Hystorm

Hello,
>> I have been searching for a forum that would be appropriate for this issue.
I believe I have found that forum.
This is a bit long-winded (fingered) but I felt I needed to get this down on paper for my own means.

We have been married for 13-years. We both were Virgins when we met. (yes it is possible, we both were saving our selves for marriage, I could have been laid a dozen times over before marriage and passed, same with her, it’s a religious thing that works wonders as you will soon see.)
I was 26 and she was 20. Now thats the way to tag, err..get them!
She is the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and somehow I ended up marrying her.
We fooled around before marriage, no penetration or anything like that, mostly, kissing and touching. She was able to orgasm very easily. I didn’t know at that time that she was indeed orgasm'ing until later, after marriage. She would do this little squeal like a child does that is very, very exited about a new toy or something. I thought it was just her expressing nervous excitement as she would always get very sad after (pre-marriage) we were done fooling around, feeling ashamed, etc. It turns out she would only get that way after she came, after the release. I was only aware of one climax of hers before M until later. Turns out, She was coming quite a bit.

The wedding night very interesting. Since we already had fooled around, we were very open about sex, even before we engaged in it. We had planned on not trying to have sex on the wedding night as we were both hammered by the time we got to our destination. We did take a bath together and she dressed into her wedding lingerie (teddy) and we proceeded to go oral again. This was the first time I officially had her completely open and available for oral sex. All the pre-times, it was from trickery in that I got her so turned on, she basically did not refuse and let me do whatever. I was always within boundaries, no panties off, etc. This time, I had the entire buffet at my disposal. I had her making noises I did not believe girls made. She is a very quiet orgasm’er.
She stopped me as she kept saying “it’s too strong!” I guess when you have never experienced a real orgasm or real oral sex, it would be too strong! So, we ended up just going to bed that night. In hind-sight, I should have just entered her then.

The next few nights we tried to actually enter her with no real success. She kept insisting it was too painful. Me, not knowing that much about a women’s vagina could not say anything. We ended up going back to Oral sex for the first 3 nights. She was more upset than I was, and I will explain why in a min. On the 4^th night, I tried to prop her up by placing her on her back and putting a pillow under her bum. Quite the mental picture isn’t it? I then lubed up heavily and attacked, err..rather attempted to enter. Once again, she complained that it was really Owwie and not working. I then kind of said “hell with it” and pushed even harder. There was a sudden…pop feeling! She quickly pushed me off saying “what was that?” thinking she was about to die or something. She was not in any pain but felt something non the less. I calmly explained to her that it was just probably her Hymen finally popping and now we could have sex. She was told by her Gynic that she would not need to have her Hymen pre-cut, that it was sufficiently open. As a side note, I can officially say as a guy….Yea, I’ve popped a cherry! It’s the most amazing feeling, would have been mind blowing if I was then allowed to enter fully. Needless to say, we did not as she was feeling weird or whatever and still saying it was too painful. I guess this is the part where I should tell the reader I am not a small man but not a giant either. I have a slightly above average size of 7-inches and a girth of about 3. Up until this point, I was only getting the head into her, nothing else.
I then remembered seeing something at a pharmacy that is suppose to help with pain and sex. So, I went to the closest drug store I could find and asked a kindly pharmacist what he would recommend for my situation. I was surprised by how easily I was able to talk to someone else about sex. I explained the situation and he said something that kind of shocked me. He said: “there is nothing I can give her or you for that, it is all IN HER HEAD!” Never the less, He gave me some of that Maintain. Basically, it’s a type of ‘cain or deadener for the skin. Its intent is to keep men coming too fast by deadening the head. Both the pharmacist and I figured it might work with putting a bit on her entry. It didn’t.
What’s more, I did not need it as I feared I might. I was afraid I would be a PreMatureEjaculator kind of guy having sex for the first time. As it turns out, having masturbated most of my teen years, etc…I had successfully de-sensitized my schlong to go for hours! That was not the original intent, but it sure turned out well for us. Since I have stopped years ago, I now have to deal with the opposite. Anyway…

