Thread: Porn

So I know that this isn't a new topic, but I have found out that my boyfriend has been subscribing to porn websites. When I have asked him about wanting to watch it together, he doesn't really show interest one way or the other. I love to please him, and he knows that and he loves pleasing me. Why has porn entered the picture?? Could it be that I am not pleasing him as much as I thought?? Or is it just that I majority of guys like to watch it? I'm feeling kinda confused here...please help!

You're right it isn't a new subject here.

What I have learned here is that the majority of men watch it whether they are in a relationship or not and the reasons they watch it and the frequency of watching it all varies.

Just run a search for "porn" on these boards and you'll have more information and arguments than you can shake a stick at. Just.... read them... It'll save everyone the time of typing the same stuff all over again for your benefit.

There is the chance that he is in to some sort of fetish porn that he is afraid to talk to you about. My best advice is to be open with him and tell him what turns you on...even the stuff that you have never told anyone. You could find some porn that turns you on and ask him to watch it with you. Good luck!

This is a subject that women must learn to understand...I never knew it was this epedemic nor never learned how much I could change in my way of thinking over the last two years. I think if I were you I would work feverisly at getting this stopped. It can only bring heartbreak...

My attitude is that if you are in a committed monogamous relationship, you have the right to ask that he show you whatever he's doing online, and he has the same right with you.

Most (well a lot of) guys keep a porn stash on their PC's, just like we'd have a few Playboy's lying around in the old days. There is a spectrum between harmless and over-the-top behavior. I personally think it's silly to pay to subscribe to sites when there is so much out there for free.

But, it's hard to say what's happening with your BF if we don't know what kind of sites he's visiting and how often. Like any other addiction, if he's devoting a non-trivial amount of his daily time to it, that's your first red flag.

Well I know that it isn't an all the time 24/7 occurance especially between work and being with his friends and spending time with me. It almost makes me wonder if maybe he is just curious and thinks that the material that he pays for is better? He constantly wants to please me and always tries a new position when we do have sex, maybe it could be that

porn will increase his sex drive, color his sexual imagination, and give him an insatiable desire for you.

for a while.

the danger is that once it hooks him - if it hooks him - it will destroy all of those things.

is it worth the gamble? if so, turn the other way & let boys be boys. if not, be nervous, protect your relationship, and start a discussion.

Thanks everyone for all your responses!

I know its normal for them to look at it, because they are very visual. It hasn't made our sex life any different, its still hot and the sex is still great. It will just be something that I will have to keep an eye on. We aren't living together yet, but we will be within the next couple months (we have been together for almost 2 1/2 years). If it does impact us, then there will be a talk taking place.

Thats a great attitude to have, but if you want take it one step further and if you like looking at porn as well get him to catch you one day and see what his reaction is. Some men think women just look at porn to please their man and not cause women like porn as well.