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Thread: Help!

  1. #1
    Junior Member Array Angelic Babe's Avatar
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    Question Help!

    Hi eveyone, ( guess what, i'm new)

    i'm 22 and have been with my second ever boyfriend for 3 months. My first one was back when i was 15. He's been patient with me but now has started to give me hints that he wants sex with me. I' ve just been putting it off because i think i'm scared of what it will be like.

    Any ideas?
    Thanks

  2. #2
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Autumn's Avatar
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    Don't feel pressured into doing it. wait until you are 100% ready. i'm 21 and I'm not ready. People make fun of me all the time, even my family, but i'm just not ready. Obviously I do wonder what it;s like at times but i'm in no hurry to find out.
    Talk to your boyfriend, If he respects you he'll wait until you're ready.
    But please don't do it until you are, you'll regret it.

  3. #3
    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Autumn View Post
    Don't feel pressured into doing it. wait until you are 100% ready. i'm 21 and I'm not ready. People make fun of me all the time, even my family, but i'm just not ready. Obviously I do wonder what it;s like at times but i'm in no hurry to find out.
    Talk to your boyfriend, If he respects you he'll wait until you're ready.
    But please don't do it until you are, you'll regret it.


    That is very good advise from Autumn.

    You have to want to.

    Let him know that you are not ready. There are other ways to assist in satisfying each other and exploring, if you are ready for that step.

    Communication is important in a relationship.

    He is still with you 3 months on, so chances are he'll understand as he has feelings for you.

    But only when your ready.

  4. #4
    Junior Member Array Angelic Babe's Avatar
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    hi guys

    thanks alot for the tips, i had a chat with hiim and he accepted that i wasn't ready. (lol, he really got up from the chair and cuddled me for about an hour as we watched some tv programme.)
    Anyway, next week he's going to be away for the whole week, so any ideas as to how i can be a bit more "prepared" for when he comes back.

    on the plus side the flat is mine for a whole week so i can do whatever i want!

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    Well, over here in the US we have the concept of "bases" which we borrowed from great game of Baseball.

    - First base = kissing, necking, "making out" (long sessions of open-mouth kissing)
    - Second base = touching or "petting" above the waist, either over or under clothes
    - Third base = touching or "petting" below the waist, either over or under clothes
    - Fourth base = intercourse, "going all the way"

    Now, sometime over the past 10 - 15 years, some people have re-defined third base as being = oral sex, which changed the definition of second base to include all forms of touching / petting.

    My point is, you really haven't told us what "base" you have gotten to so far. Speaking as a guy, if the girl really likes making out with you, that's a pretty good sign that she's ready for more. What I mean is that when we kiss a girl, there's a sense of her succumbing or "giving in" to the embrace.

    If you are already at first base, just explore with your hands, or give him permission to do the same. Fully explore each base before moving on to the next one. Take your time.

    It's not really a question of which base means you are actually "having sex". To be honest, as we get older, we appreciate that a deep, passionate kiss, under the right conditions, can be as erotic as going all the way.

    Have fun, enjoy your youth.

    And post back with updates.

  6. #6
    Junior Member Array Angelic Babe's Avatar
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    hi guys, me again

    i'd say we are somewhere between 2nd and 3rd base. I mean i really want to have sex with him but i just don't think i'm ready. Should i just let him have me and go from there?

  7. #7
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Dollface2008's Avatar
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    sex for the first time is a scary thing weather it is loosing your verginity or having sex with a new boyfriend for the first time. and i wish i had waited to do it for the first time with a boyfriend, i actually lost it to my best friend at the time when we were drunk and ive regreted it ever since because now we hardly talk but make sure you feel right about it and comftorble because your first time together isnt something you want to regret!

  8. #8
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    You have the choice between "going all the way" and doing something up to but not including that. Often times this is called "doing everything but".

    But you really need to talk to him about it, so that you agree on the "rules" before going further. It's not about just "letting him have you" unless that's what YOU want.

    I'll say one more thing. This is a very personal thing you're deciding, and you should listen to your heart, not some stranger on a message board.

    Good luck. Based on what you've written here I'd say this guy is a very lucky bloke, no matter what happens.

  9. #9
    Junior Member Array Angelic Babe's Avatar
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    hi again,

    as far as wanting to do "it" is concerned i'm all the way at the top. Sadly, he's gone to bed as he's going away 2morrow at 5am or somthing and i won't see him for a shole week. i get the feeling this is not the sort of thing that should be talked about on the phone so i'll probably give him a "surprise" nxt sat.

    Can anyone reccomend anything (e.g candles, music, lingerie or anything?)
    You guy's have been an amazing help and i'm sure my bf will be pleased nxt sat

  10. #10
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Autumn's Avatar
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    Having a week to yourself sounds ideal. Experiment and try different things out, candles.. music.. different lingerie.. find out what makes you feel sexy and comfortable.

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