sk8cara

Hi!
I'm new here, & I'm 16, & I'm wondering if I'm ready for sex, I don't have many friends to talk to because I'm home schooled & for some weird reason it's hard to talk to my mum about this.

So basically I'm wondering if I'm going to feel horrible the next day & be angry with myself/if I'm too young/I don't even know what to expect even though I feel like I want to do this.

Any advise? =/

CHANDLERS WISH

Hi sk8cara. Check in tomorrow because lots of people at this time of the night aren't on line but will be in the morning onwards so that's the first thing i want to let you know.

I can only say to you if you are even thinking those things, then i would say you are not ready.

I think when you are ready, is when you "feel" not only that you want to do it, but you can't wait to do it if that makes sense.

It's always hard to tell your Mum, hey what do i do here, because Mum's are mums.

You could approach it differently and as an Adult and talk about it in general, you know, like, well obviously this happens in life, and i would prefer to be prepared for when that day comes, whenever that day is, so what do you think you feel etc, mum type of thing, make it a general discussion so you can add her view as well as other's here if that makes sense and then make your mind up from there.

I personally think, if you question then no your not ready at all....

Hope that gives you one opinion to start with....

CW

Little

Many times I thought I was "ready" and it still didn't happen for some reason, and when it did the first time, turns out I wasn't ready.
Holding back will teach you alot about YOURSELF as well as your partner.
A friend of mine, 16 and in high school, just lost her virginity and last night she texts me asking why she was bleeding so hard ... I thought maybe it was her period; she said she didn't think so.
She can't talk to her mom about it, can't go to the doctor, can't do anything about it now. She's helpless, and I live 3 hours away. Don't get stuck in her rut. Have backup plans, have the ability to go to a doctor, be able to trust your mother.

Fallen1

Only you know whether or not you are ready. I'm with Chandler though, if you're questioning it then maybe your not.

If and when you choose to have sex make sure that you are doing it because YOU want to not because others and be sure to fully educate yourself on the consequences - std's and pregnancy.

miffed23

Hey sweetie, firstly - welcome!
Im definitely agreeing with Little and Fallen, sorry to repeat the same thing, but if you are wondering and questioning if youre ready, then you probably arent. It would also help us to give you advice if you gave a bit more info, such as are you in a loving relationship? What has made you think that you want to have sex?

You said that you dont know what to expect, so you could always educate yourself, get a book or look on the internet for first time experiences.. It would certainly help if you had an idea of what to expect. Remember though, that there is absolutely no rush. Dont just think that youre 16, so youve gotta crack on with it (so to speak) now.

Id definitely recommend spending time on kissing, petting etc first (if you havent already); before you contemplate sex.

sk8cara

Hey, everyone!

Thanks SO much for all the help & advise so far.
I'd love to give you more details so here!
I was really hurt by this guy I really felt
something for & after I told him I thought I was too young for sex he left me & everyone is saying it's my fault. =/

It's been a while but I still cry about him every now & then & I'm asking advise for the future & since I turned 16 I've felt like maybe I'm getting more ready & at this age guys are everywhere around me & really wanting to go out.

SinisterUrge

When in doubt, stick with oral sex.

miffed23

Aww, honey, im sorry to hear that...what a loser he was -good riddance i say and good for you telling him you were too young and not ready. No man / woman should force their partner to get intimate with them.

Im trying to think back to when i was 16.... i was going out a bit and kissing a few guys here and there, i remember that there was a lot of pressure to have sex and it seemed like everyone around you was having sex. My best advice is to wait, especially until you meet someone that you really trust and that really respects you - you'll know when theyre a good person. Dont do a 'me' and let the pressure get to you or you will be likely to make bad decisions.

There is plenty of time to have sex...youll know when you are ready. For now, id just enjoy yourself - hang out with your friends, women and men. Have fun doing all the dating things- flirting, hugging, kissing. There really is no rush honey, and believe me, you wont be the only one who has not had sex! I hope that helps a bit. Take care. xx

sk8cara

When you put it that way...
Yeah, I should wait.

Thank you SO much, I'll be weighting for someone who actually "respects" me.
Thanks, I feel relieved.
I probably wasn't going to have it in me once I got in a relationship to ask this. So again- THANK YOU!!!!!!

miffed23

Honey, you are an amazing lady. (as much i can tell from infront of my computer )

I know ive gone on and on and on about waiting...but seriously, when sex is in the conclusion, youve got to think soley about yourself. Am i confortable with this? Does this feeling make me feel happy? etc.....

Make your first time memorable for all the right reasons. "I was so relaxed, he was so attentive to my needs." - Not, "It was a pressure situation, it hurt, i felt i had to do it"

It does NOT matter whether you are 16 or 36 when you first have sex...as long as that experience is with someone whom respects you, and someone whom you feel incredibly relaxed with.

Good luck honey, enjoy yourself for now and do not hesitate to come here again if you need advice.