Thread: Why do I find myself daydreaming of other men

I agree that flirting and fantasies may be dangerous for an already weak relationship. But I wonder, if your fantasies are really more appealing than your spouse, maybe you would be better off without the relationsip?

Sometimes it seems that people stay in unhappy relationships for far too long. I know that sometimes things get better, but often they just degrade until the people hate each other.

Just thoughts.....

If it helps, I do the same thing, well, to women that is.
Although, I never actually imagine doing the deed with them, I just absolutely love beholding beautiful women in all their glory. Infact, I remember when I was a virgin and for whatever reason, would only look at a women once and once only, out of sheer respect. I would not even look at their great breasts! (that is assuming my female subject at question had great breasts) Once I was married and initiated to sex, good lord, I cannot get enough of the sheer delight of seeing a beautiful women.
As a test, you may consider simply fantasizing about other men while making love to your husband, although you probably have done that many times over.
As long as you don’t fantasies about actually banging each guy, about them going down on you, etc...you will be ok.
If you are indeed having sex over and over in your mind with a plethora of men, maybe you should do the honorable thing and leave your husband so he can be with a women that cherishes him. That not in any way intended to be a slam towards you but a factual statement.

Good Luck.

Originally Posted by confusedtonoend

I am married and have a wonderful 2 year old son. I love my husband and even though it is rocky at times we get through it. Even if we are in a high point in our relationship I can't stop myself from flirting or daydreaming about other men. Sometimes wondering if i even have a chance. Its ridiculous i know but I can't help it and after I have my thoughts and daydreams and I see my husband after work I feel so guilty like how could i think that way.. Is this normal I have never cheated on my husband and i don't think i could bring myself up to that but it's like a middle age crisis and i am not even 30 yet.

I think you are playing a very dangerous game of "let's pretend". A fantasy does sometimes take place during deep sexual hunger but you are day dreaming of something that cannot be. This is something you must ask yourself.... "Why am I doing this?

The part of your post that hit me in the face was what I have high lighted... You have said I don't think I could bring myself up to that. These are very dangerous thoughts yet they are thoughts in your deep inner self that you have let loose here at this Forum...Yet saying this, this is the place to say them...In ways you are asking for help, instead of hiding behind a perfect marriage and saying all is well...you are saying I could possibly do this....

Now find what is missing...Correct the mistake that is being made...I can say that truthfully I see a crack in the structure and it needs mending...Don' let it widen so that it cannot be repaired.....Take care, Caroline