Thread: Anxiety before orgasm

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, and I have never been able to have a 'full orgasm'. I realize that this is very common for most women, but I am extremely frustrated. My sex drive has been through the roof for the last 6 months, and I cannot figure out what the deal is. I constantly think about it- The big problem is that my boyfriend and I are not getting married for 9 more months, and he is very strong on 'waiting until marriage' for sex. He is extremely worried about 'getting pregnant and all the stress that is involved. So the last 5 years we have been having strictly oral sex, which is fine and great, but for some reason, I cannot relax, when I get close to the 'o' period. I am able to relax when he starts, and thoroughly enjoy it, but I get so extremely sensitive once I get close. I pretty much just push him off. I have tried masturbating myself to climax, and the same thing happens.

What do I do?? Do I need to fight this urge and try to relax or am I experiencing some type of anxiety?? Half of me thinks that once we start having intercourse that this will resolve, but maybe not?? I am frustrated, and of course my boyfriend is extremely frustrated. He feels awful that he can't please me, but it does feel great. I am thinking that I'm the problem.

Any help would be appreciated?! Thank-you so much!

jde

Any tips for me, or has anyone felt this same problem.

Hey hun, i dont think youre experiencing an anxiety in any way - its more likely that your clitoris is becoming too sensitive as youre getting more and more excited. Which, unfortunately is frustrating for you! Try asking your partner to soften his tounge, or slow down a little? This may work, but then as you become close to orgasm..you might become too sensitive again

I am feeling your frustration. You said you feel things will change when your married and having intercourse...which they will as youll be receiving vaginal stimulation rather than clitoral...so maybe see if your partner can bring you to orgasm using his fingers inside you?

In the meantime, just try and relax...easier said than done, but the more tense you are the more sensitive youll become. Good luck!

thanks for the reply. I will definately try the 'softening technique'. Hopefully we can resolve this somehow. Thank-you for understanding. I just feel like I'm going nutz. I just wish we could 'do it'. For some reason, I feel like if we were having sex, then at least I could say, well, we're trying everything we can. We'll see!

Thank- you very much. jde