Why is it?

**Fallen1** · 03-14-2008 12:06 PM

This is quoted from another thread. I decided to create a new thread because I didn't want to "hijack" the other thread away from the original poster.

Mourningman, please know that I'm not picking on you or singling you out, I just saw your words and it brought the question to my mind.

Originally Posted by Mourningman

I think this poor guy is in real pickle. His wife has gone bananas and wants a divorce? I yi yi. Maybe she is very insecure about herself and that is not your fault. I must be too liberal about masterbation but I have never sat in front of my computer choking my chicken. But o do have a movie collection.

Why is it that every time a woman gets upset over something her significant other does that hurts her, porn being the main "offense" I'm referring to, most men want to blame her hurt on her being insecure?
I'll agree that in some cases it very well may be the culprit behind her feelings but that isn't the case 100 % of the time.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-14-2008 12:48 PM

Originally Posted by Fallen1

This is quoted from another thread. I decided to create a new thread because I didn't want to "hijack" the other thread away from the original poster.

Mourningman, please know that I'm not picking on you or singling you out, I just saw your words and it brought the question to my mind.

Why is it that every time a woman gets upset over something her significant other does that hurts her, porn being the main "offense" I'm referring to, most men want to blame her hurt on her being insecure?
I'll agree that in some cases it very well may be the culprit behind her feelings but that isn't the case 100 % of the time.

If that was me, and i said i want a Divorce. He wouldn't be sleeping on the couch, he would be sleeping at his parents/sister's/brother's/friends house. Maybe wise words of a woman are that, her only defense in this whole situation is to show him just how "hurt" she is.

It seems that maybe there is a "non understanding" of how a woman really hurts as there seems to be a question? why she would impliment or mention divorce. That to me shows the depth of her hurt.

I think a woman feels her "heart being ripped out" when hurt, regardless of the topic. That is a feeling i believe only women know the feeling of such pain and anquish.

I find it interesting therefore that there is a ? after the word Divorce from most male replies and the word "Hurt" from every single female reply.

Perhaps therefore is there not a lack of understanding of women, again he said he would never hurt her but knew she didn't like Porn. And again ? divorce?.

Perhaps there should be a finishing school or subject at school for the difference between men and women and how they "feel" using different scenarios so that there is a much more understanding.

If a man hurts, he mopes does he not. Or, gets even, or moves on, or just says ouch.

Very different feeling. So the main word in all of this is hurt and that understanding of the word.

**SinisterUrge** · 03-14-2008 12:56 PM

What else would it be from? Its not like he's having relations with someone else, he's being stimulated while viewing a piece of erotic fiction. Its all fantasy.

I'm trying to devise scenarios in which pornography may actually be a legitimate catalyst for a significant other's anger

*Porn star is the sister of the wife
*Gay porn (larger issues than just watching porn here)
*Watching porn instead of having sex (again not porn's fault per se)
*Husband is watching pay-per-minute porn at the rate of several hundred dollars a month
*Wife owns a competing porn company

Really the reality is that the vast majority of men will and do masturbate on a regular basis. Male porn actors, who have sex with many women to pay the bills, still masturbate. The guy married to the pornstar your husband masturbates to is probably masturbating to someone else right this minute.

And if porn magically vanished from the face of the Earth, I can assure you that the next time poor husband in question masturbates, it will not be to the thought of his wife who tends to frown upon his autoerotic exercises.

And she should be happy that it works at all. The business of selling magical pills and potions to men who can't get it up at all is a bajillion dollar a year business.

The Basic Facts
1. Men over the age of 11 masturbate. A lot
2. They won't stop until death or erectile dysfunction claims them

C · 03-14-2008 01:00 PM

Fallen1, I didn't see your Thread or I would have responded to it before I put my post on after Mourningman. We had just gotten back from lunch and I went online to see if anyone had replied to what I had written....When I saw what Morningman had written it hit me in the face...Now I wonder....Are the two sexes so far apart that some things a man cannot reason? Do they think making love to a computer is the same as doing their wife? Are we all still so primative and truly have not changed over the ages in all our animal ways?

I understand all the feelings of a woman like you do and God forbid I am now starting to understand the feeling of the opposite sex.....Why else would an idiot 49 year old Governor go out and try and play like a college student and make a complete a*s of himself and his wife......

I just wish these horny males would keep all those hot urges inside for the years ahead when they will need it...They just do not know that it will take a hot wife to keep them a man in years to come...Viagra can just go so far......A woman can go on and on and it will be her choice if she wants to take him along on this sexual ride through life.....

Me I am still so annoyed that I am writing a Silda Spitzer blog to defend women....This has truly PMO....

**ChelseaRenee** · 03-14-2008 01:45 PM

Originally Posted by SinisterUrge

What else would it be from? Its not like he's having relations with someone else, he's being stimulated while viewing a piece of erotic fiction. Its all fantasy.

