e4fun

I have been married almost 7 years now. When we were dating we had the best sex. Everything was right! I used to have multiple orgasms no problem, I wanted sex all the time. It was great! Ever since I have had twins, I have not been able to have a orgasm. I think twice in the last 6 years, it's sad. I can get close but never there, I don't think I can physically get there for some reason. Its like things are different down there after the pregnancy and C section, I don't think that's it. But what is it? Now I don't get excited about having sex anymore I have lost complete interest. My husband is of course frustrated, sad and mad, I cant blame him and it feels like it will never be the way it was before. I desperately want the passion that was once there, I love him. He doesn't make an effort to turn me on or woo me and maybe its not his responsible. I don't like to blame him, but for me I really get turned on by someone who desires me and I sure he feels the same way but it always feels like an obligation for me when we have sex. We have been to counselor in the past some thing got better, but in the sex department it is still horrible. I need help badly!

macybelle

I went through the same thing for years after having my kids. I'm not sure what happens to a women after becoming a mother that makes her stop feeling sexual. My youngest is 8 and and my oldest is 10 so you can imagine how long I have dealt with the same problems you are describing. It wasn't until I started watching porn that a light was lit inside me. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. That doesn't mean it would work for you but it's worth a shot. I had a terrible time having an orgasm as well. It's not so hard any longer and I would have never used toys before but I do now. I'm sure that this reply isn't much help but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I know that there are many women out there feeling the same way. Good Luck to you and I hope that things change for you.

Rose5

e4fun, you are definitely not alone. Kids put a major strain on relationships. Some husbands embrace the children and the marriage becomes stronger, but some don't. I happen to have a husband that had a hard time dealing with the fact that we had children. When I was pregnant with our second child my husband went to never never land and I was on my own. To him our home was a boarding house. Needless to say our sex life was at a low. I've always been highly sexual but the loneliness and stress killed all my sexual desire. I'm not a doctor but I don't think there is anything wrong with you physically. Your physical reaction is provoked by emotional factors. What I can guarantee is that your continued lack of desire (caused by relationship problems) will drive a much larger wedge between the two of you. It's a vicious circle!
Don't wait for him to break the circle. Do it for your own sanity.

I'm not saying that if you regain your desire (which you definitely can) that it will fix your relationship but at least you can prevent it from getting worse. Become the agressor and he will come around, at least sexually. I'm sorry but I don't have any advice to help with your husband's emotional distance because I haven't figured that part out.
To get back in the mood you can try a couple of things. If you think you would like a vibrator, get the Hitachi Magic Wand. I got it with the g spot attachment but I wasn't impressed with the attachment because even on the low setting it's a little bit too much. I prefer it without the attachment. Since the vibrator is powerful even on low I use a towel over my groin area to act as a buffer. The orgasms with the magic wand are marvelous, stupendous, superb, totally engrossing. I actually found masturbation boring sometimes until I got the wand. The vibrator is large and loud so it's not something you can easily hide. Just let your husband know that you are getting it but don't use it while he's around unless he specifically wants to. I think my husband was jeolous of it (men and their egos). Try watching romantic movies and you know the ones that do it for you. I don't usually listen to music because some songs with memories attached to them actually make me cry, but if music does it for you try that. If you have your mind set on having sex, it helps, so take a shower and build the anticipation in your mind. Once you get your motor running you'll be surprised how quickly you will be on the other side and can never get enough sex. So be careful what you wish for because you might loose the off switch, like I did.
Good luck to you and remember the mood is in your own mind.

baseball guy

e4fun,

My wife never had much desire or very strong orgasms, until she started taking fish oil about 4 months ago. Do a web search: fish oil orgasmic diet. It has helped my wife greatly. She now enjoys sex and has more intense orgasms. She has told several of her friends and two have tried it so far with similar results. The great thing is fish oil is good for your health.

BBG