Don't enjoy giving BJ - how do i get over it?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-05-2008 12:51 AM

I'd have to agree on all points raised, pertaining to you should please your man and visa versa. It should be an equal street absolutely....

Now about taking it in? Sure that's a mans delight, pleasure, but different strokes for different folks, if she can at least equally "own it" and make love to it, work at practice, practice, practice, surely he will be happy with that? You know, do it and do it good and often!!! Not requiring the full monty...? If she can't take that side of it. Then in my books she has done her fair share of being equal...

Frankly i couldn't sleep with my man without doing it, or waking him up doing it, but i have never like the thought of taking it in, on me, but not in my mouth...

I also understand that a man can ejaculate slightly during and that turns women of when it is all a new thing to you but if you use your hand, mouth, and feel him tighten, you can run your hand over the knob and start again, usually there is a slight warning sign, and if not, take a couple seconds out using your hand, wipe your hand over subtly and start again, until you get used to it.

I understand the shower bit together, perhaps he should take more showers before taking you to bed and you will be happier there? Understandable that we all go to bed sometimes and things happen, so if you love him, that's an acceptablity as well...

If you love doing it in the shower, then encourage him to have a shower before going to bed, as this may assist you in doing it more, therefore, wanting it more...

It's actually a grand thing to do, i believe it's a mutual turn on, but starting out it's not easy to get going, that i understand.

CW

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 05-05-2008 04:29 AM

Originally Posted by Uneeklyme

Shave if that helps. Be clean. Be encouraging, not demanding. If the answer is no, whats the sense in starting a fight about it. There is so much time wasted on bickering when other things could be done. I believe this applies to women as well especially if they would like oral sex performed on them.

Shave, or at least trim. In a way I agree that there's no need in bickering, but if people aren't getting what they want and repress it, then it will manifest itself in other ways - such as a long-term deep seeded annoyance/malcontent.

Originally Posted by Uneeklyme

I dont understand why if a woman is obviously not enjoying it or doing it out of some duty, gagging or whatever through the whole experience, a man would even want her to do it again.

Have you ever tried licking vagina? Not that I don't enjoy it, but I'll list some of the things that suck about it. Getting short hairs in your face, they can itch to ****. Taste can be unpleasant, depending on what they've eaten. You're tongue gets SERIOUSLY tired. To the point of being numb and about to fall off, while your womans saying: "ooh, yeah, don't stop, mmm, just a bit more". And so because that's not as good as playing frisbee, I'm never to do it again? Give me a break, people do things that they don't enjoy. People do their jobs, but who actually enjoys them?

Originally Posted by Uneeklyme

As far as swallowing, its my opinion that a man should taste and feel "spunk" in his mouth before he dare demand it from a woman. Sometimes it does taste bad. Alot of the taste is govened by what the man eats, drinks, does he smoke, alcohol consumption... If he wants her to swallow then he should do his part and keep it tasty as possible by avoiding alcohol, dont smoke, drink pinapple juice, dont eat meat, no caffiene. Sound fun? As far as the texture...liken it to a warm, raw egg. Its warm and slimey. Some people just cannot deal with that texture.

I've tried my own, and maybe I'm a freak or something but I think it's nice. Dealing out commands which are worse than the bible just to swallow some spunk? Quit smoking/drinking/meat/tea? Oh come on!

Originally Posted by Uneeklyme

Most of the good feel is in the head of the penis. There really is no reason to shove that thing down her throat nor any reason to try and swallow the whole thing unless you want to. Use your hands on the base and his testicles while you lick and suck the head. Its an alternative anyway and might be a good compramise.

It's nice, deeper is better. There's no need to try if you don't want to? Maybe, if you don't want to do what you can to please your partner, you shouldn't even be in a sexual relationship.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-05-2008 05:24 AM

ANON
Maybe, if you don't want to do what you can to please your partner, you shouldn't even be in a sexual relationship.

Mmmm...... agreed except!!!!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-05-2008 05:25 AM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Mmmm...... agreed except!!!!

The um, don't want to, get lost, don't have to, have pleasured you to the hilt, i'm doing my share, i'll lightly compromise, maybe try it even, however, if no like, don't want to, get lost, don't have to... etc....etc....etc...

CW

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 05-05-2008 05:29 AM

Make some sense! :P

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-05-2008 05:42 AM

ANONMaybe, if you don't want to do what you can to please your partner, you shouldn't even be in a sexual relationship.

