I want to add that I am in no way sexually frustrated, my boyfriend takes really good care of me and satisfies me. Porn bothers me because I love pleasing my guy and being pleased by him, if he has more energy , I want to spend it with him, because I love our sex and him so very much. I don't feel he cheats on me with porn, I feel CHEATED... out of experiences we could have shared BECAUSE of porn sometimes.
Its rare, and even more rare these last few months. I mean I don't know how rare his viewing is... but I know that we are sharing more 'experiences' together than ever, enough for me to not feel he isn't excited by me anymore.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
Its true, its physical vs mental. Women see sex on such a mental level... which is why they will get just as mad at their man for having long phone conversations with a lady as they would him actually having sex with her.
We tend to want our lovers mind to be on us, porn just points out the obvious that their mind is elsewhere.
Men tend to want their lovers body to be theirs, they can gab to barney and fred all they want as long as they get to be the one to make them moan.
So I can see how vibrators can disturb guys as much as porn disturbs women.. its two different things to the people they affect... but the effect is the same.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
He's one lucky man.
Okay...tried talking with my husband but he refuses to want to back off the porn and masturbation. He said he would not care if I used a vibrator instead of him so why should I care if he would rather masturbate to porn than have sex with me :0( He either just doesn't get it or just doesn't care...I love him and this is soo very sad. I should just try to play the game of ignoring it but it is sooo hard for me!! I'm not an ogre or way over weight so I don't get it. I told him it hurt my feelings when he told me he just doesn't get horny and I have to make all the moves...he isn't going to do it...I have to get him in the mood. From my prespective why he isn't attracted to me is because he looks at porn daily and it is always the same thing....teens...lesbians or a whole gang of girls and watches it soo much that that is the visual he needs to get turned on...its not me. He is 49 and I am 40 so what more does he want. I'm frustrated and don't see how we can be one of the couples that grow old together..it is all about what he wants and if I don't like it tough...I'm soo soo sad and want the touch of my man...a vibrator is just not the touch I'm looking for and he is looking for the touch of his hand and his movies in his mind. Even when we are together he can't finish off with out doing it himself...I'm just not enough anymore...I need help desperately!! I thank you all for listening :0(
Hello all...just an update. Roni left yesterday for deer hunting but we actually worked allot of things out. He has chosen to cut back on looking at porn and I have seen much improvement He says he may not be always ready to go allot but all I have to do it come onto him and such and he can get in the mood quickly...he says he is getting older and it just takes a little bit more work to get him going. I can do that....with my high drive it works....I like for him to come onto me too but if this is how it is for right now I can live with it :0) Life seems to have brightened since our talk and I think he finally does realize watching those videos does take away from us and since he has slacked off our sex life has picked up! We'll see how he is after a week of hunting and not doing anything...I'm sure I won't have to worry about coming onto him first when he gets home...ha ha ha I do thank you all for your advice and support and hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving~Moni
This is good.
Any sane man would much rather have the real thing than an allusion.
Oops. Illusion not allusion.
Does not compute.
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