I was totally at a loss for words...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-21-2008 01:16 AM

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

Sex is very important to relationships - at least for some people. People like to think about romantic love - but woul not want to marry someone of the same gender, no mater how much they liked them (assuming they are not gay of course).

Sexual problems can be difficult to fix, and can eat away at an otherwise happy relationship. A common theme of almost all marriages is that you can only sleep with your partner. If you cannot have an acceptable sex life with your partner, you are giving up on that for the rest of your life - or until divorce - or cheating.

I agree rcoreyus that it is highly important to a relationship and if done with love "as well as horny occasions" which is still with love, it keeps you young, free, spirited, sexy and alive. As such everything else falls into pattern as well, as you are happy. I think that there is still room for "romantic love" it adds some form of quality, maybe once a month as a little fantasy of it's own, with romance.

The hardest thing with sexual problems is for both parties to totally be honest as to what is going on and why, usually one hides behind fear of telling. Or if that communication is there, and one ignores it, then again, it's a problem hard to resolve.

Divorce is not taken lightly as to the previous post before you. It is when you have taken every single avenue and gone back and forward and used all of your being and power to make it work but nothing changes it's not going to change... You can't "change someone" only a circumstance or difference.

I walked, i'm in my 40's and i'd do it 10 times over again. I'm too young to grow old like in the olden days and die having been unhappy for 30,40 years as that is at the end of the day, what staying married in a loveless relationship where sex is concerned will be like....

It doesn't mean you don't "love" the other person of course you got married it was there, but can't keep hitting brick walls either over and over again... You eventually fall out of "love" and just have a love for that person, as apposed to being in love, frankly then you don't want that sex anyway as there's no compassion or passion or any feelings left to give, just sex... Ahh, no thanks..

I think everyone tries before they get to that stage and make that decision of course un-less unfaithfulness or abusive is involved.

**Mourningman** · 03-21-2008 09:33 AM

Holy Jesus your ex complained about the way you cleaned the refridgerator? I know I have said things in the past that probably have cut deep but I have never been a whining complainer to that extent. But she also has a stinger on her toungue. But I let it go and after a few days it is forgotten.Maybe not forgotten but never dwelled on and made me seeth with anger.I suppose that why guys and gals are different. We have talked about the sex issue but do not come to commonground. I just think that after 20 years of being together there should be better understanding for each other and I have been very accomidating to her wishes and i don't think there is anything wrong with having a crazy wild sex side(in my dreams) at my age but she disagrees. There is way too much for us guys to think about when it comes to you woman and sexuality. If we were only wired more closely a little bit of us in you and a little bit of you in us. Jez maybe thats were the sex comes in.

**Fallen1** · 03-21-2008 09:50 AM

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

Sexual problems can be difficult to fix, and can eat away at an otherwise happy relationship. A common theme of almost all marriages is that you can only sleep with your partner. If you cannot have an acceptable sex life with your partner, you are giving up on that for the rest of your life - or until divorce - or cheating.

I agree here. Next to money, sex is one of the biggest issues that can cause problems in a relationship.

C · 03-21-2008 10:54 AM

If a woman is sexual she knows it....She cannot just change her mind and say now I am sexual....As for me, I have always been sexual....What happened to me three years ago last May was because I emptied my mind to every stress I had....Inner family stress..You can't change what you can't change........Money has never been a problem....We live well...I knew that I was always hot and had been hot on occasions when I let it out..But embarrassment being this sexual woman during this hot act, would make me run and hide within..This is the dumbest thing I ever did in my life, but many women do this...Good old Eve syndrome of long ago of eating that apple...Clothe thyself..Sin no more.....Now I don't hide...I enjoy every part of being this hot woman that I am...I guess that is why so many women read what I write and are now letting it all hang out....I have a hard time believing that a sexual woman can hold it in for years without having some hot affairs...I always knew who I was and just plain broke free...

Morningman's wife is not going to change...He has to either be content with what he has or divorce, have an affair or wear himself out masturbating...Unlike another poster, I feel sex is the most important thing in a marriage...Money will follow...My sailor delivered bread when he left the service but love and sex makes a man a king...

You cannot change the libido in a person. A Therapist will try and help but that is about as far as that goes. Can you imagine a Therapist trying to change my libido to nil? Thats the same difference...You marry or partner with someone like you are or don't join hands. That person is not going to change after marriage..Probably get worse...That is why so many marriage's fail and affairs start....Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors...TC, C

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-21-2008 02:13 PM

Originally Posted by Mourningman

Holy Jesus your ex complained about the way you cleaned the refridgerator? I know I have said things in the past that probably have cut deep but I have never been a whining complainer to that extent. But she also has a stinger on her toungue. But I let it go and after a few days it is forgotten.Maybe not forgotten but never dwelled on and made me seeth with anger.I suppose that why guys and gals are different. We have talked about the sex issue but do not come to commonground. I just think that after 20 years of being together there should be better understanding for each other and I have been very accomidating to her wishes and i don't think there is anything wrong with having a crazy wild sex side(in my dreams) at my age but she disagrees. There is way too much for us guys to think about when it comes to you woman and sexuality. If we were only wired more closely a little bit of us in you and a little bit of you in us. Jez maybe thats were the sex comes in.

Thanks, i laughed out loud at your first line, it was like " holy batman"

never looked at it like that Morningman.

Yep that little stainless steel fridge had to be cleaned a "certain way" in certain rythmns of strokes as not to scratch it, and slowly i was even shown how ( lol). If only he had worked that out in the bedroom hey!!!! It is funny when i think of those types of things now... I was actually walking on egg shells a lot, oops, forgot to put the exhaust fan on whilst cooking...

Seems your at a bit of a loose end yourself. And, i'm sure you'll work out in the end how you feel and do what ever you have to do. You are also important, we all are.

And, yep, we are complicated creates to a degree, but i was a sensual person to start with, and i put that down to, i have always had a lot of love to give, and was always an affectionate person. Just needed to find like, as like attracts like.

I also think if a woman doesn't like sex, and she is a bit of a "cold" person, even seeing a therapist, not much success has been reported as totally cured, it's "i'm getting a bit better" result.

I'm going to go now with that " holy batman" thought, and have another laugh.....

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