Thread: Having pain during sex... its been 2 years since i started having sex

It's been almost 2 years since I started having sex. I'm still with the guy I lost my virginity to. I had the normal pain that I should expect during the first few times of sex but the problem is...that it continued. Still to this day it still hurts. I've talked to my doctor about it several times and everything that he suggests has not work. We have tried lubes and different condoms. Lubes only increase my pain. It's like a stinging cut almost, but more of a burn. The only condoms that don't increase my pain is non-lubricated. A doctor suggested that since I'm on the pill that we try it with out a condom. That hurt too. It seems like any fluid that doesn't come from my body hurts.

The pain first starts at penetration. Its a sharp pain. We normally try to wait and let it calm down before we continue. The next pain I feel is right after orgasm. Its this really sore burning feeling.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm feeling less and less intimate after every time we have sex. I don't feel like having sex for long periods of time.


Please leave me any advice you may have.
thanks.

First of all, I am sorry, thats horrible. I am allergic to latex condoms and the pain you describe sounds like the same pain I got. I know you said you tried without condoms so I guess that isnt it. Some people are ultra sensative in this area when it comes to anything your own body doesnt make. How much foreplay do you have? Maybe you arent ready for penetration yet? Does it hurt just to be turned on or only penetration and then after?

We normally have just a few minutes of foreplay but thats about all we need. This pain happens even when I'm really turned on. I've felt a little pain from his fingers before but not as much as penetration. Besides that its from penetration on.

Vulvar and Vaginal Pain: All About Painful Sex, Dyspareunia, & Vulvodynia

Check out this site...maybe it will help. Sorry I cant be more help

thanks alot, ill take a look at it

Originally Posted by onyx_rose7145

It's been almost 2 years since I started having sex. I'm still with the guy I lost my virginity to. I had the normal pain that I should expect during the first few times of sex but the problem is...that it continued. Still to this day it still hurts. I've talked to my doctor about it several times and everything that he suggests has not work. We have tried lubes and different condoms. Lubes only increase my pain. It's like a stinging cut almost, but more of a burn. The only condoms that don't increase my pain is non-lubricated. A doctor suggested that since I'm on the pill that we try it with out a condom. That hurt too. It seems like any fluid that doesn't come from my body hurts.

The pain first starts at penetration. Its a sharp pain. We normally try to wait and let it calm down before we continue. The next pain I feel is right after orgasm. Its this really sore burning feeling.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm feeling less and less intimate after every time we have sex. I don't feel like having sex for long periods of time.


Please leave me any advice you may have.
thanks.

Hi - you know this is a bit of a difficult one, but reading all your posts especially you talked about evenb the fingers ...the first thing that came to my mind was a condition called VAGINISMUS and it means that your vagina has involuntary muscle spasm , making intercourse/penetration , difficult or impossible as its too painful ...this can go on for long episodes and it could of stemmed back from a difficult or painful internal examination or the dr was a little rough with you or he hurt you ? , if you have suffered any form of sexual abuse or a rape? or due to various reasons you feel or felt guilty about sex or you were around people who taked about sex as "dirty" ect ... or perhaps you had a medical condition (gyne ) one in the past or you were frightend of becoming pregnant ! (although i undestand you are now on the pill, still these thing can have a psychological effect ...even long afterwards or even if you think ...things are fine and you are notreally stressing.

There are many things you can do to help that condition but first it does need to be diagnosed by a dr whatever , so forgive me for assuming it is , it is just going by the information you have posted but of course its a guess .

For vaginismus you can get various sizes of penis shapes to dialate the vagina ...starting with a really small one and over a period of months you work up to the normal sized penis shape ...you inset them with lube and gradually your vagina becomes used to the feel accepts it ..along with other things you can do ...

The other thing , if you have had a tiny cut or tear to vaginal tissue having sex may be stetching this and causing you to be sore all over again . But i honestly thing that because of the first time you lost your virginity because it hurt ..the memory of that painful time is still with you and it has had a psychological effect ...you are expecting to feel pain ...therefore ...you get vaginismus ...but dont worry this can be cured .
If you look into some information about the condition , see if it strikes a cord with you and you could get help from your dr or gyne person and some councilling.

Good luck

Catherine

Originally Posted by onyx_rose7145

It's been almost 2 years since I started having sex. I'm still with the guy I lost my virginity to. I had the normal pain that I should expect during the first few times of sex but the problem is...that it continued. Still to this day it still hurts. I've talked to my doctor about it several times and everything that he suggests has not work. We have tried lubes and different condoms. Lubes only increase my pain. It's like a stinging cut almost, but more of a burn. The only condoms that don't increase my pain is non-lubricated. A doctor suggested that since I'm on the pill that we try it with out a condom. That hurt too. It seems like any fluid that doesn't come from my body hurts.

The pain first starts at penetration. Its a sharp pain. We normally try to wait and let it calm down before we continue. The next pain I feel is right after orgasm. Its this really sore burning feeling.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm feeling less and less intimate after every time we have sex. I don't feel like having sex for long periods of time.


Please leave me any advice you may have.
thanks.

The other thing i can suggest - a warm bath but without all the oils if you suffer from irritation and then your partner to massage you all over the body - failing that a SMALL quantity of alcohol , a couple, not too much of glasses of a good quality wine with a meal ...and a little music ...you know something romantic ...just to see if relaxation is helping ...and some moments alone to do some deep breathing and reelaxation tapes might help you .

I've actually talked to my doctor about that condition and he really doesn't think that it is that. I'm not really sure how to put it but the pain doesn't feel like a muscle spasm, its a stinging that goes numb when I get use to it. I've looked at a lot of articles about vaginismus and it just doesn't sound like what I'm dealing with. I mean I've written what I could put into words on here but you know how like no one can actually know whats really going on with you but you... Thank you though for the information

Originally Posted by onyx_rose7145

I've actually talked to my doctor about that condition and he really doesn't think that it is that. I'm not really sure how to put it but the pain doesn't feel like a muscle spasm, its a stinging that goes numb when I get use to it. I've looked at a lot of articles about vaginismus and it just doesn't sound like what I'm dealing with. I mean I've written what I could put into words on here but you know how like no one can actually know whats really going on with you but you... Thank you though for the information

Hi again - glad you checked out the other. Just thinking, if its like a stinging, have you had your cervix looked at , i mean a good look using a light having an iternal...there could be a little sore spot or something that you just need to examine well , whilst having an internal. Are you getting the same sort of thing when a tampon is inserted or is it just with sex.

Could it be a tiny tiny cut , you know when you get a paper cut on your finger?, its only tiny isnt it , but, it hurts like and stings . Could your boyfriend have just nicked your skin a little bit with his nail or something.

Wish i could be more helpful but id have an internal and really let them have a look it could be a bit of your hymen but having a good examination might sort if . If the pain is high up they could take a better look at your cervix.

Good luck and hope they sort it out for you really soon .
Cathy

I know exactly how you feel, you've described my symptoms and situation to a t... my doctor thinks that it is Vaginismus... the treatments haven't been working.... if you've figured it out please let me know. I've been trying to figure this out for well over a year now, and I'm starting to get sick of it. Best of luck to you and your search for answers!