VERY new to sex and i'm in a lot of pain. please help me.

**starryeyedgirl** · 03-22-2008 04:04 PM

Ok so i've had sex with this guy a few times now... the first time wasn't really that great as i was a virgin. THe second time was much better only I was moderately sore in the morning.. and I also bled quite a bit and i wouldn't have thought anything of it but i bled for 3 days after so i assumed we had broken what needed to break. Then this time was a bit rougher and really lengthy. Which was fine except afterwards I was really sore and then I went into the bathroom and realized I had torn, which explained the bleeding this time but then I was also swollen beyond belief and now 2 days later I'm still swollen and sore.. and one lips of my vagina is really bruised {like almost black and blue}. Because hes the first guy I have ever been with I don't really know if this is normal or if I should see a doctor I'm kinda of scared, because it really hurts making it difficult to walk and sit sometimes. Please help me..

**kjersi** · 03-22-2008 04:53 PM

sorry to say that doesnt sound good at all.i also bleed for a coulpe days on and off.but the bruising. that just sounds like to much! i hope u get better.

C · 03-22-2008 05:01 PM

I would think you should have this checked out..The problem being the tear could be serious.. The bruising alone is concerning...If you are torn badly inside, you will need to be stitched up...You do not want to go through life like this but it must be done now...Go to the emergency or urgent care and play it safe....

In the meantime sit in a warm tub and get some relief...As I told another poster, spread your lips apart to bring some comfort to the inner parts of your vaginal area...Keep the water warm...Good luck....

TC, C

**Richard S** · 03-22-2008 05:12 PM

If you want a guy's perspective, you need to tell your boyfriend to be more gentle, he should use this thing called "foreplay" which means that he makes sure you are relaxed and wet before he goes in. The vagina will naturally stretch out and lubricate itself, if you are with a guy who makes love to you gently and takes his time.

You might also want to buy some lube at a sex store. Like I said, bruised labia probably means he's going in without you being aroused and wet enough. Couples of all ages use lube, and there are many good brands out there that are designed just for straight couples.

Lastly, yes you should definitely talk to a doctor.

Good luck.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-22-2008 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by Richard S

If you want a guy's perspective, you need to tell your boyfriend to be more gentle, he should use this thing called "foreplay" which means that he makes sure you are relaxed and wet before he goes in. The vagina will naturally stretch out and lubricate itself, if you are with a guy who makes love to you gently and takes his time.

You might also want to buy some lube at a sex store. Like I said, bruised labia probably means he's going in without you being aroused and wet enough. Couples of all ages use lube, and there are many good brands out there that are designed just for straight couples.

Lastly, yes you should definitely talk to a doctor.

Good luck.

I agree with Richard. It's all a new experience for you so don't think it will always be this way as it's not.

Don't stress to much about what may be or not be, as only your Doctor can advise you on that and it may be something simple that you have to explain to your boyfriend about new sex and what's best for it, as Richard said you do need to know a bit more that can help you to enjoy without any pain.

Best of wishes.

**Hystorm** · 03-23-2008 01:39 PM

From the very first honeymoon night, we have been using lube with almost everything we do.
KY is a good standby, also Baby Oil has worked wonders. Its also good to spread baby oil on your front legs and his is you are doing either missionary or girl on top. Lotion will also work as long as its not too perfumey. Vasiline is another good one and the good ole stand by: Saliva.

Only once in my 13 years of marriage/sex have we not used any lube. She was so turned on that she shouted "forget the lotion and get in."
It worked ok, but not nearly as nummie as with some kind of assistance.

If you are getting bruised...good , your man needs to calm down and treat you like a lady...that is unless you want to be pounded upon which some like.
Remind him its not just for him, but you also want it a certain way too. If you have the right kind of guy, he will put your pleasure way before his own. Us guys that are experianced know once the women is taken care of, she will bend over backwards (and in some cases literally) to pleasure the man.

Happy Easter

**Richard S** · 03-23-2008 03:27 PM

This stuff pretty much transformed my marriage...

Amazon.com: Bodywise Limited Liquid Silk, Sensual Lubricant, 8.45-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 2): Health & Personal Care

**Little** · 03-23-2008 04:14 PM

A bruised labia? That's really extreme. I've had roughing up, I've had lube issues, but I've never had a bruised labia.
Tell him to ease up on you. Seriously ease up on you. As a comparison, if you were playing around and he bruised up your arm, would you keep letting him play that way? No. So when you're having sex, he shouldn't be so rough as to bruise. Have him slow down or be more gentle when he's penetrating you.
Definitely take a break of at least a week before having sex again. And see a doctor. You want to make sure EVERYTHING is completely healed, and that you're communicating properly, before you try again.
Good luck

**Toodles** · 04-06-2008 02:21 AM

I agree that you should probably see a doctor to make sure you aren't internally injured. You don't want a serious health problem do you? The doctor will probably be able to tell you how it happened, and how to prevent it from happening again.

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