I'm trying to devise scenarios in which pornography may actually be a legitimate catalyst for a significant other's anger

*Porn star is the sister of the wife
*Gay porn (larger issues than just watching porn here)
*Watching porn instead of having sex (again not porn's fault per se)
*Husband is watching pay-per-minute porn at the rate of several hundred dollars a month
*Wife owns a competing porn company

Really the reality is that the vast majority of men will and do masturbate on a regular basis. Male porn actors, who have sex with many women to pay the bills, still masturbate. The guy married to the pornstar your husband masturbates to is probably masturbating to someone else right this minute.

And if porn magically vanished from the face of the Earth, I can assure you that the next time poor husband in question masturbates, it will not be to the thought of his wife who tends to frown upon his autoerotic exercises.

And she should be happy that it works at all. The business of selling magical pills and potions to men who can't get it up at all is a bajillion dollar a year business.

The Basic Facts
1. Men over the age of 11 masturbate. A lot
2. They won't stop until death or erectile dysfunction claims them

This is the saddest, most pessimistic piece of work I have ever read. Ever think some men actually find their wives attractive enough to masturbate to them WITHOUT the aid of those other skanks?! Oh, the horror.

Oh, and cute calling him the "poor husband". Oh yes, woe is he who's wife gets upset that he prefers jerking off to wh0res than to the thought of his wife. Lord.

**Fallen1** · 03-14-2008 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by SinisterUrge

What else would it be from?

There are many other reasons that may be behind her problems with it.

Originally Posted by SinisterUrge

I'm trying to devise scenarios in which pornography may actually be a legitimate catalyst for a significant other's anger

*Porn star is the sister of the wife
*Gay porn (larger issues than just watching porn here)
*Watching porn instead of having sex (again not porn's fault per se)
*Husband is watching pay-per-minute porn at the rate of several hundred dollars a month
*Wife owns a competing porn company

Wait a minute ..... didn't you just ask above "what else would it be from?" You just answered yourself with some valid reasons and these reasons are not insecurity related.

Originally Posted by SinisterUrge

Really the reality is that the vast majority of men will and do masturbate on a regular basis. Male porn actors, who have sex with many women to pay the bills, still masturbate. The guy married to the pornstar your husband masturbates to is probably masturbating to someone else right this minute.

And if porn magically vanished from the face of the Earth, I can assure you that the next time poor husband in question masturbates, it will not be to the thought of his wife who tends to frown upon his autoerotic exercises.

And she should be happy that it works at all. The business of selling magical pills and potions to men who can't get it up at all is a bajillion dollar a year business.

The Basic Facts
1. Men over the age of 11 masturbate. A lot
2. They won't stop until death or erectile dysfunction claims them

I wasn't questioning masturbation. I was questioning why men want to blame a females distaste for porn on her simply being insecure.

And that's really a sad thought to me that I have highlighted above. I certainly hope I have misinterpreted what you are trying to say here.

**whilhelm** · 03-14-2008 02:44 PM

Originally Posted by SinisterUrge

Really the reality is that the vast majority of men will and do masturbate on a regular basis. Male porn actors, who have sex with many women to pay the bills, still masturbate. The guy married to the pornstar your husband masturbates to is probably masturbating to someone else right this minute.

what's horrific about this isn't that it's true - but that it no longer disturbs us.

makes it even more crucial that men stop being satisfied to join those ranks of mediocrity. the more lemmings wander off this cliff, the more vast that majority becomes.

thanks for all the women who refuse to let their husbands suffer the pitiful fate of the masses without putting up a fight.

keep fighting, girls.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-14-2008 03:20 PM

Originally Posted by SinisterUrge

What else would it be from? Its not like he's having relations with someone else, he's being stimulated while viewing a piece of erotic fiction. Its all fantasy.

I'm trying to devise scenarios in which pornography may actually be a legitimate catalyst for a significant other's anger

*Porn star is the sister of the wife
*Gay porn (larger issues than just watching porn here)
*Watching porn instead of having sex (again not porn's fault per se)
*Husband is watching pay-per-minute porn at the rate of several hundred dollars a month
*Wife owns a competing porn company

Really the reality is that the vast majority of men will and do masturbate on a regular basis. Male porn actors, who have sex with many women to pay the bills, still masturbate. The guy married to the pornstar your husband masturbates to is probably masturbating to someone else right this minute.

And if porn magically vanished from the face of the Earth, I can assure you that the next time poor husband in question masturbates, it will not be to the thought of his wife who tends to frown upon his autoerotic exercises.

And she should be happy that it works at all. The business of selling magical pills and potions to men who can't get it up at all is a bajillion dollar a year business.

The Basic Facts
1. Men over the age of 11 masturbate. A lot
2. They won't stop until death or erectile dysfunction claims them

SINISTER URGE

What an intreaging name.....

Fantasy can take you on a fantastic journey.
Fantasy can be erotic

I am sure most good, sexually close relationships talk about their fantasies and then what they agree, or disagree on, what is allowed or not allowed. Especially when it's a sinister thought outside the norm, don't you agree.

Each couples are different with what they love or don't love pertaining to sex.

And, that loving relationship that is of a different sphere if totally erotic in several ways, is still a "hot" erotic loving relationship between two people.