On the second to last night of our Honey Moon, We finally were able to consummate the marriage! Just before that, we were at dinner talking about sex in general. She then explained she could not wait to feel me come in her! I had never heard her say anything like that. Was such a turn on. I later found out, that was one of the biggest reasons for her being sad the days prior is she was so looking forward to feeling me come in her! I guess her old college room-mates had talked about it and got her very interested.
We were able to finally do the deed with me on my back and her on top. This happened totally out of accident. We were once again trying to get in and she was torn between wanting me in and the pain she was feeling. I finally rolled over in frustration ( I was actually going to bag it for the night and go prep a bath) She then jumped onto of me to keep me from getting frustrated, in a playful sort of way and I said, “well, here..lets just try it this way” Once lubed up, she took control of my schlong and inserted it in. She has this strange way she learned from trial and error of getting it in the right way, she slowly rubs it up and down between her folds and then sends it on its way in. To this day, she is the official PC, Penis Controller. Never do I enter her without her taking control and doing it. Kind of cool, but came about from our Honeymoon. Once I was in up to the usual head entrance, she laid down flat on me and we began kissing, etc. Slowly but surely, it went in deeper and deeper. I could tell she was really enjoying it. Once I was all the way to the hilt, I was able to rub against her clitoris and that began her actually making sex sounds for the first time ever. Still very softly, but noticeable. She then asked me if I was going to come, I had not even thought about it as I was totally into experiencing her. Once I turned back to the sex, I was able to come. I talked her through it as I built up the anticipation which sent her over the top. Once I began coming, she came too. I could feel here vagina spasming and her whole body quiver, several times.
It turns out, she came once before I did, one of here usual ones she had experienced with the fooling around before, the second was a vaginal+clitoral orgasm which I have come to learn are the absolute best on the planet! She was speechless for a few minutes after as we just laid there, with her still on top, for some time. She was SOOO happy to finally have experienced it all! The wait was SOOO worth it. And I don’t just mean the days of frustration leading up to it, but the Virgin waiting.

Now, here is were we get to the crux of the situation. We both didn’t know anyone else Biblically and in fact learned from each other. Hence, our bodies ‘tuned’ to each others and for the next 5 years, we both came ‘together’ 98% of the time! That is one of a killer sexual track record. I am sure you would be very hard pressed to find that in most marriages. Sure, in dating couples, but married?
About every 3rd to 5^th orgasm she had, would be what I came to call: ‘Criers’, as she would basically be in tears after. No, not from frustration (we had those too), but from the sheer power and almost scary physical takeover of her body (as she described it.)

Now, 3 kids and 13 years later, I cannot seem to hit that magical Crier orgasm anymore. From what I can get from her, she comes, but not the way she used to. They are mild compared to the old days. I have suggested that our bodies are completely accustomed to each other, like a person that takes pain pills for pain, through time, they need to take more and more for the same effect. I suggested we try a penis sleeve I think they are called. It would make me longer a bit and more girthy. We came close to trying it but she chickened out. She claims she is already too stretched and doesn’t want to stretch more.
She will not use anything that vibrates, due to our religious beliefs. I don’t actually think there is anything written about married couples using anything that vibrates but whatever. I have tried a few rings that had an attachment to rub against the clit when I am fully engaged, they just hurt her or something like that. It’s rather rough as she secretly complains about not having the really good orgasms anymore, but does not want to try anything new to solve it. I think what I need to do is wait for her to be so turned on, that she does not care what I do. Have tried before with little luck. I have an attachment that would make my schlong 10 inches and about 4inch girth that I showed her. She said there is no way she could take that. The problem is, when I come during normal sex and she is ready to go, she is so turned on or whatever, that she cannot feel me anymore, because she becomes so loose, so open as it were. Opposite of our Honeymoon dilemma. That is why I purchased the extra size toys, for those kind of situations. Still have yet to try any as she always just says “its not that big of a deal, only to you”….yea right!

