Thread: Why is it?

Originally Posted by hisrose2

Masterbation should NEVER (in my opinion) replace intimate love with each other! That is what has happened in our lives.. (We are in our mid 50's - so I know the sex can waine - and it's NEVER been freguent anyway (to my taste) but are there other people out there who are living in sexless marriages. We have no children at home now. They are all grown, so there isn't any stress of pregnancy. ha! But in my my mind, if men replace sex with their wives for masterbating, that is unfair to the spouse and no fulfilling their committment to meet their spouses needs. In some cultures (Jewish) if a man is not satisfiying his wife, sexually, that gives her the right to divorce the husband. Not that she has to, but that culture gives the woman the right to do so. I do not want a divorce. Our culture would tell the man, "hey, if your wife won't have sex with you, but is gratifiying her own sexual needs and denying YOUR needs, get rid of her!!! If a woman lives in a sexless marriage - what does our culture say to her??? All I hear in here, is "get over the fact that he masterbates, and does't make love to you. Both genders masterbate. I personally do not think it's wrong to do so, for either gender - but I don't think masterbation should be a practice where one is neglecting the other. I would supose that most people fantasize when masterbating (that isn't the issue) The issue I was hoping to get feed back on, was how to deal with a sexless marriage. For now, I am truely in a sexless marriage. Neither am I looking for a forum to complain in. Just a place to vent my feelings and possible frustrations and hoping for insight and understanding or communication regarding issues. The comment about the porn - was that if a marrige can do without it, I personally think the marriage will be healthier for the couple. My first husband had an addiction to porn and eventually, it lead to infidelity on his part (and not with other women, but other men! And he wasn't a homosexual). I have a "sensitive" button in that area, possibly -- so to have a second marriage with sexual problems is dissapointing. I truely love my husband - and am not willing to give up our relationship based on the fact that our marriage is sexless. I guess I was wondering if anyone thinks we should get therapy. I had just hoped to find someone who would encourage me with some ideas.

Well i agree and i think a fair amount do as well, that it should not be a replacement, but nothing wrong with doing it in addition.

Sexless marriage, well i can relate to that one... But in defense of myself yet again, there was also control and verbal issues as so i left.

But i did try first, like putting on the whole underwear thing, hair, makeup, jewelery stockings, high heels but um, when told when you look like that after spending serious time, "not in the mood", well of course it just goes downhill from there.

At least you have a sense of humor "ha" over the can't get pregnant bit...

I guess your in the same boat as a lot of people where we have discussed this and it appears one wants to the other doesn't or one wants more the other is satisfied.

There are some that the male has issues and can't even if he wanted to and won't do anything about it.

There are woman whom just won't meet half way or 25% of the way and give to get, or give to give.

And, each one is different with regards to the answers i have seen here that people suggest.

So, can i suggest? You start a Thread, on where you guys are at, i mean, when you were married this, for the past that, your open but, type of thing...

It's just hard to answer when you don't know a bit more...

There are tones of threads on it as well, if you don't want to do that to read...

Best wishes, if you do, i'll answer ...

CW