delicious105

I've heard that up to 20% of marriages in this country are sexless. I personally know of half a dozen myself. During my marriage I remember thinking that if I were single I could at least get some action if I wanted to. Being married and rejected meant I was stuck. No fooling around allowed.

This is quite a journey I'm on and the longer I'm single the more fun I'm having. More orgasms more often and any time I want!

What are the chances I could find a man who would enjoy this part of the journey? I know what a guy says he'll do before the "I do" is nothing close to what they actually do once the ink dries on the certificate.

Guys, tell me what you think. I'm too old to be in a sexless marriage again. Don' think I could handle it now that I know what is possible.

Ladies, would you go with the unknown or stay single and enjoy?

C

I think they are just about nil that you will find a man that has your same sex drive. First, as we get older, as I think you are finding, that we women get more sexual and really want more filling. We have matured and cast away our purity shield that has protected us in life and are now willing and able to "let it all hang out". We are no longer afraid of our bodies....We are proud of them and flaunt them knowing that we now can use them with the best of women. We know that age means nothing with us because we can look at a younger man and he will look back. He not only will look back but he will show interest and wait for an invitation to come to the ball.

Now for the older man to marry....Forget it if you want some hot sex....He probably will have a hard time getting it up and this is what you want. He may be all promises with no results...I would say test those waters good before you take the swim....Make it across the English Channel so you are sure that he won't sink.

Now we both know how great those little man made inventions are. They can take us to heaven and we do not have to hold our breath that he will not peter out...... If it was me and I was single again at your age honey, I would rock and roll.....Be hot and horny and keep Eric within reach if I happen to get in a cold spell.......Now all will see why I am not a NUN......Just a terribly sexually satisfied woman.....That screams it to the world....

CHANDLERS WISH

Like you, i was in a sexless marriage and yep, the first three months were full on. But, not sensual, now that i have learn't of that existance. And, yep, once married, great loved the cooking, clean house, additional income, freedom to go where he wanted, of course i did to, there was definately a trust there, but love? Friendship, yep. And, since, well, i've have opened like a flower, grown like a woman, experienced like a devil. lol. Someone said this to me once and i believe it to be true and my man is older!!! So there goes that theory of older men.... Find someone passionate about life. Truly passionate as they will take that ten fold into the bedroom. Now mine was passionate about cars, but that's a hobby there was no other passion now that i think about it that he had. So, if they are passionate in their conversations about life in general, free thinking, there's a chance. But as you've been married and now free and enjoying, you don't need to jump. If you find someone passionate and it all works well, keep him there for a few years, then consider marriage, that way you won't have to wonder!! Enjoy your journey and explorations.

Rose5

I guess it all depends on the person. You have to consider what you want from now on. Are you looking for companionship, friendship, sex, partnership, etc. Seriously consider what you want.
Personally I would never get married again. I've compromised too much, given too much and lost too much to ever go there again. If I was divorced I would find someone just to have sex and live by myself and do what I want when I want to. Maybe I'll feel differently if I ever find myself in the situation, but I doubt it.

CHANDLERS WISH

When i read what you wrote, i felt sad. I gained the impression that you are not happy at all with your marriage. You talk about it "if you ever got married again" " if i was divorced" so i assume i'm correct. I think you would feel diferently if you were in a different situation but that you would live by yourself for some time first and enjoy. Sometimes we chose the wrong partner/s and stay. I made the bold move to leave as i felt as you do, and i've never ever looked back.

Keep smiling and know your worth. We only live this life once, perhaps you need to get out there and find some interests of your own, so he realises what he has and would miss, whilst you see more of who you are?

Just a thought, and providing i'm correct.

If not, sorry.

delicious105

Caroline, you are a hoot!

I actually DO know a very passionate man. He is my soulmate and currently not available.

There is another man who is my best friend and we have known each other over 20 years. We have a connection that doesn't need words. He is also not available.

One is a priest and the other is the husband of a friend. We met when our kids were little.

Nothing that will send me to has happened with either one, but thanks to your replies I now know that if offered the opportunity I should go with the passionate one.

Being in a sexless marriage takes you lower than you can imagine. Your soul hurts, if that were possible.

metboogie

Most of the sexless marriages I know (including mine) are that way because the woman has lost her sex drive. I'm not saying it doesn't happen to men too, but I think it happens more to women.

I know all the hurt you describe on a personal level.

Honestly, I don't think you would have THAT hard a time finding a guy who could sustain a strong sex drive. You would probably have a harder time finding a guy with a strong sex drive that you really want to marry. But he's out there, I promise.

Good luck.

Rose5

Chandlers wish, you read my post correctly. I do feel like I chose the wrong person but I plow through because of my children. Children deserve to grow up with both their parents and because I made a rash decision doesn't mean they should have to pay for it.
On the flip side, I am happy because I like what I am and who I have become. You can't get happiness from a husband or kids or anything external. Our marriage is not horrible. We don't argue (although we do disagree sometimes and we're comfortable enough to discuss anything), we spend time together as a family and our sex life is good. Maybe this should be enough. Maybe I want too much. Maybe absolute devotion is too much to ask. Maybe if I hadn't given my absolute devotion I wouldn't expect it in return. I want a husband who's passionate about me ( I don't mean only sexually) but perhaps this is simply an impossible dream. In any case I keep hoping.
Maybe now you can understand a little bit of why marriage is a one time thing for me.

SinisterUrge

I know this opinion represents only a true minority but it is possible to engage in an open marriage with some people and not wind-up in divorce court every other month.

Some men know they can't perform and are willing to turn a blind eye to (usually younger) lovers, and some capable men are just aroused at having the "hot wife" and get great sexual enjoyment from watching or hearing about the wife's conquests.

Again I must stress that these men are incredibly rare and their opinions on the subject could be subject to change at a later date, but the option does exist for some people.

CHANDLERS WISH

I am lucky and i know that, as we didn't have children and were together for 8 years. So i made that bold move, because there was no passion, in or out of the bedroom and like you, i was extremely giving in all facets with nil response. I'm pleased that your marriage isn't horrible and that you can discus things and more importantly that your sex life is good.

Children are "the reason" people stay together and i will never ever knock that. It's what our parents did, and their parents before them.

I guess i wonder though, as we live in a different "age", is it not possible when the children are grown and if you can't move things a little more in the direction of your desire, that you can walk and find that beauty that you seek, and spend some of your life with it?

Never say never, and i think we all learn a lot from here, so what new things can we learn to add that may make him sway a little more towards what you need?

Some men don't know how to truly love, perhaps they were never truly loved but i swear, regardless, i will never ever settle for less now that i have seen that i can be myself, wanted for myself, say what ever i want and think it's foolish but never be told that it was, and free, to experiment, be, learn, grow and as i said, i made that choice and i'm free and so happy.

Your not asking for too much, you just want to be you 100% but obviously, happy to a degree but still, can't totally be you and have all those things you dreamed of.

Just remember this when time passes down the track that's all i can say...

Keep smiling...