Thread: Sex and Hymen

Hi I am a new member and would appreciate it if any of you can help me out. I am 23 years old and had sex for the first time. Me and my boyfriend both love each other very much and I was never pushed into having sex by him; but finally couple of days ago we went further than kissing and making out and we had sex after being together for 3 years. I had alot of pain but he was very understanding, gentle and patient with me during my first time. On the other hand, due to cultural restrictions, I told him that I might not want to have sex anymore until I get married, even if it is going to be with my present boyfriend. Fortunately he totally understands since he's from the same culture. As I said the only reason that I don't want to contiue any sexually activity is due to cultural restrictions and I am worried if it is going to be noticable fthat I had sex (even though it was one time for 5-8 mins)
for my future husband ??? Does the vagina size change alot after the first intercourse, and can a man feel the hymen as they go inside? and how would I know if I still have a hymen?
Thanks.

Originally Posted by persgirl

Hi I am a new member and would appreciate it if any of you can help me out. I am 23 years old and had sex for the first time. Me and my boyfriend both love each other very much and I was never pushed into having sex by him; but finally couple of days ago we went further than kissing and making out and we had sex after being together for 3 years. I had alot of pain but he was very understanding, gentle and patient with me during my first time. On the other hand, due to cultural restrictions, I told him that I might not want to have sex anymore until I get married, even if it is going to be with my present boyfriend. Fortunately he totally understands since he's from the same culture. As I said the only reason that I don't want to contiue any sexually activity is due to cultural restrictions and I am worried if it is going to be noticable fthat I had sex (even though it was one time for 5-8 mins)
for my future husband ??? Does the vagina size change alot after the first intercourse, and can a man feel the hymen as they go inside? and how would I know if I still have a hymen?
Thanks.

I understand people have their own reasons for wanting to save themselves for marriage. At this time, you have not. Admit it. Why start a new relationship on a lie. Just don't mentioned one way or another unless the person is serious about you and wants to marry you and just has to know. Other than that, it's really nobody's business.
I had a friend that was of Indian (the country) decent. Her culture expected her to be a virgin. She was not. He new husband didn't care, but his sister just kept trying to find out. She even mention she changed the sheets and didn't see any blood (signs of broken hymen). Any man that really loves you, wouldn't turn you down because of 5-8 minutes of lovemaking in your past.

Unless your future, new beau is not a nurse, then he should be totally clueless that your hymen in not intact. He will so much be more into the fact that he finally gets to have some of his cake he has been drooling over for a long time. If you are not planning on telling him, then totally let it go. If he ever askes, just be totally non-chellant about it and say, hey, 1 time, lasted about 8 minutes, not anywhere near how good its going to be with you!!

Trust me, I am dead-center into the same culture here. Lived it until age 27 when I finally found the girl of my dreams! Total knock-out beautiful +10,perfect figure and a VIrgin to top it off!! I too waited for marriage most likely due to the same relegion as you. It was well of me to wait and the little wife would get very upset after we had been fooling around...mostly oral...she would be fine until she climaxed and then she would become a totally different women, all bent about 'we have done wrong'. Once that event wore off, she was back for more, usually being the initiator. I would lay on her both clothed, we would make out like kids in junior high or something. That alone always gave me rock stiffies! It evolved into a game where, she would kiss me and begin the proccess of a limp **** becoming fully erect but getting stuck in my pants. I would playfully tell her, see what you did now, now im going to have to ask you to fix it. Meaning, my schlong was all bent in my pants because i went up so fast, it wasa caught all different way. I would make here, reach into my pants and straiten it for me
She began loving that, I think it was the control she relished over how she could make my schlong go up, down, up, down...

We would often lay down while klissing, I would be on top. Fully clothed. Once the juices got flowing i would begin to slowly grind my manhood into her crotch and slowly she would respond in kind. On several ocations, we both climaxed by doing this. The first for me was a Bit strange as I did not want to leak onto her, so when I came, i lifted up off of her inwhich she grabbed me and pulled me back down as she was not yet finished. SHe was right in the go/no go zone and made ther switch to for over and suddenly lost her means of doing so.

Usually after, she would feel a bit down and sad that we did some bad stuff that needed to eventually be deblt with before marriage in the form of forgiveness, etc. I don't think she ever got over those early days of screwing around and I will still hear about it when an argumant comes around about our sex life, etc. Oh yea, and its all my fault that I pushed her into doing thinks she should not do. I Actually think, the current problems in our marriage are due to her still feeling guilt over her pre-marriage actions. We did 69 once when she was dropping me off for school. It was to be our last night together for severl months.
I totally loved it...so did she, until I assisted in giving her a monster oral orgasm! Since then, she still wont do 69.

Yeap...it can be a tricky ride

Originally Posted by persgirl

Hi I am a new member and would appreciate it if any of you can help me out. I am 23 years old and had sex for the first time. Me and my boyfriend both love each other very much and I was never pushed into having sex by him; but finally couple of days ago we went further than kissing and making out and we had sex after being together for 3 years. I had alot of pain but he was very understanding, gentle and patient with me during my first time. On the other hand, due to cultural restrictions, I told him that I might not want to have sex anymore until I get married, even if it is going to be with my present boyfriend. Fortunately he totally understands since he's from the same culture. As I said the only reason that I don't want to contiue any sexually activity is due to cultural restrictions and I am worried if it is going to be noticable fthat I had sex (even though it was one time for 5-8 mins)
for my future husband ??? Does the vagina size change alot after the first intercourse, and can a man feel the hymen as they go inside? and how would I know if I still have a hymen?
Thanks.

hi i might be from the same religion as yours. our culture also teaches us that sex before marriage is not good but as far as i can see i saved myself entirely not because of my culture but because i wanted to feel special and wait for the right man.

as far as i can see that men these days are more open minded and if you marry the right guy than he wont accuse you of not being a virgin unless he is which is highly unlikely! i have noticed in some cultures and in mine as well that guys can screw as many girls as they want before marriage but they expect their wives to be virgins on wedding night, i'd say that is completely unacceptable!! and as said in the earlier posts you dont have to start making confessions if you think it isnt necessary.

if you worried about what your future husband is going to think about you, i would advise you not to worry about it, find the right guy with an open mind. takecare