resistive bit about the size of a frozen pea. Its usually between 'nine o'clock' and eleven. Once he found the spot, or you tell him when he got there if he can't feel it, instruct him to keep massaging that spot until climax (oral sex would be appropriate also at this time).

2. More oral sex. There are a wide selection of how-to DVDs on the subject for him to see. They should be issued to guys and lesbians in highschool.

C · 03-02-2008, 06:39 PM

All these tips mean nothing unless you are in the right frame of mind for giving....I, know as a woman, that you just can't spread your legs for any man around. I had read the same words of the poster above but it is far more than this. She must be willing to release the most precious and sexual part of herself as a woman and relax to do something like what you speak about. This could take many years and the right man..

During hot g-spot stimulation I just about leave my body with the hot sensual feelings that I have. When you have this mastered it will play into sexual mating and you can have deep vaginal orgasms but give yourself time. And may I add, you must be madly in love with your lover. Casusl sex is just that, casual sex.

03-02-2008, 02:44 PM	#1
shweedart Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Essex in England, near London Posts: 580	impatient beginner in the art of love making! I lost my virginity about...3 weeks ago (i was on holiday without him for 2 of those weeks) and we've had sex 20+ times or so but im still getting nothing out of it I know im still new at it and all that but...god surely something should be happening soon? Dont get me wrong I enjoy having sex with my boyfriend but not because it feels nice, it doesnt feel bad either! but...in all honesty I dont feel much at all we've tried missionary, or with me on top most of the time (lazy git) then we tried it Doggy which felt much different in a good way but still not exactly pleasurable. Now whenever we have sex he seems puzzled as to why im not really responding in the ways he'd like so i have to fake it! Dug myself into a hole there cos now he expects a repeat performance But i'll just take it shag by shag and assume its because im young and adapting to it? eep! Help

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03-02-2008, 06:04 PM	#2
Celeste VIP Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 56	It takes a little while, different speeds for different girls, for their bodies to kind of "mature" to the right feelings during sex. It took me awhile, I can't remember exactly, but I would guess perhaps a few months of steady sex with my then boyfriend for it to really start feeling super good. Like you said, it didn't feel BAD, just not GOOD. Kind of nuetral. I am 22 now, and trust me, it's worth the wait. Just keep on keepin on with it, it will come I promise. You're doing good, your not complaining about pain or anything. So just stick with it! Also, there are some things he could be doing for YOU, to help you body get accustomed to sex feeling good. He should do plenty of clitoris foreplay, does he? If you aren't wet yet, he can lick his fingers and then use them on the clitoris, because that is the quickest way for most to get more aroused and therefore have sex feel better. Tell him about it, be open, TALK a lot to him, and Don't FAKE IT! It's natural, just explain to him that sex is fun, but it will take a little while for it to feel as good for you that it does for him.

03-02-2008, 06:22 PM	#3
SinisterUrge Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 423	A large percentage of women can't climax through vaginal intercourse alone, so it may not be a question of "what you're doing wrong" so much as "what isn't he also doing?" A few popular options. 1. Use his fingers on the G-spot: Lay on your back and tell him to insert 1 or 2 fingers 'straight up'. Then tell him to start making a "come hither" finger curling movement. Then instruct him to start moving from "twelve o'clock" counterclockwise until he hits the G-spot. You can't feel it on every woman, but if he does it will feel like a slightly more resistive bit about the size of a frozen pea. Its usually between 'nine o'clock' and eleven. Once he found the spot, or you tell him when he got there if he can't feel it, instruct him to keep massaging that spot until climax (oral sex would be appropriate also at this time). 2. More oral sex. There are a wide selection of how-to DVDs on the subject for him to see. They should be issued to guys and lesbians in highschool.

03-02-2008, 06:39 PM	#4
C Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,002	All these tips mean nothing unless you are in the right frame of mind for giving....I, know as a woman, that you just can't spread your legs for any man around. I had read the same words of the poster above but it is far more than this. She must be willing to release the most precious and sexual part of herself as a woman and relax to do something like what you speak about. This could take many years and the right man.. During hot g-spot stimulation I just about leave my body with the hot sensual feelings that I have. When you have this mastered it will play into sexual mating and you can have deep vaginal orgasms but give yourself time. And may I add, you must be madly in love with your lover. Casusl sex is just that, casual sex.