Thread: Miserable about porn

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

Sorry on my previous post - I wasn't trying to suggest that all men or women are like either example, just trying to get a handle on why there often seems such a big disagreement on this.

The arguement that if one person feels hurt by an action, that action should be stopped can lead to problems. What if that person feels "hurt" by a very wide range of things, and there are lots of "you must not do X because it will hurt me", and it becomes controlling. "you can't spend time with your friends because it hurts me" is often used in abusive relationships (by both genders).

What are the boundries on what it is acceptable to restrict because it causes the partner to feel hurt? Here I am specifically not counting anything that causes a direct hurt: physical, financial, or loss of time with spouse.

As far as this applies to porn, I am also ignoring the cases where someone is addicted to porn, or cases where they use porn as a substitute for a spoulse who neglects them sexually.

I think that in a good relationship you should be so open and discuss everything so that you know whether or not you are compatible and see if there are boundries and if it is acceptable by both parties not to cross those boundries.

I think that that is why there are so many disagreement, as they don't communicate enough at the beginning or through that relationship?

I agree it is difficult to bring something up that was never discussed somewhere along the line, show hurt and then ask for it to stop.

But i think that in this instance, he has admitted that he knew that it would and did it anyway.

Control, is something else we hear it all the time and i went through someone "trying to do that", but didn't let him. That got him worse and of course, i walked.

And i still think, that if there is sex education at school now, then it should also involve the difference between a man and a woman in their thought patterns, as much as education pertaining to how to please a woman and how to please a man. Maybe not at 16, but you know what i mean. It would stop all of this, how do i do this, what went wrong, why do i do this.....

Maybe a week schooling for 18 year olds that the parents are made aware of and send them onto...