I would love to hear from any women out there who have experienced anything similar or have any hints or tips for me to try. Guys, same thing.
My wife has just turned 33 as is just now reaching her sexual peak. I would like to continue to keep it magical for her.

Please advise.

Thanks in advance.

C

First of all you are both happy....Why try for more?....You both have achieved this ultimate sexual happiness...Second, who says your wife is close to sexual peaking???? I doubt if I have peaked yet and I am one of the over the hill gang.....Oh, and yes, I too, do scream.....but mostly moan.....

Why keep messing around with such a perfect union as you both have?...Your wife will change as she matures, but be happy being happy. So many people never know the beauty that you both have found... Enjoy and treasure it....Take care, Caroline

Hystorm

OK, well I thank you for that but it does not help the current situation of her slowly but surely loosing her ability to orgasm. They are getting smaller and weaker by the month and I am busting my *** to try and make things better, to no avail.

Anyone else?

CM2008

Put away the extender and Get her a toy that vibrates! New exploration, new excitement.

macybelle

I agree with CM2008 get a toy that vibrates. A bullet is small enough to use while having intercourse and get clitoral stimulation at the same time. Good luck!

lulubelle80

If you and your wife have never incorporated toys into the bedroom, its time to do it! I once was able to orgasm just from nipple stimulation, but since I've become a mommy, that doesn't happen hardly ever! You guys need to take a night, get a babysitter, and go to an adult toy store. I don't know if you've done this before, but don't be embarrassed. Let her check out different toys that she may enjoy. My personal favorite is the bullett. Mine actually has like 7 different settings, but I get off every time I use it. You will be amazed at how well this works!

CHANDLERS WISH

Well that was one lengthy tale. To me, she had trouble before you finally constimated your marriage and now suggesting bigger, wider that same fear comes back into her head. Of course the more you do, the opener you get. In my marriage i got wet and opened to the extent where i didn't feel it to. You mentioned so much oral before that she squealed but you didn't know what that was. Where i am sitting here, i hear, that you are doing everything out of your power but go back to where it started. Perhaps, go back to long, beautiful oral sex. One that makes her almost beg for you. One that you hear what you remember, that squeal. One that she remembers to. Lifting a woman above the ground so to speak with her legs over your shoulder up high, penetrates deep and if you go slowly as not to hurt her, but deep, then if she opens it shouldn't matter as the deepness takes on a different effect. The love you have for your wife and her for you is beautiful. For the record, i could have had at least a dozen men bedding me in the past 16 months, at least 10 since separation but like you both, i prefer to give this to a man whom i hope to be my long life partner. And like you both, i have no quarms of forelay, sexual conversations, asking questions, lusting and being naughty, sexy and horny until we do. I am 45..... And i am really at my peak, and i **** well don't know when a women reaches her and from somethings i've read, it goes on and on and on, well into well lets say more than 20 years from my age... So there is still a lot to learn, love, experience and enjoy. Sex toys? Sure, perhaps once you have engaged in every feeling and aspect of each other and want to keep down that journey but needed, so much more for you both to learn about each other's bodies and feelings from what you've written. Tears? I to experience that at the moment when he speak to me and we do what we can do whilst apart. That to me is the bond, trust and total giving to a man whom you bond with and trust. It is an amazing absolute amazing journey. Best wishes again.

commonsense

Enjoyed your story! It was beautiful. Congratulations on a loving relationship.

There could be a lot of things going on. I'll just throw in my 2 cents.

1) First thing I picked up on was there seems to be a friction problem with penetration. Kegel exercises of the vagina may help that. Babies do stretch the vaginal walls.
2) Recommendation of some of the play toys the others mentioned for variety if you like. Sounds like she doesn't like those though.
3) Romance, romance, romance. Women have to have some romance. Try a get away weekend without the kids so you can focus on just you two.
4) Do a wish list: she writes down what she would like from you and vice versa.
5) Hormonal changes - her estrogen levels may be changing and dropping her libido. There is another topic already written on this site related to fish oils etc. to bring the sex drive back. I recommend you read that.

Good luck and enjoy!