Try again, above the post you read!!!!

"TAKING IT IN?"

The um, don't want to, get lost, don't have to, have pleasured you to the hilt, i'm doing my share, i'll lightly compromise, maybe try it even, however, if no like, don't want to, get lost, don't have to... etc....etc....etc...

Is that better? (smile) pressed the wrong one to add the smiley face..

CW

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 05-05-2008 06:09 AM

No offence, but I'm still having trouble trying to make out what you're saying.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-05-2008 06:21 AM

No offense taken, i think?

Actually, my partner does this to me all the time, makes me explain 10 times, well a couple, then laughs as he got it the first time, mmm....

So, if you don't want to what you can to please your partner..... and previously you suggested that "to please her partner" and i right there? You should take it in as well?

I am saying, no.. If you don't like it, but you adore his parts and treat them with the up-most respect, passion and ra ra ra, then surely he can be content, without coming in your mouth...

Isn't it more of if you, don't do it often, ever, nor take it in that, that is frustrating for a man, more so than loving it, him what ever, but choosing, your chose not to take it in? Because you haven't got your head around that yet, not to say what ever the future brings, or not, not relevant... To this particular "logical" scenario?

Perhaps.

CW

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-05-2008 06:23 AM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

No offense taken, i think?

Actually, my partner does this to me all the time, makes me explain 10 times, well a couple, then laughs as he got it the first time, mmm....

So, if you don't want to DO what you can... to please your partner..... and previously you suggested that "to please YOUR partner" am i right there? You should take it in as well?

I am saying, no.. If you don't like it, but you adore his parts and treat them with the up-most respect, passion and ra ra ra, then surely he can be content, without coming in your mouth...

Isn't it more of if you, don't do it often, ever, nor take it in that, that is frustrating for a man, more so than loving it, him what ever, but choosing, your chose not to take it in? Because you haven't got your head around that yet, not to say what ever the future brings, or not, not relevant... To this particular "logical" scenario?

Perhaps.

CW

WITH THE CORRECT SPELLING Ahhh.. flu what can i say, ...

Private.Flangeamin · 05-05-2008 07:58 AM

Originally Posted by lisa_m_t

My BF loves BJ's but everytime i try to give him one i can't help but gag. Don't like the taste, certainly don't want him to cum in my mouth and just find the whole act pretty revolting - any tips on getting past this?

Hello Lisa - i did actually make a comment yesterday - it was a lighthearted jokey comment, more just to say hi to Caro. But it was a serious question , so, id like to give a serious answer, my feelings on this.
Just speaking for myself, i dont and have never seen oral sex a woman giving this to a man as any different as intercourse , what i mean is , i dont see this as a separate act , or i should say for me , its part of one . It has never been something i have consciously 'thought' about doing as in should i do this now, or would he like this ect ...i have just done this anyway ...the reason is ...and i did think until reading all these posts that EVERY woman just did this as it was just a natural thing to do, that almost without thinking it was automatic , if you understand what im saying . If you are atttracted to somebody its a natural desire . When i was with a partner i was very attracted to, that i wanted to have sex with its just automatic , somethimes almost im not realizing im doing it until i am .
I do it because i want to do it and normally id do it for an hour plus , i dont know , partly because i dont realize the time has passed , and parly because i have been the instigator and also i think its not worth doing unless its done for an hour and half or as long as possible , until i was ready for sex...sometimes if the man is tired , i mean hes been working its nice for them if you do it until they are so relaxed they fall asleep ...its a nice relaxation for them ..also its nicer if its anywhere else BUT the bedroom ...its a little bit more exciting .

But, reading the stuff i have been reading , i now see not all women like to do it , i honestly really just thought for all of us it was just a natural want and part of "one" act ...it would be hard to comprehend if somebody told me dont do it ever again , it would feel like id just lost a limb ! i wouldnt think it was worth ever making love again.

I understand you say, i dont like it or its not really for you ...the only thing i can say is , expalin to your partner ...i dont want you to be hurt over this ..(his feelings) but i carnt explain but i just feel uncomfortable...as its best if that is your gut reaction when you think about it , to go with what you feel and dont do it .

But i am surprised as i thought it was just automatic with all women that they did it and part of one thing . But everybodys different . Anyway ...thought id add a few comments .
Regards
Catherine

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