raziel1687

I'm pretty new to sex, so I don't know if my situation is strange or not. I think the problem is sorta complex and multi-question. So anyway, ever since I started taking Birth Control about a year or 2 years ago, my libido pretty much fell. I always used to masturbate a lot but after I started taking BC, not so much, and when I did, it took me forever to orgasm, and it still does. But before taking BC, I never had any problems getting to orgasm.

Now I have a boyfriend, and we've been having sex. I can orgasm about 1/2 to 3/4 of the time, but it takes usually at least an hour, and I usually have to close my eyes, and think about some sex scene that turns me on to do it. And when I can't, and my boyfriend cums, afterwards it makes me really angry, and I feel sexually frustrated. And then I get angry at my boyfriend, even though it's not really his fault. But the thing is, he doesn't really try to help me either. He's only had sex with one other women, and he's my first. He doesn't really know anything about foreplay or anything like that.

Last time, I wasn't able to orgasm, and we had gone on for quite a long time, and he told me "Baby, you won't be able to orgasm, you aren't horny." Is a boyfriend who is supposed to care about my pleasure supposed to say something like that? I think what ****es me off is not so much that I can't cum, but that he doesn't try to do anything to help me. I'm used to masturbating and orgasming. I'm not used to NOT orgasming, so he's also told me that since I'm a woman, whether I orgasm or not doesn't really matter, because there is always the emotional aspect of it. And when he said that, that really ****ed me off. I think I'm more like a guy when it comes to sex, because I haven't really felt anything emotional out of it that I know of, I'm too focused on trying to make myself orgasm. So I don't know what I should do, but I'm getting really frustrated, and I'm sure my boyfriend doesn't like it when I'm angry like that. What should I do? How can I not take so long, how can I teach my boyfriend about foreplay, and how can I not get mad if I can't orgasm?

Toodles

An article I read recently in Cosmo told about a woman who had this problem, and was too embarrassed to talk to her boyfriend. Eventually she had to literally show him how she masturbated, which turned out not to be so embarrassing b/c he LOVED it, and then he took over and made his own improvements. Maybe you can tell your b/f how you do it yourself.

This is not unusual, most women have trouble orgasming during penetration alone. He needs to stimulate your clitoris more.

Also, try talking to your doctor about switching birth controls to one that doesn't decrease your libido.

CHANDLERS WISH

Actually, i think your more like a "WOMAN" a real one... You are correct, it is not a woman's job alone to try to concentrate on "visualisation" in order to Orgasm when with a partner. It is about equality and he should be really doing the oral thing over and over until you can't take it anymore, pleasuring you, and as a result, having both of you together a combined orgasm. Of course, you should also take it, "as someone said in a thread" as if you own it and do the same back.

"Baby your not horny?" - Maybe it's baby your all talk and no action " baby".....

Emotions don't play a part where he is coming from " horny" there are no emotions in "horny" it is just raw desire, lust and well horny...

Emotions are there when you are feeling sensual, lusting, not horny.

Clearly he has the wrong end of the stick, he thing that by putting himself in there, you are meant to orgasm? Mmm...

Time to change your boyfriend, because not only does he have no idea, but he is very selfish in my books.

Why should you be concentrating? You should be enjoying and if he can't do the talk, he can't do the walk, and he certainly aint doing the talk.

Tell him how it is..... "Baby, i can do this tenfold without you, there are no emotions i come like a train", So want to go down on me, do it right, long, make me orgasm or what... Bet his reaction is shock horror....

10/10 for him trying to put it on you..... lol.

CW

sarah_rsl

Well for a start make it clear that you're not having an orgasam. If he's any sort of man that'll be something he'll want to deal with.I usually come quite a while before my hubbie does but that isn't any excuse for me to just stop.

Anywho do you find it easier to orgasm when you masturbate yourself? maybe try that during sex alternate between your husband penetrating you and stimulating yourself.

I hope it works out for you.

rebellee47

I can only relate to my own experience with my wife, but here goes, I start slowly and genltly with oral sex on her after a while I will move down closer to the entrance to vagina and penetrate with my toungue she will then start masterbating her clit I will assist some with my toungue but not very fast jsut slow and gentle and as her muscles tighten I maight then increase my speed a little and insert 1 finger only into her and massage her cervix slowly and gently always until she achieves her first orgasm then I totally take over with my toungue thru the 2nd and maybe 3rd one then we make love. Just my $.02.Hope this is allowed I am not trying to write anything wrong...Lee