Are their boundries? Probably not where those two people are concerened with each other.... It's hot, sexual, sensual, horny there are no boundries. Within their world, as long as it's together.

Let's therefore say, a man and his wife are in a relationship where they can do most things like they swap partners, watch real sexual relations together in real life, a partnership that is shared and the love deep. (Their life)..

Let's take that as a scenario, would a man be pleased if one of the rules was she could never take a man on her own, but you came home and found her in bed with the neighbour. Sorry, you weren't here, i know you don't like it, i wouldn't hurt you, you opened the door though.

I am an extremely open woman and a lot are. They see nothing wrong with sexual desire, wants and needs or everyone to their own....

But if there are boundries, and they are stated and accepted, between a couple, then if broken, is it not wrong?

If it is the man that breaks it, should the woman not hurt?

Would the man be hurt in the above scenario if he loved watching together, or doing together but then saw some other man doing his wife/partner which was taboo? Bearing in mind i am saying, if it was taboo............

I don't think anyone is denying that it is a "fact" that men masturbate.

(I personally would like to watch my partner do so in front of me and him me at the same time.) And, i intend to do so.

It is a "fact" that women when they feel comfortable about it experiement in that catagory as well? Or when they have been single for a long time and don't want one night stands? A way of relief of sexual desire.

Men were taught is was normal, women were taught that it was dirty, wrong... Most that is. Where we as women go from there as we develop into women is our priogrative as individuals as we explore our sexuality. You have not mentioned that "fact" pertaining to women.

It is a "fact" that expoloration between the sexes is a turn on in partnership, even a "horny" occasion of a one night stand.

It is a "fact" that trying something new is exciting.

And it's a "fact" that men are horny 24/7 therefore is it not a "fact" that their brains are thinking with their ............ ? 24/7

And isn't a "fact" that women don't think with their ..... rather say yes please, more, more, more, but with their hearts?

This is not a post in relation to on-going porn, problems with porn, if and when should you use it. He has only just experiemented with that.

This is not a post in relation to a problem masterbating, as she knows he does and accepts that.

There are so many couples that would gladly watch this together, as a couple. It's a turn on or by themselves with the same logic with knowledge and acceptance.

Nor is it a post about individuals, non committed relationships. In this thread they are married and have set "rules obviously, boundries".

Bill Clinton was married and he thought with his d.... and look where that got him... His wife may very well go down in history as the more memorably one... I for one think she will..

Page 1) of this Thread: I KNEW SHE HATED IT. BUT I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT HER.

Therefore it is obvious that they discussed it before hand, they had boundries, he knew and he betrayed that. She is HURT...

That i think is what the women are addressing here.... we all have different opinions in relation to Porn. That's not the issue, as we do in masterbation again not the issue.

The issue here is HURT and how to assist with her getting over the hurt and as a concequence, him ANGRY at her hurt.

The blaming game doesn't work, men do it get over it. Or is that control?

That is what he has asked us... How do I, i did something that i knew she hated but would never hurt her. He meant intentionally hurt as obviously he didn't mean to do that.

Perhaps if he is still reading all of this i would say: -

Personally, if he said to me, we've been together 6 years and look, it was the first time i was just curious, we haven't had much time together for a while due to the kids, and i walk passed you and i'm so turned on but can't do anything, simular to why i masterbate in the shower wanting you, but i must have a kinky side to, as i went back and looked again a couple of times... It's a compliment and it's because i'm hungry for you and for some more adventure in our lives, i would be thinking real hard of what our sexual live is like and if he was right and see it as a sincere apology and that he wants me......They do have kids.

Now i have a lot of energy which i intend to use in a different capacity so i'm not replying anymore to this thread....

I just realised that i wasn't on that other thread that pertained to some paragraphs were i said he was asking this and that...

Haven't learnt all those rules ye t.

So i think Sinister Urge may need to read the threads through to ascertain your question and our answers.

**SinisterUrge** · 03-14-2008 03:59 PM

My response was to THIS.

Originally Posted by Fallen1

Why is it that every time a woman gets upset over something her significant other does that hurts her, porn being the main "offense" I'm referring to, most men want to blame her hurt on her being insecure?

Any and all information that is NOT in the above paragraph was not reviewed prior to my post. Why? Because I am lazy. I did not bother to read people's minds to come up with an underlying situation.

In future, please be more specific before you ask for opinions.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go hide behind a false wall in the bedroom while I watch my wife fornicate with some underage boy she picked-up at the mall.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-14-2008 04:18 PM

Originally Posted by SinisterUrge

My response was to THIS.

Any and all information that is NOT in the above paragraph was not reviewed prior to my post. Why? Because I am lazy. I did not bother to read people's minds to come up with an underlying situation.

In future, please be more specific before you ask for opinions.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go hide behind a false wall in the bedroom while I watch my wife fornicate with some underage boy she picked-up at the mall.

Na, it was because we have all replied to the other thread and knew it inside out.

Hense my last response i realised that you had absolutely no idea perhaps of that thread.

Thanks for the last paragraph, good to laugh so early in the morning, well it is here for me... Of course you met, just at the age limit...