You are not alone!!!! I am 35 and had my hystorectomy in Sept '09, I've noted that a lot of changes to my hormes have been happening aswell. Sex was never an issue, but after this operation, it has become the only thing on my mind. Concentrating at work has become a problem. I still have 1 ovary. So I'm not using any hormon pills. The drive is driving me nuts. And like you said Ï don't know how long he is going to keep up with the drives" Any suggetions?
My, my, this is an oldie.
Welcome to the club, we've had a lot of discussion about this. I'm over 50, have not had a hystorectomy and have a very high drive.
I don't have a solution. If you don't have a man who wants sex like you do or values having a woman in his life who does, you are kind of stuck.
Exersize helps. masterbation at least relieves some of the tension even if it isn't very satisfying. Climbing the walls, bite your nails - I don't know. It's kind of a tough luck situation.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
WC WC WC,life is too short, too short to spend it climbing the walls and biting your nails don't you think? If masturbation isn't satisfying and the love of your life won't meet your needs... would you ever consider an open relationship with him? Would he? I know you probably aren't one for sex without emotional connection so that is a toughy.
I'm not either.. I need to feel loved to feel sexual. I am far from menopause but I have a very high sex drive. My boyfriend does satisfy me, more so now than ever that we talked about it and how much I need him, etc.
It would be hard to imagine resigning yourself to a life of unsatisfying masturbation and nail biting and chalk it up to tough luck. Its no way to spend the short time allotted us human beings I don't think.
I think if ones husband/boyfriend/lover doesn't have a matching drive thats no reason to move on, especially when the love is strong otherwise... but a love that strong should involve some understanding on their part to pitch in on your satisfaction , even if its just with touches, toys or being close to you while you please yourself so that there is intimacy.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
I don't consider an open relationship an option. He has some "stuff" he needs to work through, I'm giving him some time to do it - but not forever, which I plan to remind him of soon. If we can't work it out, I'll have some serious thinking to do. I agree life is too short to do without, but also much too long to spend poorly matched, I spent the first 50 yrs that way. Time will tell and I'm prepared to give it enough time but not too much - I hope.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
It will get easier to control. I am almost 40 (no Hysto) and have been dealing with this for about 4 months. Communication with your guy is Key!
"When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us."
Helen Keller
WC WC WC,Having tried quite a few dates, noting, without sleeping with them, their need for lust, settling, anyone, needy, just take who ever... Personally, I would rather climb the walls on my own, via my own methods... than give to someone whom, just wants to settle, and then, not give... once settled...He has some "stuff" he needs to work through, I'm giving him some time to do it -
WC, I love you and I know you keep saying this.... but, if he can't compromise and be, then he wasn't for you to start with...
Sorry....
love me still?
xx
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
What does this man offer you?Originally Posted by WildChild
Hypersexuality in premenopause
My wife who has been very conservative sexually over our 30 year marriage became hypersexual in the past two years. It came on over a period of 3-4 months and manifested itself first as a compulsion for internet fantasy sex. This progressed to full-on participation in the lifestyle and almost an addictive drive for sexual activity. This is very real. Neither of us understand the trigger but believe it may be at least in part, hormonal. There is no history of promiscuity or childhood sexual abuse. I agree with the original post...there is very little information about this "later stage" hypersexuality on the internet. We know other women in the lifestyle that have similar stories. While other men might say to "count our blessings", the hypersexuality has definitely changed our relationship even though we still are deeply in love. We both hope this moderates but for now it drives just about everything we do.
Old thread.
Closed.
Friendship Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Amen
Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
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